Usually on Sunday mornings I like to wedge into my Sunday Morning Questions essay the detritus of the week—something silly someone said to me in a bar, the annoyances of that week's attempts to score sex online, some less weighty anecdote. That kind of thing.
Today, I'm begging you guys. I want some photos of you.
I haven't had a Reader's Assets feature in a loooooong time. Partly it's my fault; I haven't been campaigning for you all to send in photos of your naked selves as aggressively as perhaps I should. We haven't had the feature in a while, so some of you might not even remember it, or might have come to the blog after the last time some of my foxy readers showed off their goods. (It was March, if you're keeping count.)
But I love you guys! I want to show you off! I know those blog entries featuring nude shots of my readers were always hugely popular when it came to web page hits, too—so why not join in the fun?
You don't have to show off all of yourself—just send in some naughty photos with which you're comfortable. Ass. Cock. Ass and cock. Ass, cock, and hole. Ass, cock, hole, and your naked chest, and your big old smile grinning in our directions. I'm not picky.
Send a few of your best shots to the address in the sidebar, and put 'MY ASSETS' in the subject line, so it'll filter into the appropriate box. All I ask is that the photos are of you, and not some random porn actor or hot guy on the net—unless you're a porn actor or hot guy on the net, of course. Be of an age appropriate to share such photos. And please, realize that your mother, your pastor, and your boss are probably not going to see them shared here. Unless they're in the habit of cruising gay sex blogs.
Well, maybe your pastor.
If you've participated before, by all means, send in some new photos and show off again! Let me know if there's anything special about you that I should be sharing with my readers. Maybe you'll get a potential soulmate (or at least fuckbuddy) out of it! I'm the Dolly Levi of sex bloggers, that way.
Do I have to beg? I will. Pwease?
Okay, let's get to some questions rounded up from my account at formspring.me. Thank you guys who've been sending me some pretty stimulating questions of late—I appreciate the mental challenge.
Did you ever reject someone because of their looks? I have some self-esteem issues and one of problems I deal with is feeling as though I'm not good looking enough, or that I'm not interesting enough.
Yes, I have rejected someone because of his looks. I've done it many times.
I don't think that's a particularly shameful thing to admit; not to do it would imply a total lack of discrimination. You're attracted to the guys you're attracted to, and no amount of mental gymnastics can overcome it.
I dislike, though, when guys have so narrow a definition of what they find 'acceptable' or 'fuckable' that it applies only an extremely narrow demographic, like when guys my age only want college jocks, or when chubby guys with beards want only other chubby guys with beards who look like every other chubby guy out there with a beard. That just smacks to me of fear—fear of straying away from other men who look like oneself in case one's rejected, or fear of what other people might think if anyone selected a partner who was less than some imaginary concept of perfection.
I like old guys and young guys, and big guys and skinny guys, and I've had a lot of fun with guys others might consider unattractive, who had great personalities and adventurous sexualities. I consider myself only modestly good looking at best, but heck, men and boys have a good time with me.
Every once in a while, though, there will be someone to whom I just don't feel any chemistry. I'll politely decline sex.
About the latter half of your question: I have self-esteem issues myself, but you know what? Fuck those. If you mope around and act as if you're not good enough for others, chances are you're giving off a vibe that is saying, loud and clear, KEEP AWAY FROM ME! I'M DAMAGED GOODS! Guys are going to react accordingly, which will affect your confidence if you let it. Pretty soon you'll find yourself in a self-defeating situation.
Know your strong points and accentuate them. If you've got a big dick, show off the big dick in photos. If you've got a great smile, flash it as often as possible. If your personality sparkles, get out and make friends and let it shine. Don't look at yourself in the mirror and think, "Not good enough." Train yourself to see the best parts of yourself, and keep the negativity at bay as much as you can. It's possible —and maybe even probable—that you're wasting a hell of a lot of time dwelling on negative shit that no one else sees, much less cares about.
