As a lot of you already know, I spent yesterday afternoon nuts-deep in one of my readers. Since I spent all afternoon and a good chunk of the evening with him, I didn't get much of a chance to write an entry for today. I'm hoping you'll all forgive me, though, when I share a few photos of the encounter with you.
For the record, the lucky recipient of my 10-day load was Franco, whom we'd all seen before in the entry entitled Attention Seeker. He definitely will be getting more of my attention in the future. I was pushing these photos out onto Twitter as I was taking them. I never knew that uploading a photo while rimming could be so complicated. That's multitasking for you. And a sign of true devotion to my (piggy) readers, of course.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday Morning Questions: 10-Day Load Edition
Yep. As you might have grasped from the title of this week's outing, it's been ten days since I shot a load.
Ten. Whole. Days. Which in Breeder Time is something like seven years.
It's not as if originally I intended to go for so long without ejaculating. It's true that since my teens I've never been the kind of guy who felt compelled to masturbate several times a day, or even daily. I prefer my orgasms to come not from my hand, but from interaction with other people. So while at times in my sexual history that means I've been fucking and shooting at least once a day, if not more even more, there have been other periods in which the action's been a little slower. Like, the entire period in which I've lived in my new state.
So the last time I shot a load was with the Latin boy from In the Leaves. A day or three passed. I made arrangements to get together with someone with whom I've been acquainted for about five years, at this point. His place in the city was going to be free, and he wanted me to come visit and giving him a fucking he'd remember. We agreed to meet Thursday. Well, I thought to myself. Maybe he'd get a kick out having a seven-day load in that hole of his. That'd be an appropriate way to show him how much I've anticipated finally meeting him, wouldn't it?
I could do seven days, I figured. I've done seven days before. It wasn't easy. But I buckled down, got busy, and kept away from temptation until Wednesday night. That's when my friend called and asked if he could get a rain check on our date. I was disappointed, naturally, but the guy was a real class act about it, so I couldn't have any hard feelings.
What I could've done is whacked one out right then, just to get rid of all the tension. It does get tense down there, when I'm not getting regularly laid, or even masturbating. When I sleep at night, my dick is hard the entire time—and not just hard, but red and raging and so aching that I spend all night thrusting it into the mattress and dampening the sheets with pre-cum. When I wake up, it's sore. (And no, before you ask, I've never had a nocturnal emission in my life.)
What I did do, however, was immediately make another date with someone I've been meaning to meet for a few months, now. You guys have seen him in here before, and you'll get the details after we fuck. But I thought to myself as I made that date, Yeah, it's even more appropriate that this one, when we meet on Sunday, could get a ten-day load as his first seed from me. I can do three more days, right?
Well. Let me tell you. The extra three days have been the hardest of my life. Pun intended.
It seems like once I made that decision and promise to get to ten days—which very well may be a record in my adult life, I don't know—the forces of the universe conspired to get me to break that vow. Dry as Connecticut has been sexually since last June, suddenly it became sodden with sexual offers. Guys I'd never seen before were crawling out of the woodwork. All of them had places to host. All of them were available at the times that best suited my vagrant's schedule.
Worse still, all of them wanted to do every perverse act in my repertoire. There wasn't a single deviant sexual deed proscribed by the Catholic Church or the National Legion for Decency that wasn't tossed at my feet. And the only thing I could do was walk away. And whimper. I did a lot of whimpering.
So, mister. You know who you are. If you're reading this, and i'm pretty sure you will, know what a very, very, very long ten days this has been—and do me a favor, after you milk out my seed. Don't make me do it again.
Let's get to some questions from formspring.me (and if you're a newer reader, feel free to use the service, anonymously or not, to ask me your questions).
Felching. Yes or No
Oh yes. If the guy's hole is clean and attractive, very much yes.
Do you think you could have any kids you're not aware of?
It is entirely possible.
If you use a Krispy Kreme donut (for those who don't know what this is, it is a small peice of heaven, light dough with a sweet glazing) as the bun for your double cheeseburger, do you call it breakfast or lunch?
I call it delicious, because it really is a good combo.
Do you believe 3 or more people can have a serious, committed exclusive mental, physical and intimate relationship?
I've known people in triads who've had very stable long-term relationships. I don't think I could be in one of those arrangements, but I know many people wouldn't want to be in mine, either.
Do you still think about your exlover(s) from time to time?
I always try to honor the people who meant something important in my life—particularly those who gave themselves to me in body and in spirit.
Would this be your moto? "If you breed, make sure you seed"
It's a good motto, to be sure.
Do you go to bars/clubs? If so do you dance and drink or are you there for the chance of meeting someone/ hooking up?
I go to bars. I've rarely been to a bar solely for the reason of picking someone up, though—there are easier, faster, and less frustrating ways to do that. Typically when I go to a bar it's for the purpose of socializing, or getting out of the house, or just hanging out with friends and meeting new people.
What subject would you NEVER discuss on a first date with a cutey?
Politics and religion. If I were making suggestions of what to avoid, I'd recommend that guys not talk about how lonely they are and how much they've longed for a soulmate, and how most guys are fakes and phonies. It's a little bit of a needy turn-off when I've had those things brought up too early in an aquaintanceship.
Since you're in a committed relationship, why choose to have an open relationship? What purpose does it serve, other than getting your rocks off, and do you believe it is strengthening the relationship, overall?
When you ask your question in this way, you betray a bias. What's wrong with getting one's rocks off? Why is enjoying sex a bad thing? If you're so quick to dismiss and trivialize a fundamental enjoyment of life and one of its most fulfilling aspects, you're going to be even quicker to dismiss any arguments I make in its favor.
How would you ask the question "Since you're in a committed relationship, why choose to have an open relationship? What purpose does it serve, other than getting your rocks off, and do you believe it is strengthening the relationship, overall?" and answer it?
That's actually a good question. Thanks for trying again.
I would ask the question without the parts that give away bias and that are judgmental, because the only purpose they serve is to put the recipient of your question on the defense. Even a choice of phrases like 'getting your rocks off' indicates (to my ears, anyway) that you tend to think of sex as something crude and toss-away, perhaps even something to be joked about. When you ask what 'purpose' sex serves, it tells me you compartmentalize your sexual nature and don't see it as an integrated part of your everyday life, and that you try to keep it out of your everyday affairs.
These things may or may not apply to you, but that's what I hear when you ask the question in such a way. Even if they are true, you need to accept that others are not of the same mindset. i see sex as something to be celebrated and enjoyed, though it can be difficult and tricky—and yes, even funny. It's very much a part of my life, with a purpose of enriching it.
Every relationship has its own story. Many couples in open relationships simply don't expect, for a variety of reasons, the other person to have to meet all their sexual needs. They might enjoy the recreational aspect of sex, and have a relationship strong enough in which jealousy does not play a major role. They might not physically be able to fulfill certain needs for each other. Or they might even regard sex in the light most people regard friendship—we don't ask our mates to give up all other friends when we form a couple, so why should we ask them to give up all physical contact?
For couples who are wide-eyed and honest about their desires and how they configure their relationship, it's always going to be stronger overall. Open or closed.
The point is that every relationship is different. You might not understand every single one, but it's not your relationship. You don't have to. If you want fidelity in a relationship, find someone to whom you'll be faithful. If you want a partner who'll never cheat on you, search for one.
But you need to remember that what you want is not always what other couples want. Your way is not the right way, and you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the priorities and arrangements of others in a dismissive manner.
Ten. Whole. Days. Which in Breeder Time is something like seven years.
It's not as if originally I intended to go for so long without ejaculating. It's true that since my teens I've never been the kind of guy who felt compelled to masturbate several times a day, or even daily. I prefer my orgasms to come not from my hand, but from interaction with other people. So while at times in my sexual history that means I've been fucking and shooting at least once a day, if not more even more, there have been other periods in which the action's been a little slower. Like, the entire period in which I've lived in my new state.
