Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Toy

I’ve bottomed four times in the last six months. Twice for the Russian, once for Tim the senior, and once in a group encounter I’ve not recorded yet. It’s something of a giant leap for me—the number is four hundred percent more than I had bottomed in more than a half-dozen years prior.

I’m not suddenly turning into a big old bottom dad or anything, trust me. That isn’t on my agenda. It has been kind of nice, though to be able to go into an encounter knowing that if some handsome man or sweet boy plays with my hole, I can choose to roll over and present my butt. For years, thanks to my own fears and misgivings, that wasn’t even an option.

It’s always nice to have options.

After the Russian wrecked my hole in March, though, I limped back to Grand Central feeling as if my intestines had been turned inside out. For days I was sore and tender down there. A pleasant kind of tender, to be sure. The kind of ache accompanied by glowing memories. But at the time, I thought to myself, You know, I’ve really got to do something about acclimating myself to that monster dick.

Over the next few days I parsed my memories of the experience of the Russian fucking me to find out the parts I really needed to work on. What it pretty much boiled down to is that my most uncomfortable moments had to do with the initial penetration. I would tense up when the Russian fingered my hole, or jammed lube in with his fingers. Sure, some of the discomfort probably had to do with his passion and impetuous desire to get inside me as quickly as possible, but a lot of it simply arose from the novelty. I might rub the outside of my hole on a daily basis in the shower, to get it clean, but I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d fingered myself.

Luckily, that was easily taken care of. A couple of sessions in the shower with a bottle of lube, and I was getting my fingers inside me as easily as I could slip them inside some eager hole. Not that tough at all.

I needed to do something more, though. The Russian’s dick is a hell of a lot bigger than a finger. I went online and browsed through some penetrative sex toys, hoping to find something that could help me get more accustomed to the sensations of having something hard and stiff slide inside me. I looked at dildos and considered a couple, but was easily intimidated. I checked out some smaller butt plugs and thought they looked intriguing. And then I saw the Aneros.

The Aneros advertises itself as a prostate stimulator. It’s curved to reach the prostate. It has a handle at the base to aid removal, and projecting knobs that stimulate the perineum from the outside. Basically, it looks like a designer door hook you’d buy at Target. And whatever it calls itself, it’s a god damned butt plug.

I looked at the product’s web site and rolled my eyes at the over-enthusiastic forums, where people were posting rave comments about how the Aneros had been utterly life-changing, and where a lot of users were comparing notes on things called “P-Waves” and “Super-O’s.” (They’re apparently not breakfast cereal brands.) But I had known a couple of people in the past who’d bought the first iterations of the toy, and they’d loved it, so I tossed out a little cash and thought to myself, What the fuck.

The Aneros arrived a few days later. I looked at it, compared its rather diminutive size to some of the dicks I took in my teen years, compared it to the hulking girth of the Russian, and mentally nicknamed it the Wee Willy Winkie. But later that night I hopped in the shower and cleaned myself inside and out, threw a towel onto the bed, got out the lube, and figured I’d pop it in for a minute or two. I greased it up, slid it in, was pleased that I didn’t have much discomfort getting it in there, and then let it sink down to the base.

And oh my god.

The rest of this entry is going to sound like I’m shilling a product for a paid ad, so let me assure you I’m not. When the head of that Aneros hit my prostate, it immediately started sending stimulation up my spine in a way I’d never before experienced. It was a bit like the good moments during a fuck, all combined and assaulting me at once. It was a lot like the tingle I feel when someone makes me blush furiously—how the rush of sensation and pleasure comes from nowhere and wraps around my neck and midsection like a tight, hot girdle.

For years I’d known some of my better fucks claiming to have anal orgasms, and I never quite understood what they were like. No one had ever given them to me, when I’d been a bottom. After the Aneros went in, I was actually pretty sure I understood what those bottoms had meant. I lay there on the bed, gently drawing up one knee and then the other as I rocked my hips back and forth. I spread my legs and and drew up my heels, and gently thrust into the air, just to enjoy the sensations. My cock was rock-hard the entire time, but I wasn’t masturbating myself very often, or with the intent of shooting. I was just enjoying the sensations, and riding on a wave of pleasure. (I don’t know whether I was having P-Waves or Super-O’s. Personally, I think they sound gimmicky.)

When finally I took out the Aneros, I felt like a million bucks. I’d intended to leave it in for five minutes. I left it in there for two hours.

Two fucking hours. The first time.

I’ve used it several solitary times since, and I’ve decided that I most enjoy it when I insert it and simply concentrate on the sensations. I can watch porn, or chat dirty to someone online, grind a bit, and come away feeling tingly and satisfied. I’ve tried having orgasm while it’s in there, but they’re intense—intense to the point that they’re more painful than pleasurable, but they certainly leave you feeling as if your pipes have been cleared.

