Sunday Morning Questions: Sixteen Candles Edition

It's true: I am officially another year older today. Whether I'm wiser has yet to be seen.

At an impromptu gathering of friends the other night, I received this birthday card:

A 'Hello! My name is...' card featuring the scrawled words Ima Tramp about sums it up, doesn't it? However, you'd think that a tramp would've at least gotten his birthday spankings by now . . . and my butt is still waiting for that.

I'm still accepting submissions (so to speak) for the Reader Ass feature—we'll be having a couple of them later this week. If you're not averse to showing off your butts for thousands of guys to see, click the link above, follow the instructions and share your photos of your ass with the world! If you'd like to share your butt with me . . . well, it's cold and snowy where I am, but my sheets are flannel and you're more than welcome.

As is our Sunday custom, I'm rounding up responses to questions I've been answering on formspring.me, the service that allows you to ask anonymous question of your friends without having to feel like a fool for asking. I'll answer just about anything that's not super-repetitive or super-silly, so if you're looking for advice, need an ear, or are just plain curious about something let 'er rip.


My question is: What is your take on religion?
I'm not a fan of organized religion, quite honestly. At its worst, it tends to be used as a tool of oppression and an excuse for ignorance and inaction.

I do like the little ideals that religion is supposed at its core to hold true: kindness to each other, belief that the union of people can produce all manner of good out of the reach of any single individual, and of providing help to the needy. Those can be appreciated by even the most atheistic soul.


Which writers inspire you? You remind me of a pornographic of Bill Bryson (that is a compliment by the way)
Thank you. I'm not familiar with Bill Bryson, and had to Google him.

I've listed some of my favorite writers before—they include a bunch of Victorian novelists, twentieth-century satirists and humorists, and the odd speculative fiction novelist who looks at our world and sees vastly different universes that shed light upon it. I don't really model my writing style on anyone's, however. It's a shaggy mutt of its own creation.


Ever done coke off an erect penis?
I've never done coke, so no.


When you masturbate while alone, are your major fantasys about being on the top or bottom? What is the fantasy line that gets you off the hardest?
I have fantasized about both, but usually my fantasies tend to be about me topping. When I am in a rare bottomy mood, I'll jerk off thinking about taking it.


Are you a size queen? If so, what's too small?
Not really. Dick size is not at the top of my list of things to look for when I'm cruising for sex.

I have been turned off by a couple of guys who had mere nubbins, though--but I think it was because they weren't honest with me and had sold themselves as six- to eight-inchers.


Would you prefer the lights on or off during sex?
I prefer the lights off. I like to be able to see what I'm aiming for, in a sense, but I find that dim lighting contributes more to my mood and makes me feel less self-conscious.


What's the one thing you would do over again? (and you can't say 'nothing', that's not an option)
When it comes to sex, there's a lot of stuff I'd be happy to do again, and only a handful of things I wouldn't repeat.

My philosophy is that I'll give almost anything a go. Letting fear hold one back from enjoyment is silly and limiting.


Just saw that you're a Doctor Who fan. Do you have a favorite companion of the Doctor's? Who is it? He or she can be from the new or old series. Mine is Martha, mostly b/c that was the 1st season I watched, so Freema & David both have a place in my heart.
I love Martha a lot--better than Rose Tyler, truth be told--but my favorite New Who companion is probably Donna Noble. I'm also a Rory fan. If River Song counted as a full-fledged companion, she would probably be my top choice.

Of the Old Who companions, I most like Sarah Jane Smith and Peri Brown. Although Leela kicked butt.


How many Christmas presents did you return this year?
Absolutely none. I don't think I've ever returned a Christmas gift.


Who has the better English department, U Conn or U Mich/Ann Arbor?
You ask almost as if you think I have a personal reason for knowing the answers. I'm not really aware of how good U-Conn's departments are, but U-M has a very good department, if you're thinking of applying.


If you found out that you were positive, would you stop fucking guys bareback?
When I meet someone for sex, my partner's serostatus is always a part of the negotiation process, regardless of my own HIV status.