Sunday Morning Questions: Idyllic Autumn Edition

Greetings, readers. It's a chilly gray autumn morning here where I live. The entire world outside my window seems to be covered in a spiky yellow fur, thanks to the ancient maple that dropped all its leaves at once, overnight. I have a sneaking suspicion that raking it all up is going to be my Sunday occupation.

My other Sunday occupation, of course, is recapping some of the questions you've been asking me on formspring.me of late. If you've got a question you'd like to ask using their interface, trek on over and feel free. You don't have to register, and it can be done completely anonymously. I'll answer just about anything that's not unduly invasive, or abusive, or repetitive. I know I've answered a lot of questions and you don't want to have to search through them all to see if I've answered them before, but trust me, I've talked about my dick size a few times already!

Of course, if you'd rather email me directly and ask your questions, use the address in the sidebar to do so. I try to respond to all my email. I still have a bit of a backlog, but I'm working my way through it!

And enjoy these autumn Sundays. We have too few of them left before the really cold stuff hits us.


How long has it been since you most recently bottomed?
Successfully? Eight long years.


What share of your total lifetime sexual encounters are you leaving behind when you sell the house?
I've lived in this house for over a decade. It's fairly safe to say it has seen hundreds of one-on-one encounters, several three-ways, and one pretty piggy six-way in the hot tub and on the deck.


If the walls of your house in Michigan could talk, what one story would you want them to tell the buyers? What one story would you NOT want them to tell?
I'd want the buyers to know that this house had seen a lot of very good times over the last decade and more—a lot of laughter, a lot of stories told, a lot of triumphs and happiness.

What I would like them to keep silent are some of the stories that men have confided to me about things they've done that no one else ever knew.


What do you do to stay fit and hot?
I appreciate your perception of my body and wish I shared it.

Basically I watch what I eat. I plan healthy meals carefully and shop for them in advance, plan my portions, and give myself some flexibility for a meal out a week where I can be a little more (carefully) indulgent.


Would you like to have a boyfriend, if you found a nice guy who could accommodate you living with your family?
In the past I've had a handful of emotionally-close lovers--and I mean that in every sense of the word--who accepted or even welcomed my home situation, and with whom I would enjoy months or even years of closeness. I entirely welcome that influence in my life.

On the other hand, finding someone who accepts me for the horndawg I am isn't easy.


You seem to have an affinity for bikini underwear (I am not complaining), but I wonder with all that you have, have you ever noticed women checking out your crotch?
Let me correct you, first. The last two pairs of underwear I gave away to guys were bikini briefs. I don't have an affinity for it. Of all the underwear I have--and I have a lot of it, so I don't have to do laundry too often (I'm lazy that way, shoot me)--it forms less than 5% of the total. Most of my shorts are either boxer briefs or, more likely, square-cut trunks.

That said, yes, I get a lot of men and women checking out my crotch, particularly when I'm showing more than usual. I'm good with that.


What objects other than willy and sex toys have you stuck in your He-pussy?
In my mid-teens, I had a number of vegetables inserted in my hole, as well as a broomstick, a nightstick, a glass Coke bottle, and a rake handle.

On a couple of those items I now wince and wonder what I was thinking.


What's the secret to hooking with you?
Being in the same general vicinity should do it, usually.


If someone you knew was dying and they were not your type (Overweight) but their dying wish was sex with you. would you do it.
I'll overlook the generalization that I don't have sex with overweight guys (I do) or the unlikelihood of anyone having a dying wish of wanting sex with me (flattering though it may be).

I honestly can't decide whether it'd be a turn-on to be Disneyworld for a dying man's plea to the Make-A-Sexual-Wish Foundation. Mostly I think the person in question might find it insulting for someone to have sex with him only as pity sex; I would hate to have someone feeling bad about an experience after it happened.


Nice sex toy wish list on stockroom. Do you currently have a favorite sex toy?
I'm kind of enjoying the Fleshjack that a friend and reader gave me, but in general my favorite sex toys are cock rings. I like the sensations of compression they produce when I'm at my hardest.


Were you a graphic artist VS a writer, what would you depict? Would you prefer any one medium or few media?
If I were to specialize in an area outside my everyday creative endeavors, I'd be doing glass work. That's where I have most of my expertise and training.


What advice do you have for an enthusiastic novice bottom about cleaning out my hole? The shit issue...
Basically, give yourself plenty of time before an encounter to get clean. Don't expect to be sparkling, inside and out, if you've got a guy coming over in ten minutes.

If you're a serious dedicated bottom, you might want to invest in a shower nozzle to douche yourself out--it'll save you some time over the rubber bulbs or bags. Use plenty of warm water and douche out your hole at least three times, pausing between rinses to evacuate your bowels. Make sure all the water's out of there, every time. When you're convinced you're clean, use soap and hot water to clean your butt and legs.

Other bottoms might have better tips for you. Cleaning out can be a time-consuming process, but your top will thank you in the end.


He holds U down by your throat & rides your cock like a whore until he takes your load from U. Or, a bttm you can hold/force face down into a bed while you pound ruthlessly until you breed him. Which scenario are you in the mood for right now?
Number two. I want to brutalize a hole tonight.


What are your favorite snacks? Beverages? (just want to be prepared if you ever come over!)
Popcorn and water will do me nicely.


In your entry "The Bump" you say "I knew at that point that I was more attracted to guys than girls." I was wondering if that was still the case, if that's been a constant thing. That might be too personal a question, just ignore it if it is. Cheers, J
I tend to be pretty wide-ranging in my attractions. I also tend to joke and say I screw around with more men and women because men are sluttier (and they are), but it's probably because there's more attraction on that end of the spectrum as well.

However, I still enjoy both genders.