Sunday, June 17, 2012

Sunday Morning Question: Bingo! Edition

From time to time, my sets of blog friends and real life friends overlap and collide. There was one memorable instance after I first started blogging here, a couple of years back, when I got a fan letter from someone who said some very nice things, and then enclosed a few photos of himself.

He looked familiar. Very familiar, in fact. He was a professor at Yale with whom I'm friends. I wrote him back to say, Um, we know each other, you know.

I know to a lot of my readers that sounds like an absolute nightmare. One of the recurring phobias that a lot of readers present me is their fear that someone might recognize them here—they're afraid to post a comment because someone might recognize it as theirs. They're afraid to send in a photo for publication in case their boyfriend/girlfriend/mother/sister/grandmother/spouse might identify them by a microscopic pimple on their backside.

In my case, though, it just led to the two of us becoming even better friends. Saturday morning, my buddy stopped through town so we could catch up and have breakfast together. We'd been talking for a couple of hours when, in a gently-affronted manner, he mentioned someone we both knew who had used him as a reference on a job application, without asking.

"Well," I said. "You have to admit. It sounds impressive as a reference. Yale Professor!" I neglected to remind him that when I'd sent around some teaching resumes last autumn, I'd included him as a reference for just that reason. (I asked first!) "It just sounds good. I touched a Yale Professor." I poked him across the table, on the arm. "I'll never wash this fingertip again!" Then I coyly stuck it in my mouth and sucked it.

My friend kind of rolled his eyes at me.

But I was on a roll. "Yale Professor is like a space on the Sexual Bingo card," I riffed. "Right next to, I don't know. Astronaut, and College Quarterback. Only two more in a row to go for Sexual Bingo!"

He cocked his head and regarded like a particularly curious exhibit in a museum. "You're making a blog entry about this in your head even as you speak, aren't you?"

Guilty as charged.

But my point remains. Sexual Bingo could be a pretty damned fun game, for the sport fucker. There are all kinds of professions and archetypes to fuck one's way through. Corporate Lawyer. Computer Nerd. Hotel Desk Manager. Catholic Priest. Protestant Minister. Rabbi. Tax Preparation Guy. Student. Semi-Hot Homeless Person. Waiter. Airline Attendant. Hairdresser. Republican Congressman.

And of course, for the center space on every card, Sex Blogger. Because we're so easy to score, we might as well be the free space.

Let's get to some questions from

ok wat can we do to get your sexy arse to australia maate

I'm thinking that taking up a collection and buying me a plane ticket, then finding me a host or two while I'm there, would be a very good thing.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who was supposed to be just a casual hook-up?

Yes. Several times, through the years.

I don't believe that people are 'supposed to be' any one role in our lives. If you want to live right, and stay aligned with the universe and its purpose, you have to take people and the many gifts they bring, for what they are. It's when we begin to ignore the reality of others, and impose our own wills and desires upon them, that we run into troubles.

you are awesome and sooo hot i masturbate to your pictures

Thanks! I might masturbate to yours if you sent me some. But you haven't. So it's kind of one-sided that way.

So, I've been thinking of starting to blog about my sexuality and my deep appreciation and adoration for the male physique. Any pointers, tips on how to do this - especially anonymously, considering that you've done is so well, and successfully.

I think writing about one's sexuality is a valuable experience. When one does it, does it regularly, and does it honestly, it's a valuable record of a subject that gets very little frank and honest attention.

Doing it publicly, or blogging about it, can be valuable for others; they get to see that someone else has the same impulses or affiliations or thoughts or fetishes. Even if they have completely different experiences and desires, it still can open up the eyes of a reader with an open mind. So if you decide to turn your writings into blogging, I advise a few things.

1) Write regularly.
2) Write honestly.
3) Make a commitment to your blog, in the same way you'd commit to a weekly choir rehearsal or play practice. Decide on a schedule that's good for you and stick to it.
4) Treat your readers well, when they're courteous and nicely-behaved.
5) Don't blog because you want the approval of your readers. Don't blog because you want my approval. Don't blog because you want to be notorious, or famous. Write about your life and your experiences because you have something interesting to say, and because you want to share it on a regular basis. 

Be aware that blogging also has its down side. If you're trying not to be discovered, know that there are people out there who will do ANYTHING to try to figure out who you are. (And they might succeed.) Be prepared for that. Know that some of your readers will be fucking crazy. Be aware that the fantasies some readers impose on you will not at all resemble anything you do in your everyday life. And know that readers and haters alike can wreck the pure and noble desire you have right now with just a few words.

