Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday Open Forum: Pussy Wars

When I was a very small kid, my parents sat me down and had a talk about my genitalia and its synonyms. Penis was the preferred term for what I had between my legs, I was gravely informed. Some people were going to call it a dick, which was vulgar—not that a little vulgarity ever stopped my parents, mind you. What they absolutely frowned upon, however, was the thought of me using infantile phrases like wee wee or pee pee to describe it. In the end, they told me, it didn’t really matter what I called it in conversation. (So long as it wasn’t pee pee.) They were all just words. Penis was merely the correct term.

I was maybe four at the time. This is the kind of dinner conversation with which I grew up.

Now, my parents were a little more flexible on the words they used to describe bodily functions. My father was strictly of the number one and number two school, while my mother was a firm believer in airy euphemisms like tinkle or whizz to describe peeing, or an earthy Anglo-Saxon shit for the other stuff. I think one of the reasons they stuck to those phrases, infantile though some of them might have been, was because one of my mom’s friends was a crunchy granola whole earth type who’d taught her little tykes to use the clinically-correct terms . . . which I found absolutely hilarious. It only took a few times of me mocking them by saying, in the accent of some little British cherub of a previous century, “Mummy! I have to urinate!” or (and this was the one I thought was especially hilarious) “Father! I must defecate!” before we all settled on pee and poop as the socially-acceptable phrases to use around the house.

I’ve never known an issue that causes such a wide divide, though, as what gay men call their holes. Their buttholes, that is. There are a few terms upon which we can all agree. Butt. Ass. Hole. Butthole. Asshole. But then we start to deviate. I’ve known a couple of guys who get a little put out when it’s called a shitter or a poop chute. They don’t like to be reminded that they defecate, apparently.
Even I am likely to get a little bit smirky when someone gets too clinical during sex, and uses a phrase like rectum. It makes me want to taunt him, in Masterpiece Theatre tones, with “Mummy! This chap wants me to insert my penis into his rectum! Mightn’t I please play with his anus?” (But I don’t.)

You know what two words create the biggest divide in the gay population, though? I bet you do. Cunt and pussy.

There’s no middle ground with these words, it seems. The men who object to them do so with a vigor that’s clamorous; the men who love them identify with them with a passion.

I think it’s quite curious how a man can be one of the biggest and most passionate pigs around—he can be dressed in stinking, sopping leather, covered with sweat and urine and semen, leaking the loads of a dozen men from both holes, smelling like a horse during harvest, uttering obscenities that would make Satan himself blush like a virgin. But growl something like, Yeah, boy, give me that mancunt, and he’ll turn into the prissiest, primmest, most disagreeable little old lady ever to wipe the tip of her white lace glove across the top of a hanging photograph to make sure it’s dusted. “I do not have a—a—a C-WORD!” he will sniff and intone, pretending he’s not sitting in a puddle of bodily fluids.

These guys post their lexicon limitations in their online profiles, admonishing you in advance never, ever to use one of those forbidden words in their presences. They scold. I’ve known them to stop the proceedings dead in their tracks to give a lecture about how they refuse to be feminized . . . after a half dozen men have pounded dick into them for a couple of hours. I used to know one guy who refused to see or speak to anyone who had the temerity to use the words pussy or cunt in his presence, and would block someone online and cut them dead in person if he dared.

On the other hand, the guys who are into it, are really, really into it. If they haven’t already made a profile online with a name like WarmSloppyCuntNYC or URPussyboi, they mention in their profiles how they need their cunts stretched and their pussies opened by monster dicks. Saying the words to them inflames their libidos; you can feel their holes become less rigid and more yielding. They want not necessarily to be feminized, but to be used. They want men to open them, to invade them, to put their holes to a purpose just like that uniquely female organ.

Me? I tend to be somewhere in the middle. If a guy’s really into being called a pussy or cunt, sure. I’ll call him that. I’ll call him that a lot. If a man dislikes it—I’m not likely to bring it into dirty talk anyway, without some obvious hints dropped. I’m unlikely to refer to my own hole as my man-pussy. On the other hand, I’ve got no issue with describing the afternoon I lost my virginity as being cunted.

Forty-five years after I learned about my penis, the point’s pretty much the same to me—they’re all just words.

How about you guys? Where do you stand in the lexicon battles that are the pussy wars? Speak up in today’s open forum and let everyone know!

16 comments:

  1. Perhaps I'm one of the few middle ground guys. I can take it or leave it. While I would never refer to someones ass, rectum or butt hole as a pussy or cunt, it doesn't bother me much if they want to do it. Just don't hit me over the head with it.

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  2. First, I dislike the word Penis, you just know a woman came up with that one. What man would give a sissy sounding word like 'penis' to his man sword.....lol

    I've always thought pussy/cunt were interesting words since they are associated with a female body part that gay men want nothing to do with once they come through one at birth.

    And while some really fem guys might seem natural to use pussy/cunt, it is a surprise when you see real 'manly men' types using it.

