Sunday Morning Questions: Last-Minute Shopping Edition

By today's title, I don't mean you guys shopping for me. (Though if you want to, by all means, go ahead.) I mean to confess that I am a last-minute present shopper. A very bad one, too.

I'm usually good at looking at a person and seeing some of the things that make them tick. I'm really good at observing personality quirks and seeing how they rise and connect to the person beneath; I'm especially skilled at listening to the stories that people tell, and understanding why they picked out that story and why they tell it in the manner they choose. I'm good at getting to know the people who are close to me.

But how all that translates into whether to buy someone a scarf or a sweater absolutely mystifies me. I wander into a store and don't have a clue of how to pick out an appropriate gift. I blunder around aimlessly, in an increasing panic, until it's Christmas Eve and there I am in the local drug store that's the only place open for last-minute presents, frantically purchasing Chia Pets for everyone on my list.

Well, it's not that bad. But almost.

Take Spencer, for example. I'd like to get him a small token of a present—nothing too elaborate, nothing too grand. But I don't have a clue of what to get the boy. I don't really want anything consumable. Or a shirt of which he'll dispose in a year or two. Just something small by which he could remember me in the future, that's not overly showy or expensive. Any suggestions from the crowd? (No, no studded cock rings.)

It's my Sunday tradition to round up some of the questions I've tackled on formspring.me. Feel free to use the service to ask your own questions of me—I have a bit of a backlog of questions at the moment so don't be offended if I don't get to yours immediately, but I'll eventually answer anything that's not overly invasive, super-repetitive (I know I've answered hundreds of questions at this point, but rest assured that 'How big is your dick?' is indeed among them), or just batshit crazy.


Do you have random anonymous sex/hook ups with strangers? like using craigslist, restareas, cruising spots, public restrooms etc..
Yes. Where do you want to meet?


Is it the case that bottoms in general are desperate for tops or just that there are few who are hitting up every top they encounter for more?
Some bottoms are a little more strident than others. There's kind of a fine line between 'aggressive' and 'desperate' for me. While I appreciate a good 'Hey buddy, I'm horned up and looking for some good dick in my hole. Interested?' as a come-on, I'm turned off immediately when it gets that needy, whiny, accusatory edge, like 'Are we EVER going to fuck or are you just jerking me around?'

If a bottom wants a guy's dick, that's one thing. If he acts as if he's entitled to it and the top is merely standing between the bottom and his intended goal, it's a distinct turn-off.


You said you like to look for how well the bottom performs for the top. What are the ingredients of good performance?
The short list is: attentiveness, hunger, enthusiasm, being in the moment instead of letting other cares overwhelm the encounter, and the ability to finish what one starts.

For me, being a good kisser doesn't hurt, either.


Do you follow back every person who follows you on Twitter? And if you do, do you block all the bots and obvious fakes or do you follow back any way (or just leave them as a follower)?
I follow back people on Twitter if they seem interesting, don't have a timeline filled with nothing but YouTube video links, aren't commercial enterprises, and look like they chat with others.

I tend not to follow people who have set their tweets to private, or speak in a language I don't understand, or who're overly cynical and proud of it, or mistake bitterness for wit. The only people I block are those who are obvious spam bots.

Sometimes I miss following people I'd probably like. I hope they speak up and let me know.


Do you unfollow people on Twitter if they do not follow you back? If you do, why does this matter to you? (I follow people I found interesting, and mostly I don't worry if they follow back, unless I have several @replies back and forth, thats different.)
If I follow someone on Twitter before they follow me, it's because I find them interesting, not because I expect them to follow me back. I don't worry about it.

However, if someone follows me on Twitter and then unfollows me, I unfollow them the moment I find out. I get offended that way.


What's your most effective "pickup" line when testing the waters with a possible closeted candidate. For example, if you meet a cute, married guy, what's a "hook" phrase that has high yield for you?
I am not usually in the habit of trying to get closeted married guys to try to have sex with me. The ones that want to, usually contact me first. I'm also not fond of pickup lines. I usually find that "Hey. You're really attractive, you know?" works just fine.

However, I've been on the hook end of many a fishing expedition. The most common way that guys have attempted to see if I play on their team is to ask where I hang out, followed by the casual mention of a gay or gay-friendly bar or restaurant or two.

If you attempt this method, you might not want to mention the most notorious gay hotspot you know. Saying, "Say, ever hung out at the Manhole?" might scare off your potential interest.


Okay you have a Friend who is dying and they are not your type, but you find out that their dying wish is to make love with you before you die would you do it? and why or why not?
This sounds suspiciously like the question I had asking whether I'd sleep with a reader whose dying wish was to sleep with me, and my answer is pretty much the same: I don't think that anyone appreciates or enjoys pity sex, particularly when the pity arises from that particular situation.

Besides, I think that someone with only a little time to live would have a priority shift of a major kind, and I suspect sex with me wouldn't be on the list.


So Im A Huge Fan With Your Blog How Do I Get To Be A Man In One Of Your Stories?
Thanks very much. I'm willing to meet new guys if there's mutual attraction, but you'd have to be visiting my area, and I'd have to see what you look like, in advance.


Do you find many of the young guys who approach you are hustlers looking for a generous older man with either cash or drugs?
While I have had younger guys hit me up for money, it's happened only a couple of times. Most them just want the dick.

I've had more young guys offer to pay me, than I have had young guys demand I pay them.


Do you ever approach younger guys? Do you often get rude replies?
The younger guys tend to approach me.

Online, at least, usually the younger guys who are predisposed to rudeness are rude in their profile, and almost always have messages stating "NO ONE OVER 35!!!!" or something similar. I wouldn't consider getting with these guys even if they asked me--and they very often do.


i want you to video tape me breeding you and post it on xtube.
You'd really have to be pretty persuasive for that one to happen. I haven't been topped successfully in about eight years.


Can you recomend a blog to follow? i like pics and stuff but i love reading about someones sexual experiences.
My blog's not enough for you? Dang, that's cold! (I'm kidding.)

I've recommended some other sites in my blog in the past--it should be easy enough to find the tags for them. I also recommend looking at the 'blogs I follow' links in my sidebar.

Unfortunately, a couple of the ones I've recommended on the blog haven't had any new material added to them lately, which makes me wonder how real the stories behind them were to begin with. There's one I wouldn't recommend any longer simply because I find the blogger hostile. The rest, however, should be interesting to you.