Sunday Morning Questions: That Goofy Grin Edition

I used to live in a place where, in March, the weather actually seemed spring-like. Not so here. Instead of above-freezing temperatures and crocuses poking their heads up from the ground, I'm staring out at another three inches of snow that fell Saturday night.

Great fun, these northern climes.

I have about a week's worth of sexual activity to catch up on, after this week's reflection on my Blogiversary ballooned into a longer series of essays than I anticipated. Tomorrow, though, we'll be having a guest blogger. And today we'll be doing the usual thing with questions from formspring.me. You know the drill by now. Head over there. Ask me some provocative questions, and see if I have anything interesting to say, would ya?


Do you think money is important?
I tend not to think it's the most important aspect of life. But my bill collectors do.


Don't you ever feel bad that you are carrying on with all these men, potentially receiving various STDs (I'm sure you have HPV by now, it's simply improbable that you don't), while your wife doesn't know? Don't you ever feel bad? Don't be a pussy, answer.
Merely because a site allows anonymity doesn't mean you should abuse the privilege by being a dick and calling someone names, or throwing your prejudices at him.

Your question is laden with judgment and assumptions—assumptions about sexually-transmitted diseases and their transmission, about my health, my relationships, and my state of mind. Not all of your assumptions are correct, or even close.

The pussy here is you, for acting like a bully.


You are, in all honesty, the shit. :)
I know, right?!

(I'm assuming this is a compliment, by the way.)



How old is the oldest virgin you ever had? Like, any 40 (or older) year old virgins?
That's an interesting question. I know that I gave a guy in his early fifties his very first top experience (his first anal experience, period), about a decade ago. I don't think that's what you're asking, though.

I think the oldest bottom virgin I've had was a guy who had a reputation as a pretty hard-hitting top. He was in his late thirties when I fucked him for the first time. He claimed he was a virgin. From the tightness of his hole, I have no reason to doubt him.

I was also the first-time fuck of a guy who was part of a married couple I was seeing. He was 35 his first time.


Man, I love your smile. Can you post more pictures of your adorable grin just for me?
Have you seen this one? Or how about this?


Do you have problems taking compliments?
I do indeed. Does it show? Usually I attempt to thank people nicely without attempting to make the compliment-giver feel badly for having said anything.


"Gaydar"... Is it a myth?
On the contrary, I think some people are very, very good at reading the signals that indicate a man's interest in other men.

Instead of things like effeminate characteristics, however, gaydar is a matter of reading the guy's body language, the places his eyes travels, the way he responds to the presence of others. It's a subtle art.


How old were you when you realized your cock was turning out a lot bigger than average?
I was about seven and a half inches when I was 14. That would be when I glanced down between my legs while sucking dick in a marathon session at the park and realized that I was already longer than most of the grown men I was blowing, and bigger than anyone in my family as well.

At that age my dick was still a lot thinner, though. I didn't get to about my full size until I was sixteen.


I'm good at massages... can I give you an all-over with my tongue?
Man, I wish you would. I love and crave that kind of treatment, and get it so damned rarely.


What do you construe as cheating?
Every relationship has its own rules.

In relationships in which the partners have agreed to remain monogamous, cheating might consist of any sexual advances or contact with any other people. In a relationship in which the couple has agreed to play with other individuals together, but not on their own, cheating may consist of seeing someone without the partner's consent. In a relationship in which anything goes, but the partners agree to tell each other everything, cheating may consist of withholding details of an encounter.

Cheating's definition varies from couple to couple, and depends on what the couple has defined as its limits and boundaries. I don't hold to an absolute definition of the word that applies to everyone in every situation.