Now, a plastic and silicone toy is no substitute for warm human flesh. Nothing is going to substitute for a good and attentive lover who knows what he’s doing. A toy can’t engage in intimacy with you, or touch your body, or kiss your neck. But you know, to a top guy who has on many occasions been mystified at what bottoms feel when they’re really enjoying a fuck, it has been a great tool.

I kind of get it, now.

I kind of want to get it, too.


  1. I just clicked over to Aneros and saw there was more then one, so which one did you buy?

    You are right, while self pleasure with an anal toy can be fun, it doesn't take the place of the real thing. But it can help.

    I used to have a 10" hard as a rock with mushroom head boyfried who by the time he got in me was ready to cum. Then he started using a dildo to loosen me up to take him and not only did that give me pleasure, but it make him last long which gave me even more and longer pleasure.

    But now it's nice to know someone who has used this product and to find out something other then a long straight dildo can be used. And a dildo never gave the sensations as you described :-)

  2. Oh, I forgot to ad that you started the blog saying you have bottomed four times the last six months. That was sort of a question I was going to ask on formspring (but couldn't).

    The question was going to be: Since you are now in your 40's can you look back and know so far in life do you think you have taken more cocks as a bottom or used your cock more as a Top?

    Maybe you can answer that in one of your Sunday Q&A blogs.

  3. Welcome to Aneros land! I've had on for several years now. I find that the most pleasurable thing is to insert it, lie on my left side, and do nothing active. You will soon establish a feedback loop between the toy and your prostate, and it's like nothing you have ever done before.

    Try it, you'll like it!

  4. Try leaving it in while you top.

  5. As soon as I saw the word Aneros I broke into a wide smile. I'm glad you got one, enjoyed it (understatement?) and wrote about it in your inimitable style. I have the first version and love it. Sounds like they have really improved it. Welcome to the club!

    Kip T.

  6. "For years I’d known some of my better fucks claiming to have anal orgasms, and I never quite understood what they were like. No one had ever given them to me, when I’d been a bottom." Given the amazing sexual history that you have shared with us, those were the most shocking two sentences that you have ever written! With my very limited sexual experience I never imagined that I knew an orgasm that you did not. Welcome to the world of anal!

  7. Agree..agree... I have found that a slightly more homespun device is very effective. The first part is an rubber bulb/valve pump inflator and plastic tube that came with a Titan inflatable latex buttplug. After the inflatable latex cover on the buttplug cracked I replaced the business end with a simple disposable balloon affixed on the tube by a rubber band wound tight enough to prevent air leakage. The result is an adjustable size prostatic stimulator. Uh...lots of pleasure is all I can say.

    1. This. The Aneros doesn't quite hit my spot the way the inflater does. I could inflate and deflate that thing all day long. I had exactly one buddy with the perfect-sized dick (about 7 inches, thick) that actually gave me an anal orgasm. My prostate must be further in then most guys. Very often when I get fucked by a big dick, I cum immediately as soon as the head pokes my spot.

  8. Thanks for sharing! I had been interested in one of these toys but now that you've reviewed it I feel that I can safely invest in an Aneros.

  9. which version of 'the toy' though did you get?

  10. I've had two models of the Aneros, mainly out of the desire for prostate stimulation so enthusiastically discussed in their forum and experiences like yours. The first one I used sporadically with no notable results. Bought another model, thinking it might be a better connection. The forum users recommended using it several times a week for a while. I did for several months with same disappointing results. Actually, "disappointing" is too strong. The experience is mildly pleasant, for me, but not orgasmic in any way. I chalk it up to being hardwired in a different way. I do long for that kind of inner electricity.

  11. I've never been a big fan of anal sex but feel that I'm missing out. Especially seeing how some guys get off on it. I've been tempted to try the Aneros but felt their forum would only be by those who were successful or simply fake. Adam seems to bear that out a but since our favorite Breeder gave it a thumbs up (or was that...), I'm thinking it's worth a shot. Thanks everyone.


  12. I've been using the Aneros devices since 2005, and have had some very pleasurable experiences with them. Yes, the Holy Grail for Aneros users is the Super-O--orgasms that can cause muscle spasms, practically falling off of the bed. If you want to see what one of these things to do to someone who is really tuned into them and wired in just the right way, check out this 20-minute video: http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=9GtG3-J553-

    Personally I've been a bit disappointed by the Aneros, but not because there's anything wrong with the products. I own nearly the entire product line and have introduced them to a number of other guys, with various results. But I think my many years on antidepressants may have affected the neural pathways that would be needed to get me over the edge and to the point of the Super-O. I've come close a few times, but just can't seem to get all the way. I'm not complaining, though. I think they have been a worthwhile investment.