If you're not afraid of adversity or, more importantly, honesty, by all means. Blog away.

do you have a tattoo

I do not! I love inked skin, but apparently I am too wishy-washy about what to choose for a tattoo design, and where to place it.

When is your birthday? Just the day, not the year

My birthday is on the sixth of February, but you can buy me presents year-round!

Do you get guys you've never met in person, writing to you and telling you their sexual fantasy of you were to meet in person?

All the time. Absolutely. And I've met more than a few of them.

One of the unexpected benefits of being a sex blogger (at least, I was naive enough not to expect it) is that the occupation gives one a little bit of swagger; guys (and gals) want to bag a sex blogger.

And of course, one of the unexpected drawbacks of being a sex blogger is that guys (and gals) want to bag a sex blogger. So there's a brand of sexual collector who will say just about anything to sweet-talk me into it, and then drop me like a hot potato after.


  1. I just yelled BINGO on your suggested score card--at least once horizontal, once veritcal and a nice long diagonial...

    I think I'm only missing the rabbi...

    1. Felching Pisser,

      I've got the rabbi. Swap you for a Astronaut. Whaddaya mean, go fish?

    2. Ok. I stretched a point. He wasn't an astronaut, but he worked for NASA. And I'm pretty sure I sent him to the moon.....

  2. Gentle Breeder

    got a Hairdresser? If not, lemme know


    1. Al,

      Yes. I mean . . . no. Nope. I sure haven't had a hairdresser. Come help a buddy out!

    2. I would definitely look you up when I get to the east coast

  3. Oh, when you come to Melbourne visit me! There are many pretty and lovely beaus in Melbourne by the way. I sometimes think the percentage of lads who love lads here must be higher than 50%.

    1. Countess, you can take me out to dinner in lieu of chipping in for my airfare.

  4. Brilliant selection of questions and many tongue-lolling laughs in the answers.

    You have made me accept I am a bad blogger, which is not a bad thing.

    1. You know, RedPhillip, I'm not convinced that bloggers fall into the good/bad dichotomy—or if they do, I'm not certain it's important. I read some bad bloggers sheerly for the car-wreck entertainment value.

      What I think a blogger should be asking himself is: A) Am I having fun? B) Are my readers having fun? And finally, C) Am I getting what I wanted out of the blog?

      Most of the bad bloggers, if we can call them that, tend to be those who can't answer in the affirmative to the first two questions. And if they can't say yes to those questions, it's unlikely they can say yes to the third.

  5. """""..... reference on a job application"""""

    Would be interesting to see what kind of references you would get if you asked for some before mounting and breeding a guy :-)

  6. So, this is a little random, but you have atleast two Yale professors who are reading your blog. I am curious who my colleague is :-)

    1. Awesome! May I use you on my teaching resumé? Should I put it down as 'Purple Antelope'?

  7. I actually had two Republican congressmen back in the 70's when I lived in DC. Well, one of them was still a staffer when I did him twice, but later elected.

    1. I think that counts. Mark your card!

  8. Don't forget the spots for cop, marine, cowboy - most of the Village People roles, for that matter.

    1. I think Indian Chief would be the hardest to score these days.

  9. What about landscapers ?? Looking forward to ongoing updates!!

  10. You know, I'd totally forgotten, but you did actually ask me about listing me as a reference back in the fall. Alas, I didn't get to wax eloquently about how you breed excitement among your students.

    On my sexual bingo card, I think "Nine Inch Nails roadie" is my most impressive square ever (perhaps because he gets bonus points for fucking me four times in one night). But I'm going to have to think up some more categories that allow me to win the game. "Computer nerd," well, that's like fucking cubs in a barrel.

    After I left you, I remembered one guy I had a date with (no sex; I was not at all interested) who mentioned how excited he was that he could tell his mother he'd been on a date with a Yale professor. Of course, to be fair, if I mentioned brunch with a sex blogger to my mother, she'd ask for the website address.

    -- Yale Prof

    1. I'm sure I was kidding. (I'll put you down, though.)

      I think 'Rock Band Roadie' would be awesome on a bingo card. It'd balance out the easier targets. And say hi to your mom for me!

  11. I haven't had coffee yet; just saw the "I asked first" after posting. Where is my manservant bringing me some exquisite Sumatran blend? Isn't that supposed to be the life of an Ivy League Professor? Reality is sooooo much more mundane.

    -- Y.P.

    1. I probably shouldn't mention that the first time I drove into New Haven my face was screwed up and I said, "Wait, Yale is here?"

  12. That's not an inappropriate reaction to discovering that lil' fact...


  13. I drive past New Haven every summer on my way to Provincetown, and I have always had the same reaction!