So the last time I shot a load was with the Latin boy from In the Leaves. A day or three passed. I made arrangements to get together with someone with whom I've been acquainted for about five years, at this point. His place in the city was going to be free, and he wanted me to come visit and giving him a fucking he'd remember. We agreed to meet Thursday. Well, I thought to myself. Maybe he'd get a kick out having a seven-day load in that hole of his. That'd be an appropriate way to show him how much I've anticipated finally meeting him, wouldn't it?
I could do seven days, I figured. I've done seven days before. It wasn't easy. But I buckled down, got busy, and kept away from temptation until Wednesday night. That's when my friend called and asked if he could get a rain check on our date. I was disappointed, naturally, but the guy was a real class act about it, so I couldn't have any hard feelings.
What I could've done is whacked one out right then, just to get rid of all the tension. It does get tense down there, when I'm not getting regularly laid, or even masturbating. When I sleep at night, my dick is hard the entire time—and not just hard, but red and raging and so aching that I spend all night thrusting it into the mattress and dampening the sheets with pre-cum. When I wake up, it's sore. (And no, before you ask, I've never had a nocturnal emission in my life.)
What I did do, however, was immediately make another date with someone I've been meaning to meet for a few months, now. You guys have seen him in here before, and you'll get the details after we fuck. But I thought to myself as I made that date, Yeah, it's even more appropriate that this one, when we meet on Sunday, could get a ten-day load as his first seed from me. I can do three more days, right?
Well. Let me tell you. The extra three days have been the hardest of my life. Pun intended.
It seems like once I made that decision and promise to get to ten days—which very well may be a record in my adult life, I don't know—the forces of the universe conspired to get me to break that vow. Dry as Connecticut has been sexually since last June, suddenly it became sodden with sexual offers. Guys I'd never seen before were crawling out of the woodwork. All of them had places to host. All of them were available at the times that best suited my vagrant's schedule.
Worse still, all of them wanted to do every perverse act in my repertoire. There wasn't a single deviant sexual deed proscribed by the Catholic Church or the National Legion for Decency that wasn't tossed at my feet. And the only thing I could do was walk away. And whimper. I did a lot of whimpering.
So, mister. You know who you are. If you're reading this, and i'm pretty sure you will, know what a very, very, very long ten days this has been—and do me a favor, after you milk out my seed. Don't make me do it again.
Let's get to some questions from formspring.me (and if you're a newer reader, feel free to use the service, anonymously or not, to ask me your questions).
Felching. Yes or No
Oh yes. If the guy's hole is clean and attractive, very much yes.
Do you think you could have any kids you're not aware of?
It is entirely possible.
If you use a Krispy Kreme donut (for those who don't know what this is, it is a small peice of heaven, light dough with a sweet glazing) as the bun for your double cheeseburger, do you call it breakfast or lunch?
I call it delicious, because it really is a good combo.
Do you believe 3 or more people can have a serious, committed exclusive mental, physical and intimate relationship?
I've known people in triads who've had very stable long-term relationships. I don't think I could be in one of those arrangements, but I know many people wouldn't want to be in mine, either.
Do you still think about your exlover(s) from time to time?
I always try to honor the people who meant something important in my life—particularly those who gave themselves to me in body and in spirit.
Would this be your moto? "If you breed, make sure you seed"
It's a good motto, to be sure.
Do you go to bars/clubs? If so do you dance and drink or are you there for the chance of meeting someone/ hooking up?
I go to bars. I've rarely been to a bar solely for the reason of picking someone up, though—there are easier, faster, and less frustrating ways to do that. Typically when I go to a bar it's for the purpose of socializing, or getting out of the house, or just hanging out with friends and meeting new people.
What subject would you NEVER discuss on a first date with a cutey?
Politics and religion. If I were making suggestions of what to avoid, I'd recommend that guys not talk about how lonely they are and how much they've longed for a soulmate, and how most guys are fakes and phonies. It's a little bit of a needy turn-off when I've had those things brought up too early in an aquaintanceship.
Since you're in a committed relationship, why choose to have an open relationship? What purpose does it serve, other than getting your rocks off, and do you believe it is strengthening the relationship, overall?
When you ask your question in this way, you betray a bias. What's wrong with getting one's rocks off? Why is enjoying sex a bad thing? If you're so quick to dismiss and trivialize a fundamental enjoyment of life and one of its most fulfilling aspects, you're going to be even quicker to dismiss any arguments I make in its favor.
How would you ask the question "Since you're in a committed relationship, why choose to have an open relationship? What purpose does it serve, other than getting your rocks off, and do you believe it is strengthening the relationship, overall?" and answer it?
That's actually a good question. Thanks for trying again.
I would ask the question without the parts that give away bias and that are judgmental, because the only purpose they serve is to put the recipient of your question on the defense. Even a choice of phrases like 'getting your rocks off' indicates (to my ears, anyway) that you tend to think of sex as something crude and toss-away, perhaps even something to be joked about. When you ask what 'purpose' sex serves, it tells me you compartmentalize your sexual nature and don't see it as an integrated part of your everyday life, and that you try to keep it out of your everyday affairs.
These things may or may not apply to you, but that's what I hear when you ask the question in such a way. Even if they are true, you need to accept that others are not of the same mindset. i see sex as something to be celebrated and enjoyed, though it can be difficult and tricky—and yes, even funny. It's very much a part of my life, with a purpose of enriching it.
Every relationship has its own story. Many couples in open relationships simply don't expect, for a variety of reasons, the other person to have to meet all their sexual needs. They might enjoy the recreational aspect of sex, and have a relationship strong enough in which jealousy does not play a major role. They might not physically be able to fulfill certain needs for each other. Or they might even regard sex in the light most people regard friendship—we don't ask our mates to give up all other friends when we form a couple, so why should we ask them to give up all physical contact?
For couples who are wide-eyed and honest about their desires and how they configure their relationship, it's always going to be stronger overall. Open or closed.
The point is that every relationship is different. You might not understand every single one, but it's not your relationship. You don't have to. If you want fidelity in a relationship, find someone to whom you'll be faithful. If you want a partner who'll never cheat on you, search for one.
But you need to remember that what you want is not always what other couples want. Your way is not the right way, and you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the priorities and arrangements of others in a dismissive manner.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Reader Assets: #21
And we're still going strong, with this semi-regular feature in which I feature—solely for your salivation and sexual pleasure—the photographs of readers who've chosen to share them.
Now, I have a lot of readers. (For some reason, this week in particular, I have a LOT of readers.) So many readers, in fact, that if even only ten percent of them sent in a photo or two, I could have a whole freakin' Reader's Assets blog. Which I'm not planning, by the way. Don't worry. I like gabbing about myself too much for that.
The point is, if you haven't yet sent in photographs for the feature, consider it! You can show as much or as little as you like. There's no requirement to show us the parts of yourself you'd rather keep secret, like your face or your pimply kneecaps. We want to see the parts you're proud of, whether it's your pert little butt, your ginormous dick, or the feet made shapely after decades of tortuous Chinese binding. (Okay, I could probably skip seeing the latter.)
Simply submit photographs of yourself to my email address, which is available over there on the sidebar of my blog's main page. All I ask is that you label the email with the words MY ASSETS, be of an age to share such things, and assure me that the photographs are of you, and not some random porn actor . . . unless you are a random porn actor, of course.
I'm near the bottom of my small collection of photos, so hear my pleas and show me your junk!
Let's get started with this week's batch.
Anonymous D.
This particular reader wished to remain anonymous. I suspect his motivation arose from the recognition that once these photos got out there, men would be beating down his door if they knew who he was.
Anonymous D., I told you this when you sent these in, but it bears repeating: I love your ass. It's small. It's squeezable. It's round. It's fucking perfect. I love that shot of you on the bed with your big ol' feet pointed at the camera and your ass raised in the air for mounting. But you know what really drives me wild? All those scratch marks on your back in the first photo. I'm imagining they got there from your fucks clawing away with passion as you drove in them.
Yes, my mind works like that. I need a cold shower.
Anonymous K.
