Sunday Morning Questions: Asshole (Not the Good Kind) Edition

I don't know whether it was the rain we've been having here in the northeast, or whether it was Mercury in retrograde (as my brother informed me), but damn, I ran across some rude men, Friday morning.

I'd logged onto Adam4Adam for maybe all of five minutes when I got this mysterious message from a local: 

Him: 200 YUSAWME YUWANTME Y N UCHUZ OK here NOSTALL 61 bodybuilder TOP Smooth ERECT My own gym YUSUKME I FUK yu decide after 195 jokers clowns skunks DOIT

I looked at the guy's profile. The comprehensible part of the message seemed to imply that he was 61 and a top. Bodybuilder . . . was debatable. Maybe if he was building his body out of marshmallow, sure. But the rest of it?

I penned a response that you'll agree was, I believe, fairly restrained:

Me: What?

And in response, got this:

Him: one word massage ASHOLE joker I called YOUIR bluff HUH NOW GET LOST GET A CAR GET A JOB the search goes on Republicains n 20012 Ill be great tonight at the club stripping11-200am What he says ASHOLE The BLOCK IS ON gye girl

Um, okay. I blocked him quickly.

The other guy at least I could understand. He didn't have a very attractive photo, and his information was at a minimum. Our conversation went thusly, to begin:

Him: hi 

Me: Good morning. 

Him: bdsm? 

Me: If you're asking if I have experience with it, the answer is yes, but it's not what I'm usually looking for. 

Him: hot think you could get into the idea of tieing me facedown spread eagled to your bed hooding me and ball gagging me and using a double headed dildo on my hole then taking a flogger to my helpless bare ass before you rape my holes? 

Me: Just so you know, I do not have a hood. I do not have a ball gag. I don't own a double-headed dildo or a flogger. My profile clearly states that I cannot host. 

I wasn't saying these things to be contentious or a smart-ass. I just encounter so many guys with these elaborate fantasies who expect me to have all the equipment and do all the work for them—and after getting it time after time, my attitude is pretty much along the lines of "Fuck that!"

He apparently thought I was trying to goad him, though, because he wrote back,

Him: I'm the one with the hood and gag don't you think it would be UNWISE to let a total stranger tie me up in my own place what would stop you or someone from ripping off my belongings and then leave me helpless to escape or scream for help or maybe even MURDER me you fucking asshole??? Is there a reason as to why you cant host for an hour or are you one of those assholes with a boyfriend whose cheating and afraid hes gonna find out what a retard you are!!!

I tried to be very polite in my response:

Me: I don't know you at all, and therefore the reasons why I cannot host are really none of your business. Further, I was not commenting on the wisdom of allowing a stranger to tie one up in one's own home. I think that would be very unwise, indeed. Instead, I was merely stating facts. If stating a few simple facts arouses such hostility, I am pretty certain we would not work out in person. Thanks, and good luck to you.

Then I blocked the fuck out him, too.

Hey, universe. I've had enough of the psychos lately. I could do without the random strangers calling me an asshole—I get enough of that from the people I know, okay?


Now, let's get to some questions from formspring.me.




have you ever slept with anyone just because you felt sorry for them

I have slept with guys because I felt sorry for them many times. I often did so because I thought it would be a genuinely charitable thing to do; I've also done it because I felt backed into a corner and didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings by saying no.

The latter is manipulation of the most passive-aggressive kind, and it happened to me so often and engendered such negative feelings that it took years before I realized how to recognize it from afar and stop it before it got to that point.

I've slept with people to cheer them up, and to offer them solace after a loss, and to make them feel better during stressful times. I've slept with guys to help them actually sleep, and out of mutual boredom, and simply because I wanted to see what they were like in bed although I had no physical attraction to them. I've even slept with guys because it was easier than talking to them.



have you ever been overseas,what nationality in your experiences are the most sexually docile & the most sexually aggressive & insatiable? do you mind the scrutiny you find yourself under due to choosing to blog?

Two very different questions!

All of my travel abroad has been, sadly, limited to the north and central Americas. I'm not sure it's really a hugely wide sample from which to make broad generalizations, but the men of Mexico were some of the most sexually aggressive I've encountered. They act as if they'll fuck anything, too.

When I visited the Dominican Republic, the men there were all quite plain that they expected to fulfill the 'feminine' role for me, as they tended to call it. I suppose they were the most submissive. Canadians like to pretend they're prudes, but boy, can they be nasty when the doors shut and the lights go out.

The scrutiny question is interesting. I don't really reveal anything in my blog that I wouldn't reveal to a trusted friend over a couple of drinks at a local watering hole. I'm not the kind of person who says online what he would never, ever allow to pass through his lips to a real, live person. At the same time, I don't really have much control over who reads my blog, which means that quite often I will encounter readers in the strangest of places in my everyday life. (Yes, there are people who recognize me with my clothes on.)

Even when that happens, I don't feel 'scrutinized.' It's just a startling moment.

What I do mind about choosing the blog are the men who write contentious comments not because they have a genuine point they wish to debate, or a even a point at all, but because they feel they want to knock me down a peg or two. I mind the people who feel entitlement to be mean and ugly simply because I post my experiences publicly. By and large, blogging has been a positive experience for me that's let me make many friends and meet all kinds of interesting people. It only takes a few psychotics to spoil all that, unfortunately.


Have you ever experienced what it's like to be 'fucked awake' while sleeping? Or tops: Have you ever did that to a bottom?

No, I have been on the receiving end of a wake-up-fuck. I did used to see a man, as I wrote in my blog long ago, who would spank me awake in the middle of the night, then fuck me.

I have taken my pleasure of men sleeping with me. They weren't sleeping for long. I used to love to wake up Spencer in the middle of the night with dick sliding into his already-slick hole.



so how do i get a pice of your arse,yes englands wet, rainy & cold but you'd never notice cos you'd be kept out of any naughtiness

This is another of those offers I'd love to accept, once you've invited me, gotten me a good flight, and have found a couple of willing bottoms to put me up for a couple of weeks!



What do you like about being a Breeder? Or maybe a better way to ask is "What does being a Breeder mean to you?"

To put it simply, I like the intimacy that comes with sharing my essence with another human being. Seed is powerful stuff; it creates life. Sharing that with someone who wants it—well, nothing is more special.



Have you ever gone backpacking? Would you like to?

I enjoy camping, so I like to think I'd enjoy backpacking too. But I'd prefer to do it in the nude, and finding spots for that is pretty tough in this country.



Planning on traveling anywhere this summer?

Most likely I'll confine myself to my new area of the country, and explore parts of the northeast I've never seen before. I'm hoping to get to Provincetown at some point, as well.