Sunday Morning Questions: The Home-Cooked Edition

The dinner: sliced pomelo, salad green, pan-seared salmon, and roasted asparagus. The chef: not me!

When I'm with my loved ones, I'm usually the cook of the house. I'm a fairly decent home chef who prefers to know what ingredients are going into his meals—which also means I have a tendency to bake things like bagels, breads, and cakes as well, or make my own yogurt and salsa, or to keep a constant supply of home-simmered black beans in the fridge. One isn't going to leave my table feeling like one's leaving the Top Chef set, by any means, but at least the meal will usually have been tasty, and largely from scratch.

Last night, however, Spencer decided he wanted to cook his first dinner for me, in my kitchen. He arrived home with an armful of groceries and very sweetly proceeded to use every baking dish, bowl, pan, cutting board, knife, and colander I own to make a dinner just for me. I had to step in and butcher the fish for him and place it in the pan because he's frightened of raw flesh (I know . . . my mind was overflowing with things to say there, too), and I did dishes all along the way because I didn't want to have to face a mound of them at the evening's end, but over the course of the two and a half hours we ate the various courses, I got to sit back and have them served. Just because someone wanted to take care of me.

It was a luxury. And very sweet.

It's Sunday, and you know what that means: I catch up on more of your questions from formspring.me, the service that allows you to ask me anonymous questions—whether they're advice, or a personal query, or something that's just on your mind. I'll answer anything that's not repetitive or invasive, so long as you remember one simple rule: just because it's anonymous doesn't give you license to be a dick to me. That's not too much to ask, is it?


How old were you when you realized your cock was turning out a lot bigger than average?
I was about seven and a half inches when I was 14. That would be when I glanced down between my legs while sucking dick in a marathon session at the park and realized that I was already longer than most of the grown men I was blowing, and bigger than anyone in my family as well.

At that age my dick was still a lot thinner, though. I didn't get to about my full size until I was sixteen.


Have you ever told someone you love him, but got the wrong answer back? What did he say?
I once knew a guy who was incredibly kind to me when my father was in the hospital for a series of operations. Not only did we have fairly intense sex, but he had a lot of good advice about my dad's health as well.

When my dad was released a couple of weeks later, I wrote my friend a letter thanking him for his kindness and telling him that I loved him for getting me through a bad time. I made clear that I meant a grateful, friendship kind of love. However, the letter apparently freaked him out so badly that he refused to talk to me ever again. When I ran across him three or four years later, he pretended not to know me.

It's a shame that the word 'love' is a burden to so many people, especially when it's offered in the spirit of admiration.


Did you read the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan?
I did not. Why do you ask?


I take it you are a bi married guy - what's the secret to staying discreet and still playing safely and having fun?
Take me as you will. I think the secret to maintaining a relationship while playing with others is simply to be considerate of your primary partner. Sneaking around, missing family events or meals in the name of sex, lying sloppily--they're all going to make your life a misery.

Sex is recreational. In your list of priorities, treat it as such.


So your wife isn't the least bit suspicious about your activities? *not jinxing you*
This question makes a couple of assumptions, one of them being that any activities in which I indulge are dishonest, and therefore worthy of suspicion.

You know how the popular saying goes about what happens when you assume something.


Do you think people on twitter that you follow and that follow you back really pay attention to you or do you think they just follow to have followers?
I don't think there's any right or wrong way to use Twitter. There are some ways that are more obnoxious than others--using bots to spam people who mention a product you sell, for example, or trying to lure people into joining sex sites through provocative avatars while providing little commentary or content.

But people who follow merely for the hope of accumulating a lot of followers? They have every right to bolster their ego that way. I'm glad it doesn't take much to make them happy.


You've made some gamer references. What have you played, and what are you still into?
I am a huge World of Warcraft player, and have been for about five years. It's that game into which I've sunk more gaming time than any other. I have played a lot of consoles over the years, starting with the Atari 2600 I had in middle and high school and moving through various Nintendo products to the current day.

However, I haven't spent much time with console games in the last couple of years. I tend to find my attention span is suited more toward games I can play in short, satisfying bursts--Puzzle Quest 2, with which I am currently obsessed, is an example.

I'm also very fond of board and strategy games; Carcassonne is a favorite. I play it on my iPad a lot, along with Reiner Knizia's Medici and Ra.



my boyfriend is younger and very dominant and has fucked me over 3000 times over the years as this has gone on I've got more and more compliant and passive to the point he does what he wants no matter how humiliating do all bottoms go like this?
No, they don't. But there's nothing wrong with you or your relationship because you have.


Have you ever considered adapting your writings for publication, either in book form or on a forum like "Nifty Erotic Stories"?
I don't really believe that submitting my writings to Nifty is much of a step up in credibility, to be honest.

I have considered collecting entries into book form. However, there's a fundamental difference between journal entries and a book format; overcoming the challenge of how to adapt one into the other is what keeps me from pursuing it actively.


In retrospect, was your whoring around in your youth something that was good for you growing up, or was it overall impact your life in a negative way?
I really have little to say that's negative about my youthful experiences. My teenaged sluttiness helped me mature in ways that was far beyond most of my peers, and gave me a perspective into human behavior that I wouldn't have ordinarily experienced. It helped me get a rational and sentiment-free view of sex that's served me well.

In short, it made me the man I am today, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

I'm aware that some people look askance at my youthful exploits and prefer to see it in terms of 'abuse' or 'molestation.' I would never apply those words to any of my own experiences, however, and I resent it when other people attempt to impose that kind of narrative over my own.


So, have you tried cialis? Man, that stuff makes me sore - a noted side effect, but I think it has more to do with all the pounding you have to do with the hardon it gives you.. for 36 hours.
I tried Viagra once and didn't really notice a difference in erection persistence or strength. I am fortunate not to have problems in that area, so far. I haven't tried any other erection-related pharmaceuticals.