Remember that underwear I modeled a couple of weeks ago, that one of my readers purchased for me? Anonymous K. was the kind donor.
And you know what? I think the underwear would look a lot hotter on him. I mean, look at that ass. It's fuckin' beautiful. And hairy! I love it. A couple of my readers have surprised me by saying they thought I only loved smooth asses. I posit that they haven't been paying attention, because whenever someone sends in a furry butt crack for the the Reader Assets column, I start raving like a lustful madman.
And you guys should see the rest of him! (I have. Maybe if you give K. enough compliments, he'll be prompted to share some more of himself.) Anonymous K., you're a hot, hot man.
Jelle
Now, young Jelle has been with us before, in Reader Assets #18. He shared some pretty spectacular photos with us then, but he's outdone himself with this batch.
I mean, look. He jerks off on the dildo.
He shoots on the dildo.
Then he fucks himself with his own load.
It basically sells itself, doesn't it?
The cum shot alone is worth a million bucks. I say we give him a lot of compliments here so we can see what else his dirty little mind comes up with.
Tyler
I've got to say: Tyler's got it going on. Hot ass. Hot dick. Hot body. He's a master of the over-the-shoulder ass shot. And I don't know how he managed to get that first shot, with his legs lifted in the air (I like those socks, by the way!), but it's a classic.
You can just look at Tyler's photos and tell he's a good-looking stud, can't you? Tyler, I hope you're versatile, because I suspect there are as many guys out there who'd like a shot at that dick, as much as they want your hole.
I know which end I want.
Let's hear it for all our Reader Assets contributors this week. It takes a bit of courage (and maybe a shot or two of tequila) to muster up the nerve to share intimate shots like these—so let's all show our appreciation with a big round of virtual applause in the comments.
And remember: I want to feature you in this column, next time.
Now, I have a lot of readers. (For some reason, this week in particular, I have a LOT of readers.) So many readers, in fact, that if even only ten percent of them sent in a photo or two, I could have a whole freakin' Reader's Assets blog. Which I'm not planning, by the way. Don't worry. I like gabbing about myself too much for that.
The point is, if you haven't yet sent in photographs for the feature, consider it! You can show as much or as little as you like. There's no requirement to show us the parts of yourself you'd rather keep secret, like your face or your pimply kneecaps. We want to see the parts you're proud of, whether it's your pert little butt, your ginormous dick, or the feet made shapely after decades of tortuous Chinese binding. (Okay, I could probably skip seeing the latter.)
Simply submit photographs of yourself to my email address, which is available over there on the sidebar of my blog's main page. All I ask is that you label the email with the words MY ASSETS, be of an age to share such things, and assure me that the photographs are of you, and not some random porn actor . . . unless you are a random porn actor, of course.
I'm near the bottom of my small collection of photos, so hear my pleas and show me your junk!
Let's get started with this week's batch.
Anonymous D.
This particular reader wished to remain anonymous. I suspect his motivation arose from the recognition that once these photos got out there, men would be beating down his door if they knew who he was.
Anonymous D., I told you this when you sent these in, but it bears repeating: I love your ass. It's small. It's squeezable. It's round. It's fucking perfect. I love that shot of you on the bed with your big ol' feet pointed at the camera and your ass raised in the air for mounting. But you know what really drives me wild? All those scratch marks on your back in the first photo. I'm imagining they got there from your fucks clawing away with passion as you drove in them.
Yes, my mind works like that. I need a cold shower.
Anonymous K.
Remember that underwear I modeled a couple of weeks ago, that one of my readers purchased for me? Anonymous K. was the kind donor.
And you know what? I think the underwear would look a lot hotter on him. I mean, look at that ass. It's fuckin' beautiful. And hairy! I love it. A couple of my readers have surprised me by saying they thought I only loved smooth asses. I posit that they haven't been paying attention, because whenever someone sends in a furry butt crack for the the Reader Assets column, I start raving like a lustful madman.
And you guys should see the rest of him! (I have. Maybe if you give K. enough compliments, he'll be prompted to share some more of himself.) Anonymous K., you're a hot, hot man.
Jelle
Now, young Jelle has been with us before, in Reader Assets #18. He shared some pretty spectacular photos with us then, but he's outdone himself with this batch.
I mean, look. He jerks off on the dildo.
He shoots on the dildo.
Then he fucks himself with his own load.
It basically sells itself, doesn't it?
The cum shot alone is worth a million bucks. I say we give him a lot of compliments here so we can see what else his dirty little mind comes up with.
Tyler
I've got to say: Tyler's got it going on. Hot ass. Hot dick. Hot body. He's a master of the over-the-shoulder ass shot. And I don't know how he managed to get that first shot, with his legs lifted in the air (I like those socks, by the way!), but it's a classic.
You can just look at Tyler's photos and tell he's a good-looking stud, can't you? Tyler, I hope you're versatile, because I suspect there are as many guys out there who'd like a shot at that dick, as much as they want your hole.
I know which end I want.
Let's hear it for all our Reader Assets contributors this week. It takes a bit of courage (and maybe a shot or two of tequila) to muster up the nerve to share intimate shots like these—so let's all show our appreciation with a big round of virtual applause in the comments.
And remember: I want to feature you in this column, next time.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Hot Off the iPhone
Text messages from the landscaper I've received in the past week.
Tuesday
HIM: what r u wearing toddy
ME: Toddy? Who the fuck is Toddy?
HIM: today lol
ME: Jeans. A dress shirt. Boots.
HIM: you dress really well
ME: I never notice what I put on.
(Note: That's a whopper.)
Wednesday
HIM: so what are you wearing today
ME: Who are you, Michael Kors or something?
HIM: what?
ME: You're always asking me what I'm wearing.
HIM: because I like thinking about you taking it off
HIM: does it turn you on knowing that a straight man cant get his mind off you
HIM: ??
ME: Guys don't really do anything for me. (Note: Another whopper.)
HIM: me neither
HIM: except you 4 some reason
Thursday
HIM: promise not 2 ask what youre wearing
HIM: but i bet it looks good
HIM: no answer huh
HIM: so does that mean youve got nothing on? lol
Friday
HIM: sorry if i bugged u yesterday
ME: I had stuff to do in the city.
HIM: how many times did u fuck ur woman this week
ME: Is that really your business, dude?
HIM: i like thinking about where ur dicks been
HIM: i like thinking about ur dick
HIM: is that queer?
ME: That's pretty much what queer is.
Saturday
HIM: so have u ever let a guy suck you off
ME: Are you a cocksucker??
HIM: no no no
HIM: never done it
HIM: like never, 4 real
HIM: yours makes me want to
HIM: hope that doesn't sound sick
ME: Guys don't turn me on the same way that chicks do.
HIM: no i totally get that dude
HIM: kinda guess thats one of the things that makes me want it with u
HIM: just a suggestion
Sunday
HIM: did u think about it?
HIM: i'll give u extra
HIM: it doesnt make us gay if we do it for $$
ME: That's what you think, huh?
HIM: it doesnt
HIM: really
Monday
HIM: $100
HIM: extra
HIM: all u gotta do is kick back and let me
ME: What if I don't get hard for a guy that way?
HIM: so u r interested then
HIM: i got x videos on dvd and a portable player
HIM: i even got some of me and the wife, think that could turn u on
ME: I don't know.
HIM: i like that u only do it for $$
HIM: more manly
Tuesday
HIM: did u think about it?
HIM: its just one dude helpin another out
HIM: and giving him a lil gas money lol
ME: I don't know.
HIM: sounds gay but i gotta taste that dick
HIM: all u gotta type is ok and i will be the happiest dude
HIM: if not i promise 2 leave u alone
ME (several hours later): Ok.
HIM: yippee!
Wednesday
HIM: wait yesterday when u said ok did u mean ok i can suck u or ok i should leave u alone?
HIM: im a confused dude!
Tuesday
HIM: what r u wearing toddy
ME: Toddy? Who the fuck is Toddy?
HIM: today lol
ME: Jeans. A dress shirt. Boots.
HIM: you dress really well
ME: I never notice what I put on.
(Note: That's a whopper.)
Wednesday
HIM: so what are you wearing today
ME: Who are you, Michael Kors or something?
HIM: what?
ME: You're always asking me what I'm wearing.
HIM: because I like thinking about you taking it off
HIM: does it turn you on knowing that a straight man cant get his mind off you
HIM: ??
ME: Guys don't really do anything for me. (Note: Another whopper.)
HIM: me neither
HIM: except you 4 some reason
Thursday
HIM: promise not 2 ask what youre wearing
HIM: but i bet it looks good
HIM: no answer huh
HIM: so does that mean youve got nothing on? lol
Friday
HIM: sorry if i bugged u yesterday
ME: I had stuff to do in the city.
HIM: how many times did u fuck ur woman this week
ME: Is that really your business, dude?
HIM: i like thinking about where ur dicks been
HIM: i like thinking about ur dick
HIM: is that queer?
ME: That's pretty much what queer is.
Saturday
HIM: so have u ever let a guy suck you off
ME: Are you a cocksucker??
HIM: no no no
HIM: never done it
HIM: like never, 4 real
HIM: yours makes me want to
HIM: hope that doesn't sound sick
ME: Guys don't turn me on the same way that chicks do.
HIM: no i totally get that dude
HIM: kinda guess thats one of the things that makes me want it with u
HIM: just a suggestion
Sunday
HIM: did u think about it?
HIM: i'll give u extra
HIM: it doesnt make us gay if we do it for $$
ME: That's what you think, huh?
HIM: it doesnt
HIM: really
Monday
HIM: $100
HIM: extra
HIM: all u gotta do is kick back and let me
ME: What if I don't get hard for a guy that way?
HIM: so u r interested then
HIM: i got x videos on dvd and a portable player
HIM: i even got some of me and the wife, think that could turn u on
ME: I don't know.
HIM: i like that u only do it for $$
HIM: more manly
Tuesday
HIM: did u think about it?
HIM: its just one dude helpin another out
HIM: and giving him a lil gas money lol
ME: I don't know.
HIM: sounds gay but i gotta taste that dick
HIM: all u gotta type is ok and i will be the happiest dude
HIM: if not i promise 2 leave u alone
ME (several hours later): Ok.
HIM: yippee!
Wednesday
HIM: wait yesterday when u said ok did u mean ok i can suck u or ok i should leave u alone?
HIM: im a confused dude!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
#14
During the early evenings of Virginia’s winter months, steel-blue light would filter through the slotted wooden blinds of the semi-circular hall in the state capitol building. It was a reminder of the chill outside, in that overheated chamber where we teenaged pages sat on a hard wooden bench, ready to be summoned. In our gray slacks, crisp white shirts, and blue blazers, we gazed at the little electrical call board embedded in the partition in front of us, waiting for one of the state senators to alert us with the flick of a switch and the blinking light that would follow. Whoever sat in the hot seat at the bench’s far end would jump to his feet and scamper to be of help. The rest of us would slide down and await our inevitable turn.
We’d been picked as pages because our parents knew people in the government, or knew people who knew people. In return for mornings scrambling to collate the day’s bills and amendments for the senators, and for the long afternoons sitting drowsily on the benches, waiting to be useful to someone while the government ground on at a glacier’s pace, we were able to skip three and a half months of school and have a substantial tick mark for our college resumes. All of us were scrubbed and perky and—by late seventies standards—briskly groomed.
My mother was heavily involved in politics—she definitely knew people. Despite the fact I did nothing of any real note to obtain the position, all my teachers at school kept telling me what an honor it was that I got to work at the state capitol every day. Earl had seen me in my page jacket and declared me handsome, dressed. For the first time, I felt like I was doing something important, instead of biding time in a classroom. It was a fairly exciting prospect.
But it was boring. Oh good lord, were the long days ever boring. Grateful as I was from a release from the tenth grade and the Algebra II that accompanied it, having to sit in that echoing vast chamber, day after day, in that blazer and slacks, listening to old men ramble on and on about subjects in which I had no interest, made me want to rip off my clip-on tie and run away yelling. For all its tediousness, at least church only lasted an hour. In the senate, there was no telling when some of the more rancorous sessions might end, or whether Richmond's streetlights would have bloomed on against the night sky when the fat, ancient master of the pages finally decreed we could leave.
So sometimes, late in the afternoon or early in the evening, I would sit at the bench’s far end, praying for someone to flick their switch and interrupt the tedium. Or I would find myself alone on the hard wooden plank while all the other pages were off on our everyday errands.
And then the light from desk #14 would illuminate.
Senator #14 hailed from the western tip of Virginia, one of those municipalities that no one in the state’s population center really knew or ever intended to visit. He was a married man with no children. Mildly attractive. Masculine. The average age of the Virginia state senators was a hefty seventy, but #14, in his mid to late forties, was a comparative spring chicken. He was comparatively trouble-free, too. Other senators might buzz their lights at the slightest whim, instructing us to fetch their glasses, or tell their aides to call their wives, or to run down to the little sandwich shop and buy Pepto-Bismol. The only time #14 ever seemed to want anything, though, was when I was alone, or in the hot seat at the bench’s end.
“Sugar, would you get me a Mickey Mouse?” he’d ask most times, pressing a five-dollar bill into my hand. Sugar, of course, as well as honey, was one of those old Virginian forms of address used between all genders and ages. Neither was reserved exclusively for the young or the feminine.
The Mickey Mouse was an injection-created ice cream treat on a stick—chocolate ears and vanilla face with a strawberry pink nose at the center that looked vaguely like its namesake. Even my gleefully undiscriminating palate dismissed the Mickey Mouse as too juvenile to seriously consider eating, but if the senator wanted a Mickey Mouse, my job was to run downstairs, avoid tourists gawping at the marble-laden public areas, and duck into the tiny sandwich shop to grab a Mickey Mouse from the freezer.
I’d return to the upstairs chamber slightly out of breath, but trying to keep my faint huffs from disturbing the senate’s sanctity. He’d take the ice cream. When I’d proffer the three dollars plus change from his original bill, he’d inevitably reach out, close my fingers around the money, and cover my hand with his before giving it a firm squeeze. “Keep the change, sugar,” he’d say. “It’s yours.”
During the weeks after our occasional late-afternoon Mickey Mouse routine was firmly established, I’d sometimes find Senator #14 smiling at me from his seat on the semi-circle’s perimeter. Leaning back in his chair, playing with a pen, he’d give me conspiratorial glances during the long afternoons, seeming to say, This is as rough on me as it is on you, kid. Or, Jeez, can this guy go on and on, or what?
The Senator had the advantage of being seen only by the Lieutenant Governor, whoever was speaking, and a few factotums and pages at the front; I, however, had to keep a bland and disciplined expression for the benefit of all the senators, the spectators in the upper gallery, and the press at the tables directly in front. When he’d mug and secretly try to make me laugh or smile, I’d have to pretend not to see him.
Though of course I did.
I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t naively romantic about the workings of the state government, nor did I believe that the special attention I got from Senator #14 was because he saw some unique talent in me. The only aptitude of mine he’d witnessed was an ability to run fast and to distinguish between the Mickey Mouse bare and a Fudgesicle. I knew the probable reason a man of his age would pay that kind of attention to a boy of mine. Every time I’d see his attractive face looking my way, I’d feel a quickening in my pants.
But honestly, what didn’t give me erections, back then?
It was early in February, during a particularly protracted debate on a particularly dull topic, that I was alone on the bench. Light #14 blinked on. As usual, I trotted over to the man’s desk and knelt down so that I could hear his instructions. “Could you go to the printing office and request these?” He handed me a scribbled list of bills. “I was going to duck out for a few so I could review them. Maybe you could bring the packet up to my office?” The request was smooth, but it made my heart thud almost too loud to hear his next words. “Bring them directly to me. If you don't mind.”
I looked briefly into his eyes. They bored into mine.
At last, when some of the blood cleared from my head, I nodded and looked away. “Good boy,” he said, patting me on the shoulder.
It still felt as if my heart thudded in overdrive as I made my way out of the capitol building and across the street to the administrative high-rise where most of the representatives’ offices were. The printing office was in the basement; they were used to pages showing up with long lists of bills to be retrieved. While I waited, I sat in the chair there and thought about what I felt sure was going to happen, upstairs.
I could hope that his aides might be around. I could play dumb. I could duck out with a quick and convenient excuse, avoiding chit-chat with the senator.
I could say no. I’d always known that no was an option, that I had a say in the matter.
Bills in hand, I took the elevator to the senator’s floor. As I walked down the silent hallway I was even practicing my refusal, polite but firm, in case I had to arm myself with it.
“Well hey, sugar,” he said from behind his desk. In his unglamorous office, the lights were low, as if he didn’t want to dispel the gloom of the deep blue evening skies outside. He sat in his chair, slightly out of breath, as if he’d hurried to get there. His jacket was off; he’d removed his necktie. “Any problems getting those bills?” He added quickly—casually—“You can shut the door if you’d like.”
“No,” I said. Just because I knew I could say the word to him, didn’t mean I wanted to. “I mean, no, I didn’t have any problems getting the bills.”
It was the last no I said that evening.
I closed the door behind me, and listened to it latch. His trench coat, hung on a hook, still seemed to radiate cold from his trip across the street. “Well, good,” he said softly, rising to his feet after a long, long moment. He crossed the room. “I’m glad to hear it.”
The tips of his fingers were icy as he reached out with one hand to tilt my chin upward, very slightly. I didn't resist. Then, with the other, he tugged gently at my shirt collar, lifting up and off the abhorred clip-on tie. Both his hands fumbled with my top button, then the ones beneath. “That’s got to be a relief. Now, doesn't it?” he murmured, stepping back slightly to admire me once he'd opened my shirt.
I couldn’t deny that like most things that are inevitable, a relief is what it really was.
Monday, October 24, 2011
In the Leaves
It's a Thursday night, and I've got a few hours to myself. My duties for the day are done—I've dropped off the appropriate people to the appropriate places for the evening. The night's chilly, but the car is warm. I'm not ready to go home.
The rest stop is busy when I pull in. It's barely eight, and already the trucks are lining the entrance and exit ramps as their drivers break for the night. I can hear their motors idling as I drive by. The sound’s a giant, mechanical purr. The spaces nearest the McDonald's are filled with commuters and family cars.
But I'm heading to the back of the lot, where there are only three vehicles. They're dark on the inside, but there's just enough light streaming down from the lamps above to show me that one is empty, while the other two have solitary silhouettes within. I park between them, a few spots over from one, and across from the other.
To my left, the man in the cream sedan is pretending to sing along to music on his car radio. His lips are moving, anyway, but his head is turned in my direction. He nods. I nod back as I cut the ignition. The internal lights of my own car flick on—it's an automatic convenience, so that I can see the door latches. I'm aware that they give the men in both cars a clear look at me for a good fifteen seconds. Then they fade. I'm not going anywhere.
In the parking aisle facing mine, across from me and one space over, a white Ford truck has its nose pointed at the grille of my car. I can't see its occupant. The outline of him, dark against dark, gives the impression of maleness. My eyes read him as young—perhaps thirty or thirty-two. The truck itself is an older model. It's clean, and well-taken-care of, but it definitely was assembled a decade or more ago.
The man within is looking at me. I'm not even sure how I can tell. Watching him is like trying to track an invisible cloud against a midnight sky, when the only way of knowing of its presence is to observe what stars it obscures. Still, I can tell by the procession of his silhouettes that he's pointing his face in my direction. I tip my head, as if I'm trying to stare more intently at him—and I am. I rub my dick, and look down at it. He can't see my crotch, not from his angle. But he might be able to see the lift of my shoulder, the motion of my arm, the back-and-forth of my hand over the corduroy.
It might be working. He leans forward. His hands grasp the steering wheel. I look back and forth between the occupant of the truck, and the man in the cream-colored car. This might turn out to be one of those situations in which no one makes a move, and we all lose.
The truck's lights flick on, making me blink. He's started his ignition. When he backs out of his space, the lamp from above hits him for a moment, and I get an impression of short dark hair, a round face, clean, tight skin. He does seem like a younger guy, but it's an impression, a half-second's blur of the dark becoming light and then disappearing once again, and nothing more. I watch as the truck pulls out from its aisle and into the lane that leads past the McDonald's to the gas pumps and the exit lane. He's not leaving, though. He turns and pulls down the first aisle closest to the rest stop building, and proceeds all the way down to its furthest, and darkest, end. There he parks, and turns off his lights.
Okay. I wait a moment, and then, with my heart thumping, I follow.
I'm a little upset when I retrace the same route the truck's just taken, only to find him pulling out and past me in the opposite direction when I'm nearly at my goal. Did I mistake the cue? Was he trying to get away from me, and got pissed off when he saw me following? Did I imagine the entire thing altogether? I pull into the spot he's just vacated. I watch. He parks the truck into a space in the busy part of this aisle, and stops.
I'm confused. Then I notice that parked directly across from me is a stretch limousine. The driver's inside, talking on his cell phone, obviously killing time. Maybe the guy in my truck didn't like being so near a potential witness.
It looks like I'm right. The truck pulls out of its new space and heads back my way. It drives past, and pauses where the aisle merges into the lane that's supposed to be for trucks to take to the back lot. I turn on my ignition once more, and follow.
He takes me through the confusing maze of trucks snaked into their spaces. I wonder if he's looking for a space at the back of this lot, but no. We're heading to the exit. Past the idling haulers we both go, onto the ramp, merging with the highway traffic. The next exit is just ahead; his right blinker turns on.
A moment later, mine mirrors his.
I don't know this neighborhood. I'm following him off the highway, down the service drive that runs parallel. It's pitch-black here in spots. There are no streetlights. For the first time, I wonder if I'm crazy—crazy to be following a man I haven't even seen, crazy to be driving somewhere he could rob me, assault me. The dude could be just some guy who wanted to go home, who'd think I was stalking him when I got out of my car. This whole night could've been a crazy convergence of coincidence and mixed signals.
And yet I'm so sure of what I'm doing, of what all those cues meant. I know for a fact to what this is leading. I just know.
His left blinker is blinding, when it suddenly fills the windscreen in front of me. We both slow down, and make the turn onto a badly-paved road that leads to an industrial-looking building. Its parking lot is surrounded by a chain-link fence. The place looks like a factory. As we both slowly crawl across the asphalt, I can see that whatever it used to be has been converted into a well-known fitness club chain. Bright and safe as the interior of the building looks far away, the parking lot is as dark as the neighborhood around.
The driver pulls to a stop at the back of the lot. A tree-pruning company has parked its trucks there for the night. Next to them, the pickup truck looks totally in place. I pull my own black car a spot over, and turn off my lights.
I see his hand fumbling for the lock when I make my way from my car to his. I pull open the passenger door, and climb in.
"Hey," I say.
"Hola," he replies.
It's the first time I've gotten to see him. He's fucking beautiful. No, seriously, it's crazy how beautiful he is. The odds of me lucking out like this are infinitesimal. The boy's Latin, dark-haired. His features are fine, his body lean beneath baggy clothing. There's a trace of a mustache on his upper lip, a bit of scruff on his cheeks, but he's either too young or too naturally smooth to produce more. His eyes are looking at me hungrily. His hands are rubbing his crotch. He's much younger than thirty. At a glance, I'd guess no more than twenty-four or twenty-five, if that.
