tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post7340957891466278521..comments2024-03-09T16:33:07.940-05:00Comments on A Breeder's Journal: M. J., Part FourMr. Steedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439409354795921043noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-83830446971047554112013-01-19T08:27:04.457-05:002013-01-19T08:27:04.457-05:00This made me laugh, and also think about the odd r...This made me laugh, and also think about the odd relationships we find ourselves in sometimes. This one is very strange but yet another part of your history Mr Breeder,Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10849105297213320313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-63690477053435283522013-01-18T22:34:44.340-05:002013-01-18T22:34:44.340-05:00Go easy on yourself. You were young and despite y...Go easy on yourself. You were young and despite your amazing sexual experience, the whole emotional piece was still fairly new to you. Besides, M.J. was rather "peculiah." You cannot predict accurately how he would have responded to telling him to get lost earlier. From your narrative, he seemed to thrive on rejection and earlier rejection might have made his ardor all the stronger.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-72069795606750842732013-01-18T19:25:50.954-05:002013-01-18T19:25:50.954-05:00I know what you're saying, but I have to say, ...I know what you're saying, but I have to say, this story had me laughing right out loud. <br />Especially this, this has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time...<br /><br />“Because it’s hideous.” <br /><br />He stared at me, then lunged. We ended up having sex in the back seat, right there in the parking lot.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-32948954901591667472013-01-18T18:53:41.081-05:002013-01-18T18:53:41.081-05:00"But here’s the thing: if I’d sat M. J. down ..."But here’s the thing: if I’d sat M. J. down and told him that I wasn’t interested in seeing him any more, there would’ve been an argument and then a couple of days of hurt feelings, but very likely it would’ve been over and I could’ve moved on. My method of breaking-up-by-avoidance dragged out for the rest of the semester, and caused months of pain and annoyance and outright anger."<br /><br />Yes a million times yes. We can hurt people a lot when we think we are trying not to hurt them. Don't do it! Part of it is that we don't want to see the hurt we cause. But causing more hurt by avoidance isn't fair either. Don't leave them hope by saying that you don't want a relationship with them 'right now' if you already know that you mean 'ever'. You don't have to be cruel, but being clear and direct is definitely the way to go. Saabnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-34410038712242375762013-01-17T22:08:21.084-05:002013-01-17T22:08:21.084-05:00I was 18, he was 36. An actor. He invited me to ...I was 18, he was 36. An actor. He invited me to move to New York and live with him. We had a wonderful six month affair, with me running around the country to be with him wherever he was on tour. I was so naive and frightened. I ended up meeting him in a hotel room one night and telling him that I didn't want to be gay. I broke his heart and my own in the process. - Uptonking from Wonderland Burlesqueuptonkinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17711022625137627672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-6142549951579807012013-01-17T21:46:37.921-05:002013-01-17T21:46:37.921-05:00I think everyone, in our youth, avoids confrontati...I think everyone, in our youth, avoids confrontation--or I tell myself that. I realize it's a generalization, and I'm sure there are college-aged kids who THRIVE on it. I was not one. Admittedly, I'd have been more likely to be the stalker in this setting. In that, I can safely say that I did all of my own convincing. I'd be the one pining and thinking 'maybe someday.' It was ludicrous and any rational person with a shred of self-esteem doesn't hang around indefinitely. You may not be proud of how this ended, but my guess is that--even if you'd tried it earlier on--you probably would have needed to be just as direct, if only sooner.Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10533385790788991169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-18384684177869602602013-01-17T10:25:25.878-05:002013-01-17T10:25:25.878-05:00Damn...have we ALL had those experiences? I hate ...Damn...have we ALL had those experiences? I hate to admit I've had more than one similar experience that I regret today. One was a gay black man whom I had known since junior high school. It was unknown to me for years, but he died of AIDS (I found out at a high school reunion). I actually was very fond of him...love of sorts...but not a sexual love. I was just too afraid to confront my own insecurities about homosexuality and refused to acknowledge it. I think of him often.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing.Buckeyein Richmondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16105817622569734342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12316001024335229.post-58157898837794046082013-01-17T09:38:09.742-05:002013-01-17T09:38:09.742-05:00I once did not tell myself that I wanted to avoid...I once did not tell myself that I wanted to avoid uncomfortable situations, but that I was being kind. I did not want to be that person who could say harsh things. It ended in a suicide attempt (we were all fairly young and incredibly stupid, like all 20-year olds ;) and a whole circle of people shunning me as if I were a Madame Merteuil.<br /><br />Poor old M.J. At least he was kind of a part in your <i>Bildungsroman</i>!countesszerohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01550120026831486854noreply@blogger.com