Sunday Morning Questions: Diving Right In Edition

I've had an enormously busy weekend—out all Saturday, busy most of today—so I've barely any time for much of an essay today. Let's get right to recapping some questions from formspring.me.

If you've got questions for me, feel free to use to service to indulge your curiosity. The only questions I don't answer are those I've seen a zillion times before ("How big is your dick?"), those about my home life, and those that aren't so much questions as barely-veiled hostility. Anything else goes, guys!


Do you usually wear a cock ring when playing with another guy?

Usually? No. Often? Yes.


Thinking about trying out a cockring for the first time: go with leather, metal?

It's tough to avoid the feeling of claustrophobia that a cock ring can elicit the first few times you wear it, particularly in those moments after your orgasm when your dick is still hard and you're wondering why it won't come OFF now that you're done with it.

For that reason, I suggest avoiding metal for your first time. Go with either a leather snap model (just be careful about catching your pubes in the snaps), or a flexible rubber ring, or even one of the soft jellies.


Have you ever been double penetrated?

Nope, never, though I've been on the top end of double penetration, many times. For the record, it's not totally unpleasurable, but it's not my favorite activity by a long shot.


In line with some of the other questions here, can you tell us more about how to cruise toilets and public parks? What are the "signs," so to speak? I've always been curious how it works.

If there's sufficient interest in the comments, I'll write up another couple of the Cruising 101 series that covers the topic.


At what age did you figure out that your parents had sex?

Pretty early. My parents, hippies that they were, weren't shy about their sexuality, or the fact that they enjoyed sex together. Once I was old enough to understand how babies were made, my folks were pretty up front about the fact that they did that kind of thing all the time.

So, you show up at a hook-up's place. They are super hot and clean themselves. But, their place is a pig sty. Dishes in the sink piled up. Underwear and dirty laundry all over the bedroom floor. Do you bolt, or do you just focus on the task at hand?

I've had this situation more times than I can count. The dirty laundry on the floor doesn't bother me. I don't usually see their sink. But what will kill the mood for me is a house in which everything is piled high with hardly any room to move, like a nightmare out of "Hoarders," especially if there's a smell involved. Then I feel as if I have to fuck without touching anything, and that's no fun.

I've also had situations in which my stomach turned when I went into the guy's bathroom and discovered it was a cesspit, with a nasty toilet and a tub that resembled a petrie dish. I actually made my excuses and vanished from one of those, once.


Will Ben & Jerry's new Schweddy Balls flavor be the Official Ice Cream of The Breeder?

I saw the announcement about Schweddy Balls posted several times on Facebook and I laughed. I loved that skit.

However, I'm not really a fan of rum-flavored ice cream. The malted milk balls, yes. So many I'll just feed my fans my Schweddy Balls.



How does your theory that most guys are bottoms at some level fit with evolutionary theory's suggestion that they should be about equal?

For one thing, my theory is hardly scientific. Any sampling I make of the population at large is going to be made of guys predisposed to bottom, right? Of course it's going to seem like all the men out there are bottoms, to me.

But they pretty much are.

Why would evolutionary theory have any bearing on the proportions to tops and bottoms in the gay and bi population? The two have nothing to do with each other. The statement seems as dubious, to my ears, like the argument social conservatives make that gays imperil the human race because they can't reproduce--which is silly, because any man who hasn't had damage to his reproductive organs or been rendered sterile has the potential to fuck seed into a pussy, gay or straight.

Likewise, any gay guy has the potential to top if he wants. It's just that most of them don't want.


Ever planning to be in So. California?

I get to L.A. periodically.


Have you decided to keep our hair the same length, as it appears? You seriously did consider going a lot shorter, to much comment.

I kept it uncut from May until August. When I had it cut again, I left it long. I get a lot of nice compliments about it these days.

I'm really vain, if you haven't noticed.


Are you ticklish? If so, most ticklish spot.

My sides can be very ticklish. I disliked being tickled, though.


You mentioned celebrities in your blog. What about politicians of the right wing kind? Or what about just regular right wingers? You must have had your fair share of bible bashers?

I've slept with a state senator, and a state representative (no, I'm not saying which state), but to be perfectly honest, I don't remember their political affiliations.

I have slept with a lot of conservatives and Bible thumpers, particularly when I was younger. My boyfriend in college was ultra-conservative.

I don't have a lot of patience for political discussions during sex now, generally. If a guy pontificates on political issues that are repellant to me before I fuck him, generally I'm not going to meet him anyway.


Is it inherently more pleasurable to bottom than top?

I certainly don't think so, but I'm a top because I like the way it feels. Many of the bottoms I fuck certainly derive a great deal of pleasure from the act, and they'd probably disagree with me.

Let me put it this way: if taking dick wasn't pleasurable, there wouldn't be such a surplus of bottoms out there. And if there weren't men like me who got a lot of enjoyment from topping, they'd all be pretty horny fuckers.


Hey there! Paul from Buffalo. My question: If they were bi at least would you consider either Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan, or Aaron Schock?

Mmmm, Aaron Schock. The question is, Paul from Buffalo, would any of them consider me?