Sunday Morning Questions: Guilty Edition

I wish all my readers a happy post-Thanksgiving recovery. And yes, it's true, I did take a couple of days off, this week. It was the first time all my family's been home in over a month, and I was determined to make it count. Because that's what it's all about, right? Making it count?

At any rate, I hope to heck you guys had a great holiday. I confess to having braved the shopping madness on that retail hell known as Black Friday—though I did it safely in the late afternoon, when the fervor of it had died down a little bit, if not the crowds. What can I say? I'm a fan of that elusive beast known as The Good Bargain.

For those of you doing a little Cyber Monday shopping tomorrow, don't forget your favorite bloggers! (Subtle, right?)

As always on Sundays, today I'll be rounding up a few responses from formspring.me for your enjoyment. If you have any questions you'd like to ask, always feel free to address me anonymously there, or via my email. As long as it's not abrasively obnoxious or horribly repetitive, I'll answer. One way or another.



you are fucking someone, pull out and realize he is not clean, what do you do?
This is one of those circumstantial questions. If it's a one-on-one at my place, I might keep fucking until we're done if he's only giving off flecks of stuff. If he's runny or producing a strong smell, I'm likely to suggest he shower up or simply leave.

It's the smell that gets to me, really. The stronger the smell, the more likely I am to terminate the proceedings.


Do you ever think what your (fucking) life will be like 10 ... 20 ... 30 years from now?
I do. I keep hoping that all the sex I performed on older guys in my youth will be paid forward and that I'll continue to have a lot of fucking to do as a senior.

On the other hand, worrying too much can distract from an enjoyment of fucking in the present day. Present enjoyment should always be the first priority.



How long does it take for something new & hot to get old & stale?
I firmly believe that if you approach something with wonder and awe every time, and let that inner kid in you revel in it, it'll never get stale.

On the other hand, letting your inner cynic triumph with a "Oh, not THIS again" will make you sick of something even before you've started.


I am an avid reader of your blog and am really curious about your encounters with women. I was wondering if you would ever write about them in your blog. Sorry if this question has already come up. Thanks for sharing a part of your life with your readers.
I would if there were an interest, yes.

I used to enjoy a lot of sex with married couples, but after a weird and somewhat upsetting series of events with a particular local married couple a couple of years back, I took a step away from that particular scene. It's a shame, because I enjoyed those scenes quite a lot.


enjoy your blog.... just thought i recognized your chin.... on the piano player in the glee skits in the music room!! do you look like him!?
Not in the least.


I'm newly out -- a masculine, formerly married man in my 50s. I get a fair amount o of attention at certain bars, and guys often want me to be a top. Not sure I am, in this kid-in-candystore period. Any thoughts?
Because there are so many bottoms out there craving a good fucking, a lot of them are going to want you to be the top guy. Maybe you're not sure if that's for you--but since you're relatively new to the scene, give it a try with some of the guys you find attractive. You may find you like it.

At the same time, if you want to be topped yourself, let guys know it fairly early on in the negotiation phase. Tell men you're versatile, and looking for a totally versatile experience with them. Or let it be known that you'd like to bottom that evening.

At this stage--hell, at any stage--you should be simply enjoying yourself instead of tying yourself to one particular role and not deviating from it. Explore your options. Don't let others manipulate you into topping if you don't care to; decide for yourself what works best for you.


I never see you on Yahoo messenger anymore - it makes me sad. What gives?
I get on Yahoo all the time and nobody talks to me. That doesn't really encourage me to stick around.

I haven't been on messenger on such a regular schedule lately because I've been busy, but I've definitely been on it.


In "Fulcrum," your florist talks about "a top cock." Is dick size really destiny, in that regard?
I dont believe so. I think a lot of bottoms look at a big dick, however, and think to themselves, "That should be in me." The extrapolation, naturally, being "That guy should be a top."


I am intensely word-sensitive man, whose EARS are hardwired to my dick. "Verbal" makes me insanely hot, and you seem to be quite good at it. Any advice?
Are you trying to become verbal yourself? Or encourage your partners to become more verbal? I'm not sure which.

If the former, keep in mind that the things you say during sex should be about as much a turn-on for you as they are for the guy you're with; be sensitive to the way he's responding to your words, and mentally note what's working and what's not. The stuff that's working can be repeated, or uttered with variations, to keep up his interest.

If the latter, the direct approach might be best. Tell your partners you like a guy who talks. If it's someone you're seeing often, show him porn that typifies the kind of thing you like.


You like to rim. Do you like the scent and taste of a guy's pits, his crotch, etc. as well?
I do, very much. I like a natural scent on a guy. All I ask is that his ass is clean.


How many countries have you had sex in?
Five so far. I'm aiming for more.


Would you ever be willing to tweet a heads-up before you get on cam4? It would help me cross something off my bucket list...
Sure. I should've thought of it this morning. Or last night.


A lot of the recaps of your adventures seem to involve bottoms that like to be debased or spoken to in a derogatory manner. Rough guess at the percentage of guys that get into that?
The number of guys who don't like to be talked to during sex is pretty low. I know some men who prefer a nice, gentle quiet, or silent lovemaking, but they're in the minority. (Or sometimes we're just having sex while their wives are sleeping upstairs.)

Of the guys who enjoy being talked to during sex, there are a lot of them who enjoy being made to feel more submissive through the use of dirty language. Sometimes it can be mildly demeaning. I'd say the percentage of men who enjoy being told that they're a hot little bitch who like to give it up for daddy's big cock is pretty high--in the 80%-90% range.

Those who like their abuse more vivid and even more demeaning--sexually derogatory terms like 'faggot' or 'queer' or racial insults--are a smaller percentage of the overall pie, but it's not uncommon at all. I'd guess in the 20% range out of the total population of men I meet.

However, of the racial minorities, a larger percentage ask for and relish the abusive language than do your standard-issue white guys. I'd estimate about 40% hint at an interest in it.