There will be men out in the world who appreciate what you've got to offer. You simply have to get out there and let them see it.
Have you ever slept with your kids teacher?
Lord, no. Not an attractive one in the bunch.
If you came across a diary or blog written by your kid(s) would you read it and if it was similar to your own experiences would you let them know you'd found and read their journal?
Nah. Everyone needs his own private space in which he feels safe, so he can express his reaction to his life without unwanted people inhibiting him. For some people that might be their own heads. It might be Facebook. Or it might be a private journal or online blog.
I'd just let it be.
What's your favorite song to fuck to?
Whatever the bottom's yelling out as I drill in.
I'm not fond of music playing during sex. My entire life doesn't require a soundtrack supplied by the music industry.
Can you talk about one of the more challenging situations you've had to work through in order to make things work with another person? For example, a wheel chair, prosthetic limb, or muscular difficulties?
I could probably talk about it in depth, but I have a curious reluctance to do so; I feel protective toward the men who were my partners in such situations, and don't want to answer in a way that would indicate I felt like they were some sort of curiosity, much less a freak show.
I've had encounters with several men who've faced physical challenges. With one sexy gentleman who had no legs below the knees, the major difficulty (from my perspective—he was having no problems) was getting him from his wheelchair to the bed in a graceful manner, after he'd let me in his front door. Once we were on the mattress, there wasn't really much of a difference between the way I made love to him and the way I'd make love to anyone else.
I've had sex with a guy who had an artificial foot (and to be honest, I didn't even notice until about about an hour into the orgy where we met), another with an artificial leg, and a few who, because of various issues, had to avoid certain positions because they inflamed some condition or another. You just work around those things.
I think the most refreshing sex I used to have was with a paraplegic who was so tired of hooking up with men who treated him like a glass oddity that he would pay me really good money just to come around regularly to his place and bang the holy shit out of him. I'd manhandle him and verbally dominate him and throw him around the way he wanted. He fucking loved it. He didn't want to be abused because of his condition; he wanted to be abused in spite of it, and found that most people were too tender-hearted and concerned to bitch-fuck him the way he needed.
I, of course, had no problems with that.
Do you think humans are inherently polyamorous?
At the suggestion of one of my readers, I'm currently reading a book by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha entitled Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality. Its authors posit that mankind's origins were never intended to be monogamous and that the entire institution goes against the evolutionary biology of our instincts and our genitals themselves; it's an interesting read in favor of a polygamous view of human behavior.
That was my long answer. The short answer is 'Yes.'
As someone who came to sex early I find many people who know feel more comfortable seeing me as a victim of abuse. How do you react when your disclosures have people questioning your childhood or insist you were used and abused?
You are correct that some people are infinitely more comfortable talking about any kind of early sexual exploration in terms of abuse and molestation, rather than recognizing it as part of human behavior. I'm not at all suggesting that all expressions of pubescent sex are healthy, or appropriate, or commendable; but neither are they all scary for the participants, nor uniformly disgusting, nor harmful.
My own early sexual experiences were joyful and liberating. I went after they with gusto, and I was treated (by and large) quite well by the men with whom I had them. I learned a lot about navigating my way in alien adult worlds that served me well when I grew older. Plus I had a hell of a lot of fun.
I encountered more abuse, more shame, and infinitely more mental anguish from other kids in non-sexual situations at school than I did from any adult dick I saw or pleasured in my teens. The men I was with never made me feel ashamed of my looks or my body, as did my peers in gym class, and they never fucked with my head and my emotions in the way a typical seventh-grade girl can. I'd rather a hundred times over endure the worst fuck from the nastiest park pick-up I ever had as a teen than I would ride the school bus home a single afternoon more.
That's my experience. It's different for everyone, and I recognize that for others, the prospect of sex so soon after puberty would've been terrifying.
As I've said before, though, classifying every instance of adolescent and pre-adolescent sexual exploration as abuse and molestation, however, marginalizes and does a severe disservice to those who actually suffered from real abuse.