I reach out and rub between his legs. His hands rush to touch me. He knows just where to put his fingers. Under the cords I'm wearing my dick is stiff. I can tell my shorts are sticky from the prolonged build-up we've enjoyed, over the last twenty minutes. His face is close to mine; his breath smells of sweet lemon candy. When we kiss, he groans. His head tilts back. I can hear him murmuring something in Spanish into my ear as he leans over further to try to undo my pants. Frustrated, he pops open his own fly and pulls his white painters' pants to the ground, around his ankles. I can see about six inches of hooded meat standing at attention, rigid and pulsing with the quick beat of his heart.
He's a tiny man. His passenger seat is pulled up all the way, and the seat back is bolt upright. I'm all limbs and length. I can't undo my top button in this kind of space. "Does your seat. . . ?"
He already knows what I'm asking. His hand darts between my legs to the space between my feet, and the seat eases away from the dash. I find the seat back release and lower myself. Together we manage to get my pants down and my dick loose. Then his mouth is on my meat. He sucks like he's sucked dick all his life. He sucks like he's been denied, until now. I keep a look out into the dark parking lot, but no one is near. No one's even coming in or out of the gym right now. He cranes his neck and tries to position himself so that he's between my legs, but there's not enough room.
He comes up for air. "Do you fuck the ass?" He's got a heavy accent. There's a certain hesitance to his words as he speaks, as if there's a moment or two of lag between the thought in his mind and the words he's dredging up in a language that's not his own. When I nod, he says, "The truck." He nods at the landscaping trucks beside his own. "Go behind."
Then, in a shot, he's pulled up his pants and is out the driver's side door.
Hot dog, I think to myself.
One of the trucks carries equipment. The other is a limb shredder. There's a pile of leaves that's calf-deep behind them, and we're standing in it. They can't all be from the trees above—there are too many leaves left on the branches there. The smell of damp and autumn mold is rich and pungent. It lingers, like some kind of inescapable seasonal cologne. He drops his pants again and wraps his hand around his rock-hard dick. "Show me your body," I whisper.
Immediately he pulls up his shirt. In the darkness he's little more than a luminous pale curve, slender at the waist, full below it. His stomach was perfectly flat. His chest is beautiful and lightly muscular. I gape, unable to believe my good fortune. I simply don't have this kind of luck, this jackpot from a random draw.
"Turn around," I tell him, after he's fumbled with the button of my cords and loosed me from their bindings.
His ass is surprisingly hairy, considering how smooth the rest of his body is. I run my hands over the cheeks. He groans, and pushes them back to me. "You like the fuck?" he whispers.
I let my fingers probe into his hole. That's all the answer he needs. He groans, and whispers more words in Spanish. It's a clean-smelling hole, I quickly find out. I want it.
He backs up against me. My shaft is pillowed between his butt cheeks. The boy only comes up to my nipples, if that. His T-shirt is still bunched up around his armpits; I wrap my hands around his naked chest and hold him tight. He responds amorously, turning his head to kiss me. His teeth pull at my lower lip; he cries out as my cock head pushes against his hole. With no lube yet, there's a lot of resistance, but his hand grabs at the back of my head. His fingers entwine with my hair, tugging at it. When my hands move down to his cock, I can feel his balls retracting.
It's too late to stop what's happening. He comes violently. The leaves thrash at our feet as he jerks and shakes. He cries out, his moan muffled by the autumn blanket below us, and the still-heavy canopy of leafed branches above. The back of my fingers become sticky from one of the jets of semen erupting from his dick. He hasn't even finished shooting when he's whispering out, "Sorry! Sorry!" He seems to mean it. He didn't want it to end that quickly.
My hands quiet him. I hold him firmly, like an unsettled child. I pull out the tip of my dick from his hole and keep my left hand on the small of his back. A few strokes of my right hand is all it takes. My own orgasm is more silent. My breathing increases. I seem to heave and roll, like a ship on an unquiet sea. My load lands on his ass, on both cheeks. As the blood returns to my head, I rub my cock over the wetness.
We stand there for a moment in the leaves. My first thought, as the sexual haze fades, is of ticks.
He's already pulling up his pants, leaving my seed on his skin as he snaps the waistband of his shorts over his hips. Up come the baggy white trousers. He throws his arms around me in an unexpected gesture of affection and gratitude. Then he plants a hand on my chest, followed by a raised index finger, before he disappears.
I understand. He's telling me to wait a moment before I emerge from the shadows as well. When I finally do, I can see him in his truck, talking to someone on his phone. Its little lights are the pinpoint stars his silhouette obscures, as I glide silently back to my own car, doused in autumn's spicy perfume.
Then I drive home.
The rest stop is busy when I pull in. It's barely eight, and already the trucks are lining the entrance and exit ramps as their drivers break for the night. I can hear their motors idling as I drive by. The sound’s a giant, mechanical purr. The spaces nearest the McDonald's are filled with commuters and family cars.
But I'm heading to the back of the lot, where there are only three vehicles. They're dark on the inside, but there's just enough light streaming down from the lamps above to show me that one is empty, while the other two have solitary silhouettes within. I park between them, a few spots over from one, and across from the other.
To my left, the man in the cream sedan is pretending to sing along to music on his car radio. His lips are moving, anyway, but his head is turned in my direction. He nods. I nod back as I cut the ignition. The internal lights of my own car flick on—it's an automatic convenience, so that I can see the door latches. I'm aware that they give the men in both cars a clear look at me for a good fifteen seconds. Then they fade. I'm not going anywhere.
In the parking aisle facing mine, across from me and one space over, a white Ford truck has its nose pointed at the grille of my car. I can't see its occupant. The outline of him, dark against dark, gives the impression of maleness. My eyes read him as young—perhaps thirty or thirty-two. The truck itself is an older model. It's clean, and well-taken-care of, but it definitely was assembled a decade or more ago.
The man within is looking at me. I'm not even sure how I can tell. Watching him is like trying to track an invisible cloud against a midnight sky, when the only way of knowing of its presence is to observe what stars it obscures. Still, I can tell by the procession of his silhouettes that he's pointing his face in my direction. I tip my head, as if I'm trying to stare more intently at him—and I am. I rub my dick, and look down at it. He can't see my crotch, not from his angle. But he might be able to see the lift of my shoulder, the motion of my arm, the back-and-forth of my hand over the corduroy.
It might be working. He leans forward. His hands grasp the steering wheel. I look back and forth between the occupant of the truck, and the man in the cream-colored car. This might turn out to be one of those situations in which no one makes a move, and we all lose.
The truck's lights flick on, making me blink. He's started his ignition. When he backs out of his space, the lamp from above hits him for a moment, and I get an impression of short dark hair, a round face, clean, tight skin. He does seem like a younger guy, but it's an impression, a half-second's blur of the dark becoming light and then disappearing once again, and nothing more. I watch as the truck pulls out from its aisle and into the lane that leads past the McDonald's to the gas pumps and the exit lane. He's not leaving, though. He turns and pulls down the first aisle closest to the rest stop building, and proceeds all the way down to its furthest, and darkest, end. There he parks, and turns off his lights.
Okay. I wait a moment, and then, with my heart thumping, I follow.
I'm a little upset when I retrace the same route the truck's just taken, only to find him pulling out and past me in the opposite direction when I'm nearly at my goal. Did I mistake the cue? Was he trying to get away from me, and got pissed off when he saw me following? Did I imagine the entire thing altogether? I pull into the spot he's just vacated. I watch. He parks the truck into a space in the busy part of this aisle, and stops.
I'm confused. Then I notice that parked directly across from me is a stretch limousine. The driver's inside, talking on his cell phone, obviously killing time. Maybe the guy in my truck didn't like being so near a potential witness.
It looks like I'm right. The truck pulls out of its new space and heads back my way. It drives past, and pauses where the aisle merges into the lane that's supposed to be for trucks to take to the back lot. I turn on my ignition once more, and follow.
He takes me through the confusing maze of trucks snaked into their spaces. I wonder if he's looking for a space at the back of this lot, but no. We're heading to the exit. Past the idling haulers we both go, onto the ramp, merging with the highway traffic. The next exit is just ahead; his right blinker turns on.
A moment later, mine mirrors his.
