Friday, August 2, 2013

Adventures in Craigslist

I recently decided to give Craigslist a try again. Twice, in fact. A couple of local friends of mine had claimed great success with the m4m ads there, and something about the site has to keep compelling people to come back, right?

I guess none of you will probably be surprised at all to hear that my ventures into the East Coast of Craigslist-land were just as spectacularly unsuccessful as in the midwest. Oh darn. I’ve gone and given away the whole plot of this entry!

Many of my readers know that although I’ll follow just about any road that leads to sexual adventure, there are still a couple of areas unexplored. That’s mainly because they’re unusual enough that it’s difficult to find a partner to help out with them. One of these, of course, is my oft-shared fantasy of being blindfolded and restrained by a bottom I trust, and then of being used as a top by that bottom—or, in my more wild imaginings, by a number of unknown bottoms. A kind of reverse gang-bang, if you will. I’ve had several guys offer to put it together for me, but so far no one’s pulled through. (Will it work if I sigh heavily, gaze off into the distance, and say, I guess nobody loves me? Because although I dislike passive-aggression, I’ll queue it up if it works.)

What I decided to advertise on Craigslist was a variation on that theme, essentially. I wrote an ad asking for someone to play dominant bottom to my submissive top. Now, having control, and exercising it, is part of my daily diet as a top. I’m used setting the pace and the agenda of a tryst; I’m totally accustomed to telling my partner what I expect of him and how he should accomplish it.

I utterly get off on knowing that when I give an order, it’ll be obeyed. And it will be obeyed. I feel territorial pride about the holes I fuck, and I love knowing that if there’s anything I want from a guy, all I have to do is tell him. He’ll comply. Asking a bottom to dom me isn’t merely something that rubs against the grain; it’s almost so much against my natural instincts in the bedroom that it’s unimaginable. Forbidden. Definitely erotic. Ceding control, a quality that as a natural top I prize, has the tang of the taboo.

So I wrote up the ad. Included my stats. Stated plainly that I was looking for an assertive bottom who wanted to control a top. Included a photo that showed the most of my assets, by which I mean my smile, of course. (And my junk.) Very clearly said that I’d only be replying to responses that were relevant to what I was looking for. And I stated that furthermore I’d only be replying to guys who included photos with their response.

Twice I did this. Twice. In one of the largest Craigslist markets out there.

And in response I got:
- Approximately thirty-five responses from guys saying i want u to hold me down and facefuck the shit out of me;
- In the area of twenty-five to thirty responses that said hot dick r u dom?;- About twenty replies of dubious relevance that didn’t include a photo;
- Another dozen that contained face pictures that looked like they’d been culled from the FBI Most Wanted bulletin board in the post office; and,
- Three offers to make money from home safely and easily with no investment required!
Out of all the responses I had to my ad, exactly one seemed suitable. A guy in Brooklyn sent me some shirtless photos that would’ve made any of my readers sit up and take notice. He was fit, furry, and masculine. He had a meaty, round ass. He was all bottom, he told me. He’d had fantasies of having a top who’d do his bidding in the sack, and who’d wear a leather collar and call him dad. He wanted to be in control. He could host.

Well of course I replied back to the guy. We swapped two emails and batches of photos, and he told me he’d be back in touch when he got back from his vacation.

Then I never heard from him again.

Ordinarily I’d be positive about the results. I did, after all, get a reply from a hot guy I liked who seemed to understand what I was looking for. He didn’t follow through, but hey. I was close. That’s encouraging, right?

In the wake of over a hundred replies, though, that one near-miss isn’t even looking too hot. Maybe I’ll try again in the future and hope for a new batch of Craigslist viewers. Maybe I’ll try somewhere else.
Or maybe I’ll just set aside the scenario as the stuff of fantasy. If it’s ever meant to happen, it’ll happen.


  1. Fucking Craigslist! It's a lot of fun if you don't take it serious.

    It reminds me of fishing. You just never know what bait to throw out there, and then you never know what you are actually reeling in, until it lands in your boat.

    But, I have to be honest. If it wasn't for Craigslist, I'd still be a sexless.

    I'll take those 1-in-100 odds, as it beats the 0-in-0 odds I had before I discovered hooking up via CL.

    Thanks again to you Rob. Your stuff is alway a good read. ALWAYS!

  2. I wonder how much of this can be blamed on a culture of "look at the pictures, don't internalize what's actually written" or perhaps the capitalist mentality of see "what you want and haggle over the asking price."

    In any event, never give up on your dream. When it's meant to happen, it will happen. I have faith in the power of your peen.

  3. So as someone who normally doms, and who's used to getting what you want, aren't you at least tempted to go the "you WILLl dominate me, you WILL make me do everything you say, and you will damn well like it!" route?

  4. I'm convicted that if you put an ad in the paper looking to buy a 57' blue Chevy convertible, you'll get people calling you wanting to know if you want to buy their maroon 82' speed boat. People are just to stupid in the world to pay attention.

    But on the other hand, I can understand since your ad said the magic word 'Top', that bottoms would ask you to hold them down and face fuck them in case you were interested in that if you don't get what you want in the ad.

    While for them it doesn't hurt to try, for you seeing response emails and getting your hopes up isn't fun and sadly disappointing.

    That's the problem with a large metro area, there are so many ads, that guys looking at craiglist will just click on ads with photos only and respond per photo only and not by text content.

    Try again with a catchy title and no photo, maybe serious people will read first and then you can exchange photos.

  5. I'm surprised, while you were in Michigan, that you never enlisted FelchingPisser to help you set up a scene like this. The idea of it is very hot!

    A few years back, I met up with a confirmed bottom in an AOL chat room (anyone remember those?). He had many other interests as well as getting fucked (he's the first guy I ever fisted in a private setting). He introduced me to restraint also, and while I was tied down and blindfolded, he sat on my dick on and off, when he wasn't pissing in my mouth or sprinkling me with hot wax. It was pretty exciting, I must say! It wasn't quite what you're looking for, but I'm not a confirmed top like you are!

    Paul, NYC

  6. CL!
    While most of the experiences I've had have been pretty good...the sheer amount of wading thru fakes and flakes, then actual people who want to play email tag, it's a lot of time invested or wasted, depending what mood you are in!

  7. I used to have pretty good luck with Craigslist-- I could definitely dangle out my dick and be guaranteed of a blowjob, at least, but I'd say the highest quality ass I ever had I got on Craigslist. Something's changed in the past year or year and a half, though, and I dunno if it's because of apps like grindr and stuff, or what, but I am left feeling like all those great dudes who were fucking like crazy a little while back are somewhere else now and haven't told me where. It could be age, but is turning from 43 to 44 really a major milestone? There even seem to be fewer ads there than there used to be, and fewer people on sites like Manhunt. Am I imagining things? WHERE IS ALL THE FUCKING

  8. Is that really that out there of a request? I mean, I would imagine the gang-bang part would be difficult to organize... But not even one person will assist with a one-on-one session? Where have all the adventurous people gone? Me and my boyfriend tie each other up every now and then, mind you usually the bottom is tied up... Sounds fun though. We'll have to give it a try.

    Anyway, thanks for the stories! Love reading them!