    Just shows how when the horny genes become active, the true inter self comes out.

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  3. Some day I will be hot and sweaty with a man and yell out, "Yeah man, ram my manpussy!" Yes, it sounds a cheap gay porn line but the thought of it turns me on nonetheless.

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  4. Ass, period. Although butt and hole may apply also. :-)

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  5. I got turned into the bottom I am on the raw dicks of bi married men. They frequently used the words cunt and pussy, so I bonded to them. I am like you though - you have to careful where you tread in this linguistic mindfield.

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  6. I'm probably in the minority, but I don't even use the c- and p- words when referring to women. They are vulgar and disgusting, across the board, and especially as to men. I want a man to be a man and not adopt anything female at all. Now as to what a man wants to call his equipment OTHER than that, I don't have too many scruples. "Penis" has always sounded prissy and clinical to me. Perhaps it's a function of my Anglo-Saxon and German heritage, but I prefer the more direct terms "cock" and "dick." Even the Greek "phallus" is better than "penis." The sexual meaning of "cock" is very old, going back to the Proto-Germanic word "kukkaz" meaning a “bulge" or "swelling.” One of the best things about being a man is having that organ that swells and hardens when presented with what the mind (or subconscious) perceives as a chance to deliver our seed to fertile ground.

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  7. My partner hates the words. Huge turn-off for him. Even in porn. My first instinct is to giggle, actually... Especially with a man- prefix, like man-cunt. But I think it depends on the guy. I wouldn't normally pull that out in the throws, ut guys that do are really turned on by it and, in turn, gets me turned on.

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  8. In real life, I call my rectum--ass and asshole. Hanging out with gay friends I have jokingly called it a mangina. When I'm having sex and men are fucking me. I use ass, asshole, pussy, cunt, man cunt. It excites me, but for me those names that I call my rectum when I'm having sex are just words that are used to ignite further passion in me when I'm being fucked. If a guy wants to call my ass and ass, I'm all for it because it's his raw cock and cum that I want up inside my rectum.

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  9. Spanish doesn´t allow such wordplay, If anyone would use anything-cunt/pussy I think I'll wait until he almost reach his climax and then leave.

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  10. I don't like feminizing my ass or your's either. I'm a gay man not a lesbian or transgendered person.

    Women have both a cunt/pussy/va jay jay and an asshole etc. Pussy's/Cock's et all are for peeing, asses are for shitting and both are for fucking or being fucked. Could you imagine the confusion a women would have if she told you to fuck her pussy and you fucked her ass instead? LOL

    If you want to do it that's fine. I'm fine with what ever you want to do in your sex life but if it involves me, I have turn-ons and turn-offs and calling my/your ass a pussy or cunt is one of them. I also hate calling cum baby-makers.

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  11. I like the word cunted when refering to a man being fucked or a football team getting their butts whipped by a big score. Other than that, I like men being men--getting their ass or butt fucked if receiving or putting the blocks or laying the pipe if doing the fucking. hal

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  12. To me, cunts and pussies are for women. Calling assholes "man-holes" or whatever is like calling your partner "honey sweetie pie pie" - sweet, like burnt caramel.

    anonymous tony

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  13. One interesting thing I've discovered from reading is that FTMs-- women who have transitioned their bodies to being male-- who still have their native genitalia seem to loathe having them called pussies or cunts-- even though they ARE! (I only know one semi-personally and have never slept with one though so my impression might be warped.) I've fucked a few women in my time and enjoyed it, and I can tell you that if a hot hairy FTM dude had a cunt I would be all over it, saying "LET ME FUCK THAT CUNT" over and over, but I guess he'd just end up hitting me over the head and running out of there. Genuine tang is a pretty amazing thing to fuck.

    Contrariwise, I find "manpussy" and "mancunt" rather annoying terms that don't turn me on at all; they're actually pretty ridiculous to me. I once fucked a guy who kept saying over and over "You're turning me into a total pussyboy" as I played with his nips, and that kinda got my motor running-- he sounded so helplessly melted when he pronounced the word "pussyboy." But I guess that's a little different. In the end, I have no interest in pretending an ass is anything other than an ass.

    I guess I'm just not big on pretending at *all*.

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  14. AFTER A GOOD BASHING MANY MANS ARSES LOOK LIKE CUNTS/PUSSY.........OBVIOUS THAT THEY GET REFERRED TO AS SUCH....IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAKING A MAN'S SHOOTER FEMININE....SAY THE WORD 'CUNT' OUT LOUD, DOES THAT EVEN SOUND GIRLY....? USE AS YOU LIKE.... THEY ARE INDEED ONLY WORDS...AND FOR THOSE WHO TAKE OFFENCE...THEY ARE CUNTS......

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  15. I don't like it in public. However, in the heat of sex I like a verbal partner. Tell me how much you love fucking my ass, pussy, cunt. Just put that hard penis up my hole.

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  16. I love my ass called pussy or cunt before,during and after being FUCKED.It just turns me on and makes me want to Fuck as many guys as I can find Mike

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