I don't know this neighborhood. I'm following him off the highway, down the service drive that runs parallel. It's pitch-black here in spots. There are no streetlights. For the first time, I wonder if I'm crazy—crazy to be following a man I haven't even seen, crazy to be driving somewhere he could rob me, assault me. The dude could be just some guy who wanted to go home, who'd think I was stalking him when I got out of my car. This whole night could've been a crazy convergence of coincidence and mixed signals.
And yet I'm so sure of what I'm doing, of what all those cues meant. I know for a fact to what this is leading. I just know.
His left blinker is blinding, when it suddenly fills the windscreen in front of me. We both slow down, and make the turn onto a badly-paved road that leads to an industrial-looking building. Its parking lot is surrounded by a chain-link fence. The place looks like a factory. As we both slowly crawl across the asphalt, I can see that whatever it used to be has been converted into a well-known fitness club chain. Bright and safe as the interior of the building looks far away, the parking lot is as dark as the neighborhood around.
The driver pulls to a stop at the back of the lot. A tree-pruning company has parked its trucks there for the night. Next to them, the pickup truck looks totally in place. I pull my own black car a spot over, and turn off my lights.
I see his hand fumbling for the lock when I make my way from my car to his. I pull open the passenger door, and climb in.
"Hey," I say.
"Hola," he replies.
It's the first time I've gotten to see him. He's fucking beautiful. No, seriously, it's crazy how beautiful he is. The odds of me lucking out like this are infinitesimal. The boy's Latin, dark-haired. His features are fine, his body lean beneath baggy clothing. There's a trace of a mustache on his upper lip, a bit of scruff on his cheeks, but he's either too young or too naturally smooth to produce more. His eyes are looking at me hungrily. His hands are rubbing his crotch. He's much younger than thirty. At a glance, I'd guess no more than twenty-four or twenty-five, if that.
I reach out and rub between his legs. His hands rush to touch me. He knows just where to put his fingers. Under the cords I'm wearing my dick is stiff. I can tell my shorts are sticky from the prolonged build-up we've enjoyed, over the last twenty minutes. His face is close to mine; his breath smells of sweet lemon candy. When we kiss, he groans. His head tilts back. I can hear him murmuring something in Spanish into my ear as he leans over further to try to undo my pants. Frustrated, he pops open his own fly and pulls his white painters' pants to the ground, around his ankles. I can see about six inches of hooded meat standing at attention, rigid and pulsing with the quick beat of his heart.
He's a tiny man. His passenger seat is pulled up all the way, and the seat back is bolt upright. I'm all limbs and length. I can't undo my top button in this kind of space. "Does your seat. . . ?"
He already knows what I'm asking. His hand darts between my legs to the space between my feet, and the seat eases away from the dash. I find the seat back release and lower myself. Together we manage to get my pants down and my dick loose. Then his mouth is on my meat. He sucks like he's sucked dick all his life. He sucks like he's been denied, until now. I keep a look out into the dark parking lot, but no one is near. No one's even coming in or out of the gym right now. He cranes his neck and tries to position himself so that he's between my legs, but there's not enough room.
He comes up for air. "Do you fuck the ass?" He's got a heavy accent. There's a certain hesitance to his words as he speaks, as if there's a moment or two of lag between the thought in his mind and the words he's dredging up in a language that's not his own. When I nod, he says, "The truck." He nods at the landscaping trucks beside his own. "Go behind."
Then, in a shot, he's pulled up his pants and is out the driver's side door.
Hot dog, I think to myself.
One of the trucks carries equipment. The other is a limb shredder. There's a pile of leaves that's calf-deep behind them, and we're standing in it. They can't all be from the trees above—there are too many leaves left on the branches there. The smell of damp and autumn mold is rich and pungent. It lingers, like some kind of inescapable seasonal cologne. He drops his pants again and wraps his hand around his rock-hard dick. "Show me your body," I whisper.
Immediately he pulls up his shirt. In the darkness he's little more than a luminous pale curve, slender at the waist, full below it. His stomach was perfectly flat. His chest is beautiful and lightly muscular. I gape, unable to believe my good fortune. I simply don't have this kind of luck, this jackpot from a random draw.
"Turn around," I tell him, after he's fumbled with the button of my cords and loosed me from their bindings.
His ass is surprisingly hairy, considering how smooth the rest of his body is. I run my hands over the cheeks. He groans, and pushes them back to me. "You like the fuck?" he whispers.
I let my fingers probe into his hole. That's all the answer he needs. He groans, and whispers more words in Spanish. It's a clean-smelling hole, I quickly find out. I want it.
He backs up against me. My shaft is pillowed between his butt cheeks. The boy only comes up to my nipples, if that. His T-shirt is still bunched up around his armpits; I wrap my hands around his naked chest and hold him tight. He responds amorously, turning his head to kiss me. His teeth pull at my lower lip; he cries out as my cock head pushes against his hole. With no lube yet, there's a lot of resistance, but his hand grabs at the back of my head. His fingers entwine with my hair, tugging at it. When my hands move down to his cock, I can feel his balls retracting.
It's too late to stop what's happening. He comes violently. The leaves thrash at our feet as he jerks and shakes. He cries out, his moan muffled by the autumn blanket below us, and the still-heavy canopy of leafed branches above. The back of my fingers become sticky from one of the jets of semen erupting from his dick. He hasn't even finished shooting when he's whispering out, "Sorry! Sorry!" He seems to mean it. He didn't want it to end that quickly.
My hands quiet him. I hold him firmly, like an unsettled child. I pull out the tip of my dick from his hole and keep my left hand on the small of his back. A few strokes of my right hand is all it takes. My own orgasm is more silent. My breathing increases. I seem to heave and roll, like a ship on an unquiet sea. My load lands on his ass, on both cheeks. As the blood returns to my head, I rub my cock over the wetness.
We stand there for a moment in the leaves. My first thought, as the sexual haze fades, is of ticks.
He's already pulling up his pants, leaving my seed on his skin as he snaps the waistband of his shorts over his hips. Up come the baggy white trousers. He throws his arms around me in an unexpected gesture of affection and gratitude. Then he plants a hand on my chest, followed by a raised index finger, before he disappears.
I understand. He's telling me to wait a moment before I emerge from the shadows as well. When I finally do, I can see him in his truck, talking to someone on his phone. Its little lights are the pinpoint stars his silhouette obscures, as I glide silently back to my own car, doused in autumn's spicy perfume.
Then I drive home.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sunday Morning Questions: Post Sympathy Edition
I'd like to thank all the readers who wrote in this week with their sympathies about the loss of my pet. I really appreciated the kind words during a dark week. A dark couple of weeks, really, since we were watching her get slower and slower and knowing that like a top, she didn't have long until she just came to a full stop.
It's not easy to lose a pet, but it's the compact we make when we let them into our lives—we take as best care of them as we can, knowing that we're likely to outlive them. We give them good lives, and a warm lap, and food. Then when the time comes, we try to ensure they pass as painlessly as possible.
But whew, that's a depressing topic. Let's get straight to some questions from formspring.me.
Who was the first person you ever saw naked, outside of immediate family members? Who was it, what were the circumstance and what sex were they?
Even as a very small child I saw all kinds of hippies hanging out in the altogether, either at my parents' house or at the houses of other progressive homes. It wasn't really until I was around six and went to public school that I realized that not everyone runs around naked at home.
What are you thoughts about Anonymous questions are they Intriguing or fucking wimps?
I have in the past encouraged blog readers to submit questions anonymously, as many don't wish to be identified, and many more don't have Formspring accounts. It's fine with me. I prefer those questions to the spam I get from a handful of Formspring users.
What bothers me is when people use anonymous questions on Formspring, or anonymous comments on my blog, in order to make accusations, cast aspersions, or denigrate me or my loved ones. I see that kind of behavior as cowardly and indulged in primarily by people who live very small and miserable lives. It was because of two (and only two!) of those people that I closed down the anonymous questions portion of my formspring account some weeks ago . . . though I'll probably lift that embargo this week, as they've worn themselves out.
