So in the interests of experimentation—and let's face it, the gleaming, lazy prospect of not having to think about all those pesky color words and adjectives and watching my adverbs and subject-verb agreements (not that it stops me most of the time)—I took some of my more popular recent entries, typed in a few words from them, and let the invisible pixies finish the rest.
Here's our alternate version of this week's Restroom Lunch (as always, click on the images to enlarge them):
Nice! I like it! Those American Chemical Society boys are the biggest sluts I've ever met.
And remember Boy in the Woods? I could've saved myself a whole couple of hours if I'd just gone with the Google Scribe flow:
I'm not exactly sure how cats and small enterprise development connect, but I'm sure it would've been hot!
Charming Accent was one of my more popular entries in the last couple of months.
And finally, An Open Letter to the Hungry Bottoms of the World takes on an entirely new tone, thanks to Scribe:
Dear people of the mighty Google corporation—I'd like to thank you for your new tool. I'll be using it all the time for my entries from now on, so I can spend less time thinking of proper English and trying to summon up images and metaphors and all that mess, and utilize my newly-free time in some new hobby. Like Farmville, maybe, or macrame.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... made my day!
ReplyDeleteHow useless! :-p
Esteban,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to make you chuckle, my friend!
LOL! Thanks for the Saturday morning laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis had me howling, which hurt because I had a ventral hernia repaired last week. Worth the pain since the lulz were first-rate.
ReplyDeleteSorry I missed you in Stamford...
RedPhillip
Lordy, Lordy, Lordy -- a rant brews somewhere best left undescribed. I always try to chime in at the end, so that your more concise readers can see the prattle, identify Anonicus at once, and spare themselves.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it had to happen sooner or later. A business empire takes shape, gradually loses sight of its well-intended "core values," and becomes arrogant -- hence this chimera, which someone, somewhere within Google's aptly-named ranks, must have thought a wonderful expedient. The Lively Art of Writing need not apply, nor be applied.
Computers and the Internet are two of my favorite things in the universe. But they ought not to become an excuse for losing our human perspective. (A possible exception is laughter, as was richly included.)
Years ago, I was appalled -- not "amazed, impressed or uplifted" -- to hear part of an album entitled "Virtual Mozart". The portion broadcast was impeccably performed by musicians on period instruments, from music that sophisticated computer software had used to create "new" Mozart "compositions". I instantly decided not to buy this chimera, for the larger reason that no artifice, no matter how cunningly employed, ought to distance us from our humanity. Where I am serious, of course, you are humorous, Rob; but are our attitudes so different?
Anonicus II
RedPhillip,
ReplyDeleteI'll be back there for good, soon enough. Watch those stitches, now.
Anonicus,
ReplyDeleteThat Mozart mess sounds to me like those so-called novels that spiritualists would channel from the ghosts of deceased authors, only without the supernatural hooey.
When I pass on, I hope that someone attempts to use a Ouija board to see what kind of randy adventures I'm having beyond the grave.
A bottom's dream? Yes. Likely to be replaced by a bot? No.
ReplyDeleteAll obvious reasons (and reasoning) aside, Google Scribe completely misses the mark in the first entry I read: "Software Testing Professionals"? Never is anything (or anybody) soft around you. "Small Enterprise Development"? Small? Hardly.
So much for future laziness and bonbons instead of bons mots. (But you did get one entry out of it...!)
Throb,
ReplyDeleteIt's true. I did get one short comedy routine out of it. However, I'm waiting for someone to point out that Scribe will never juice a hole the way I do.
Would that I could point that out with a personal testimonial.
ReplyDeleteHAH! Wonder how much time this could save me writing my book...
ReplyDelete-MassBear
Scribe won't juice anyone's hole, let alone as thoroughly as you do. Anonicus II is a wonder to me. I love his comments. And his point. Without the technical assist, your writing is full of humanity and rich with connections. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteJPinPDX