Saturday, September 4, 2010

A Statement of Policy

One of the questions I used to get with frequency—though I haven't received it lately, for some reason—had to do with my blog's veracity. Usually it would be phrased in the form of, Come on, tell the truth, how much of this shit you write about is real? Because apparently if I were making it all up, I'd tumble like a house of cards before the confrontational tone and confess that I was twenty years older than I claim and a neurotic near-virgin with access to a good imagination and a thesaurus.

But no, everything I write about is right out of my life. It's the real, non-fictional deal. The events I describe are encounters I have from week to week—or from my past, if they're clearly indicated as being from previous years. The photos are mine. People who meet me in person will tell you (or at least I hope and think they will) that there's very little dissonance between my online persona and the type of guy I am when I'm sitting across a table from you in a bar or coffee shop, telling a story about my life. I therefore don't have a lot of vested interest in trying to persuade anyone I'm a super-stud, or a beast on the prowl, or a pick-up artist with an unparalleled track record.

I simply am what I am, and I lay that all out here, without apologies.

There are aspects of reality I fiddle with in my entries, I readily admit. One of the most frequent accusations I receive, mostly made in a veiled way, is along the lines of, "Nobody can shoot as many times as you in a single encounter!" I'm afraid I do. Yet I have on a couple of occasions—only two come to mind—fibbed about the number of orgasms I've had, in an entry.

I don't exaggerate them, though. I've cut climaxes out. In the "Cunt" entry, for example, I think I wrote about giving Cunt's hole two loads, when in reality I gave him three. I chopped one out because I was running short on writing time, and because occasional suggestions of exaggeration made me self-conscious about shoe-horning in the third orgasm, even though it took place.

Otherwise, the details I change are circumstantial. The names of individuals, for example, or their professions sometimes. I've altered the descriptions of a couple of people who would've been extremely distinctive otherwise. I eliminate information they might tell me that would give away an identity. In other words, I tend to be pretty protective in a lot of ways of my sexual partners. I don't want anyone harassed, or recognized, or singled out, because of the careless remarks of some random bareback blogger.

The other line of questioning I get most frequently—and as the questions about the 'realness' of my blog have gone down, these have increased—have to do with my family and home life. A lot of men are fascinated by what they imagine my situation must be. If I'm protective of my sexual partners, I'd like to say that I'm even more so of my nearest and dearest. That's why, as open as I tend to be about my picaresque sexual life, I tend not to talk very much about my home life with readers.

I will say this: I ask my readers, however, to check their assumptions at the door when they think about my home life. I've had all kinds of fantasies projected upon me, from treacherous cheat to anything-goes swinger. I'm not really one to conform to those archetypes. Don't assume that my home life is built upon any of them, and most especially don't assume that it's built on a foundation of lies and deceit. Your assumptions are likely to be wrong, if you do.

I'm writing this admission not to discourage people from writing me, or asking questions on formspring.me, or reaching out in any way. Rather, I'm hoping to explain why sometimes I discard or evade a very small handful of questions of the many asked of me. If they overstep that one boundary I try to maintain, you may find me weaselly, and I apologize for it. If the questions are outright aggressively invasive, I will probably ignore them altogether. I recognize and honor your curiosity. I merely reserve the right to keep some things to myself.

I'm also writing this non-sexual entry because I'm fundamentally lazy. It'll be easier in the future to point readers and correspondents here than it would be to type out my reasoning, every single time.

Thanks for bearing with me today, and enjoy your Labor Day weekend!

17 comments:

  1. Well that entry spoke to me - intended or not - as I had left a question on Formspring regarding the part of your life you are very protective of.

    Thanks for addressing the issue - I wasn't sure if the Formspring thing worked.

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  2. JFBreak,

    I truly doubt it spoke ONLY to you, as I've had all kinds of questions from all kinds of people over the months. I don't wish to squash anyone's curiosity or prevent them from asking questions. That's far from my intent. And I admit that I'm a little more open about answering questions from a direct email than I am on formspring (where I'm pretty open!).

    I'm not registering automatic disapproval of people who ask questions I prefer not to answer, either. I'm actually fine with the questions, so long as people are fine with the fact that I do maintain some boundaries.

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  3. Well stated, as always, brother. Your honesty and directness are prizes to cherish, along with your open-minded attitude and clarity about what you will and won't respond to here.

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  4. Thanks, Doc Rob. I'm glad people are taking the statement in the way I intended.

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  5. I for one are grateful that you are weasly sometimes. It makes it easier to fantasise about maybe one day having sex with you knowing you are discreet. As for protecting your family, well, that's a given.

    James

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  6. oops... I "are"? Forgive the bad grammar and bad punctuation!

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  7. Hello, Breeder. It amazes me how by simply reading your entry - any entry - I feel like you are here talking to me.

    Have a wonderful weekend! xoxo

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  8. James,

    Thanks. I don't think it should be all that hard to fantasize about me!

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  9. I have to say I definitely wonder what your family situation is & am glad you took the time to write this entry. You've been vulnerable...or maybe the word is open in so many of your entries. I respect your privacy. I'm not giving up hope that one day you will let us know more your home life though. :-)
    HON
    https://twitter.com/hangoutnude

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  10. I've never once doubt it was real or your experiences were real. for those out there that do ask yourself whats the difference. Its an amazing read so sit back and enjoy. And as far as changing a few things...who wouldnt expect you to do that. You have a life to live like everyone else

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  11. Your Master of Prissy Prose is inspired with "choice" commentary.

    I will not, can not weigh your motives. I can, however, state how I see the person beneath the personae, such as they are. (We ALL have them.) Erotically, if not otherwise physically, I see an interesting breed (!) of Alpha male. (Never did I question your endowments or staying power, as I find them uncommon, but within personal experience.) Psychologically/spiritually, however, I see you as differing from said type. And I hasten to add, thank the Stars! Allelujia! As nearly any "adult entertainment" for gays proves, most of us find macho personae powerfully attractive; and many of us seek, in one or another way, to emulate them. Yet I wager that I am anything but alone, in sharing how repulsively insensitive the Alpha male's psyche can be. Now, you might be more competitive than this journal gives us to understand. But you have learned to channel a native sensitivity in ways that spare us testosterone's obnoxious downside. (BTW: The stereotypical "bitchy/catty queen" -- unlike the het alpha male -- does not lack sensitivity, to me. [S?]he only misapplies, abuses it.)

    Despite your assertion, I find an apologetic tone, here and there, in today's entry. And I can only say thank you, as this shows how unreasonable it would be to charge you with the egotism of others who fall into saying, "I don't apologize for it." (Hail, Camille Paglia!)

    And so: Is this policy statement "lazy"? What is "intelligently lazy" is also efficient and effective. You have given the issues discussed enough careful thought that you are, indeed, only avoiding repetition -- which interests no one. I would charge someone who has not written with care and reflection, and who hopes to censure just and future criticism, with laziness -- not you, Rob.

    Pompous Anonicus

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  12. You are the NBR1!! You are the best blogger in this category!!
    Hope u had a nice weekend.

    I just came home from a boring Barhopping night here in WH:-S

    Lucas

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  13. HON,

    The day a man's curiosity is dead for good is the day he should just pack it all up and in. Thanks for your support, though. And when are we hanging out, nude?

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  14. Chris Pack,

    I'm glad you've been enjoying. Keep reading, my friend!

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  15. Lucas,

    I hope you had a good night bar-hopping. I'm sure the guys were hopping all over you.

    Enjoy your Labor Day!

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  16. I cannot believe that no one mention you "chopping" out orgasms! Or "shoe-horning" them in! I laughed over that! And have only one administrative suggestion: adding a link to this post in your "More About the Breeder" section, simply for expediency's sake.
    JPinPDX

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