I checked out your adam4adam profile for the first time and was wondering are you shaved or scruffy these days? Either way is sexy!
I've had a short beard for over a half-dozen years now. I have no intentions of shaving it.
Is it random or intentional that you are on the CT side of the NY/CT line?
I'm not really sure how it could be random. I'm not a dandelion seed. I don't just land where the wind blows me and decide to blossom there.
Why CT rather than NY? (I could see over CT over NJ, but why rather than NY?)
I've stated this in my blog before, but my other half received a job offer in Connecticut, and not in New York or New Jersey. So that's why I'm here.
Never cruised a bathroom before. Reading your blog post, it seems that if you want to get head, you got to be willing to pretty directly show the guy the goods. What if you misread and he's not looking to give head? A risk you have to take?
Public cruising of any sort is definitely risky. Not only are you betting that your locale is safe and quiet enough for some quick sexual contact, but you're also making a bet that the object of your desire is not only just as interested as you, but also isn't a cop.
Look, I've been doing this since my teens. Over the years I've gotten a pretty finely-honed sense of when guys are staring at me because they find me sexually interesting, instead of when they're staring at me because they think my hair's too long and I look like the lost drummer from ABBA. I've got a good sense of the body language and cues that men use when they're cruising, and aren't just killing time or having a hard time peeing. I know all the rituals of the toe-tap dance and the bend-and-peek beneath a restroom stall.
It's because I have a lot of experience with these things that I feel fairly confident about when and when not to pursue something. If you're a first-timer, it's going to be more difficult.
Don't let your lack of inexperience keep you from giving it a try. But always have a quick exit strategy in mind. Know your possible points of intrusion, and your escape routes. Don't be sloppy merely because you're horny and want to get off—go slowly, and make sure you're getting as much reciprocation as you're putting out there. And most of all, watch others and see what they're doing. You can learn the cues of cruising without saying a word, if you're observant.
Have you ever fallen in love with a fuck buddy?
I have. Sometimes more quickly than I expected.
Is the South (at least the part you've just been in) still becoming less distinctive?
When I was a kid growing up in the South, there was a lot of adult grumbling about the region losing its distinction from the rest of the country. It's true that to some extent my sleepy little city has become one of the bedroom communities for a much larger city to the north, and that the little mom and pop drug and hardware stores and local department stores have been replaced by CVS and Home Depot and the same old Macy's you can find anywhere else in the country.
But there are little traditions, like friendly banter with strangers, and the types of food that people eat and prepare, and the gracious gardens and the pride in home ownership, that are very much part and parcel of what I knew growing up. That hasn't changed much. And people still like to complain about the homogenization of the South, too. So some things never change.
What's the worst show on TV?
Usually it's the nightly news—at least, it's the most depressing.
Sorry you're having a rough time finding a hookup in CT. I live there myself. It's pretty bad. Lots of guys giving out fake pics (sometimes decades old, it seems), or guys that flake out. There are good guys in CT, though, so I hope you keep trying!
I appreciate the good words. I've seen fake pics everywhere (sometimes, the guys are using mine), and everywhere there are flake-outs. I still rank this state among the worst in actual follow-through, though.
I think things will ease when I grow a network of regulars, when I have a place where I can host sometimes again, and the more I get used to the notion that I might have to go into the city for what I want.
If you're only an hour away, why aren't we connecting? Email me.
It's not easy to lose a pet, but it's the compact we make when we let them into our lives—we take as best care of them as we can, knowing that we're likely to outlive them. We give them good lives, and a warm lap, and food. Then when the time comes, we try to ensure they pass as painlessly as possible.
But whew, that's a depressing topic. Let's get straight to some questions from formspring.me.
Who was the first person you ever saw naked, outside of immediate family members? Who was it, what were the circumstance and what sex were they?
Even as a very small child I saw all kinds of hippies hanging out in the altogether, either at my parents' house or at the houses of other progressive homes. It wasn't really until I was around six and went to public school that I realized that not everyone runs around naked at home.
What are you thoughts about Anonymous questions are they Intriguing or fucking wimps?
I have in the past encouraged blog readers to submit questions anonymously, as many don't wish to be identified, and many more don't have Formspring accounts. It's fine with me. I prefer those questions to the spam I get from a handful of Formspring users.
What bothers me is when people use anonymous questions on Formspring, or anonymous comments on my blog, in order to make accusations, cast aspersions, or denigrate me or my loved ones. I see that kind of behavior as cowardly and indulged in primarily by people who live very small and miserable lives. It was because of two (and only two!) of those people that I closed down the anonymous questions portion of my formspring account some weeks ago . . . though I'll probably lift that embargo this week, as they've worn themselves out.
I checked out your adam4adam profile for the first time and was wondering are you shaved or scruffy these days? Either way is sexy!
I've had a short beard for over a half-dozen years now. I have no intentions of shaving it.
Is it random or intentional that you are on the CT side of the NY/CT line?
I'm not really sure how it could be random. I'm not a dandelion seed. I don't just land where the wind blows me and decide to blossom there.
Why CT rather than NY? (I could see over CT over NJ, but why rather than NY?)
I've stated this in my blog before, but my other half received a job offer in Connecticut, and not in New York or New Jersey. So that's why I'm here.
Never cruised a bathroom before. Reading your blog post, it seems that if you want to get head, you got to be willing to pretty directly show the guy the goods. What if you misread and he's not looking to give head? A risk you have to take?
Public cruising of any sort is definitely risky. Not only are you betting that your locale is safe and quiet enough for some quick sexual contact, but you're also making a bet that the object of your desire is not only just as interested as you, but also isn't a cop.
Look, I've been doing this since my teens. Over the years I've gotten a pretty finely-honed sense of when guys are staring at me because they find me sexually interesting, instead of when they're staring at me because they think my hair's too long and I look like the lost drummer from ABBA. I've got a good sense of the body language and cues that men use when they're cruising, and aren't just killing time or having a hard time peeing. I know all the rituals of the toe-tap dance and the bend-and-peek beneath a restroom stall.
It's because I have a lot of experience with these things that I feel fairly confident about when and when not to pursue something. If you're a first-timer, it's going to be more difficult.
Don't let your lack of inexperience keep you from giving it a try. But always have a quick exit strategy in mind. Know your possible points of intrusion, and your escape routes. Don't be sloppy merely because you're horny and want to get off—go slowly, and make sure you're getting as much reciprocation as you're putting out there. And most of all, watch others and see what they're doing. You can learn the cues of cruising without saying a word, if you're observant.
Have you ever fallen in love with a fuck buddy?
I have. Sometimes more quickly than I expected.
Is the South (at least the part you've just been in) still becoming less distinctive?
When I was a kid growing up in the South, there was a lot of adult grumbling about the region losing its distinction from the rest of the country. It's true that to some extent my sleepy little city has become one of the bedroom communities for a much larger city to the north, and that the little mom and pop drug and hardware stores and local department stores have been replaced by CVS and Home Depot and the same old Macy's you can find anywhere else in the country.
But there are little traditions, like friendly banter with strangers, and the types of food that people eat and prepare, and the gracious gardens and the pride in home ownership, that are very much part and parcel of what I knew growing up. That hasn't changed much. And people still like to complain about the homogenization of the South, too. So some things never change.
What's the worst show on TV?
Usually it's the nightly news—at least, it's the most depressing.
Sorry you're having a rough time finding a hookup in CT. I live there myself. It's pretty bad. Lots of guys giving out fake pics (sometimes decades old, it seems), or guys that flake out. There are good guys in CT, though, so I hope you keep trying!
I appreciate the good words. I've seen fake pics everywhere (sometimes, the guys are using mine), and everywhere there are flake-outs. I still rank this state among the worst in actual follow-through, though.
I think things will ease when I grow a network of regulars, when I have a place where I can host sometimes again, and the more I get used to the notion that I might have to go into the city for what I want.
If you're only an hour away, why aren't we connecting? Email me.
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