Sunday Morning Questions: Isn't It Ironic Edition

A short note to guys on Manhunt: I know it's a rough world out there. I know that the sex sites are the rootin'-tootin' Wild West of the online frontier, where the men are gruff and the sheep run scared. I know the result has prompted many of you to take it out on others in your profiles.

When your Manhunt profile consists only of two paragraphs, however, with one saying you're looking to meet nice guys, and the other reading, "Why is it so hard for men to be polite to each other on this site? Kindness and respect goes a long way with me!", and then you hit me up and respond to my comment of You are a handsome young man with one that reads That's the funniest thing I've ever read! How old are you, ninety? You sound like my grandpa and he's DEAD!!—well, I'm pretty much going to think you're a total asshole.

Don'tcha think?

Now let's get straight to some questions from readers, courtesy of formspring.me. And please, if you have any questions you'd like to ask about me that don't have to do with my dick size or my family life, head over to the site and feel free to ask anonymously.


Have you ever met anyone who tested as average (IQ, SAT, etc.) but still really impressed you as a mind? If yes, how do you think such people differ from those whose test scores stand out?

Some people test well, and are generally pretty smart.

Some people test well and are as dumb as a couple of potatoes in a bucket.

Some people don't test well, and have seemed smarter than some of the guys with Mensa-level IQs to me.

You know, I've run across all kinds of smart people in my life. Some of them have been told repeatedly how stupid and unteachable they are by teachers throughout their life, and by parents, and so-called friends. They've come to believe it, all because they didn't do well on standardized tests, or because they weren't all that great at writing essays. When asked to articulate carefully their ideas, though, they can be as sophisticated as any of their peers, or even more so.

My dad, who is one of the smartest men I know, was told throughout his childhood that he was stupid because of a mild dyslexia that causes him to spell (even still) like a fairly uneducated third grader. He tests badly on standardized tests, and his unedited essays are tough to read because of the spelling. He's a brilliant scholar and a had a long career in academia, though—he's just had to work twice as hard and overcome a lot of feelings of inadequacy because of his circumstances.

What was at the top of your Christmas list?

Peace on earth, and goodwill to men. And by 'goodwill' I mean Uniqlo no-wale corduroy jeans in every color, size 31/34, and by 'men' I mean me.

When you're at the gym, how can you tell if a straight acting guy is Straight or Gay?

I'm usually pretty sure they're open to gay sex when they're going down on me in the sauna.

Do you reckon you'll still be a top at 60 or 70+ ?

Probably. What interests me more is whether I'll still be attracting the bottom boys at that age.

How did your upbringing differ most from the norm, and how did this shape your adult personality?

I grew up in a household in which the sensibility was decidedly liberal, actively political, and in which sex was not a taboo topic nor was nudity rare—which was relatively uncommon in the nineteen-sixties and nineteen-seventies, but not unheard of. Usually when you find that combustible combination, though, the kid who grew up in has a name like Sunflower or Autumn.

As a kid I used to have to apologize to my peers for the differences between my house and theirs. Now I think I had a pretty awesome upbringing that's left me adaptable, open, and free of a log of bugaboos that cloud the minds of many people I know. I'm also aware that in other people's eyes, some of the things I see as my virtues—my candor, my sexual openness, my tendency to make a stand and defend it—come off as less than virtuous rudeness, crudeness, and jackass stubbornness.

I'm glad for my hippie-dippie upbringing. It wasn't a bed of roses, but it taught me more about the world than any Leave It to Beaver household.

Have you ever found yourself in the position of willingly giving up something you never thought you'd give up? if so, what was it?

I've given up a handful of friendships I thought would last forever, because they changed and were no longer real friendships. That hurt.

I've given up pursuing someone when it became plain that my attentions were causing him emotional distress. That hurt a lot.

I gave up a home and a place I really liked living so that someone I loved could pursue a dream. That was painful, but worth it, in theory.

Learning to let go of things when it's time is part of a life's journey. It's never without its anguishes, small and large, but it gets easier to contemplate, the more one does it.

Did you have a favorite gift as a kid? What was it?

I had several Christmas gifts when I was a kid that brought me a lot of pleasure. One was a miniature printing press, which I used to write my own newspapers for several years. Another was a chemistry set with which I laboriously worked through every experiment, though strangely it never helped me understand high school chemistry later on. Another was an electronics set, that let me perform various scientific experiments using a transistor, several diodes and resistors, wires, and a AA battery.

Mostly I loved getting board games, though. I still have every board game I've ever received—mostly Parker Brothers classics from the nineteen-sixties and seventies.

The best Christmas gift I ever got was probably an Atari 2600, when the originally came out. I played the heck out of that thing for several years—it probably got more utility than any other Christmas gift I ever received.

Do you wear cologne and if so what kind?

I rarely wear cologne. When I do, it tends to be something extremely light and barely noticeable.

Have you ever been caught by someone, preferably a female, and then had that someone join in?

The whole scenario of 'being caught' seems to be a popular fantasy for a whole bunch of men. It seems to be fueled by an undercurrent of shame and a desire for humiliation—and I've never been particularly ashamed by anything I've done sexually, nor am I into being humiliated. That fantasy has never done anything for me.

I've written in my blog about an incident in my mid-teens in which I was taken home by a couple of police officers for having sex in a park restroom. That was the one and only time in my life I've ever been surprised at anything. So other than that, no, I've never really been caught by anyone, at any time, doing anything, because mainly I know how to close the door and/or lock it.