Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Anniversary and a Contest

During the last couple of weeks that I was moving house, I managed to miss a milestone that’s usually pretty important to me—the fourth anniversary of my blog. (And the 750th installment, too!)
I’m not going to recap my motivations for starting this account of my sex life. I’ve talked about those before. What I’d like to address, briefly, is the primary reason I keep doing it.

It seems to me that when people engage in dialogue about sex, the conversation takes place either in the hushed tones of the forbidden, or the loud shrieks of the outraged. There’s a lot of allure to both extremes, admittedly—it’s fun to wear either the scarlet hues of the slut and the pure white robes of the saint. So wherever I turn, there’s always a lot of talk about sexual behavior that borders on the fantastical. It’s either extreme and pornographic to an extent that one wonders whether any of the acts within could actually take place, physiologically . . . or it’s so shrill in its denial that humans of all ages engage in sexual behavior and desire sex that it’s equally as dubious.

Simply put, there’s not an awful lot of honest talk out there about people’s real sex lives. So few people share anything genuine. People hide away their desires and indulge in them only in fantasy, and even then feel morbid guilt afterward. Men and women alike engage in furtive encounters and hope they’re erased from time and memory even before the body warmth has faded from the sheets. Meek little mice in real life engage in braggadocio on the internet, hoping to get a slice of the action they’ve always craved, while brazen sluts whore under cover of dark and hope they’re never discovered.

I’m perfectly aware that people assume because I have a lot of sex in a lot of unusual circumstances, that what I write in my blog is fiction. It isn’t. I keep myself honest when I write here. I think it’s important for people to realize that one doesn’t have to be compartmentalized and secretive about sex. I think it’s important for people to know that sometimes sex is more than just one body part spurting excretions into another body part, and that there are actual, genuine human beings involved. That sometimes those human beings bring their hearts and hopes and disappointments and joys into the bed with them.

And of course, sometimes sex can be nothing but sheer heat, hard body parts, and slick skin. That’s okay too.

2013 was rough for me in a number of ways—stalkers and a patch of poor health discouraged me from writing during a few months of the year. There are still days, I admit, when I’ll get a rash of hate mail or death threats and wonder what the use of it all might be. But I keep stubbornly plugging along because I think what I do is important.

Important in a very very small way, of course. A bee pollenates only one flower at a time, though—but think of all the blooms it makes possible later in a season. I like to think of myself as one of those little invisible bees, doing little bits of good with my work.

In the past I’ve celebrated my anniversaries with contests. So let’s have another one! While I was packing up earlier last month, I ran across a favorite pair of old socks that I used to love. I can’t really say why I liked them so much other than that the tops of them looked good sticking up over a pair of leather boots when I was naked and fucking. (Isn’t that enough?)

Anyway, they were old and worn out and unsuitable for wear anymore, but I put them aside. During the month of February, I used one as my exclusive cum rag. I wiped up my semen with it when I masturbated. I wiped up the Runt’s sperm with it when he’d shoot his loads all over the place. I mopped up with it the semen of a couple of other guys who came on their bellies when I fucked them. But mostly it’s my sperm that’s made it crusty.

And as I did once before with some underwear in probably my most popular contest, I’m giving away this glorious cum-soaked footwear to another lucky winner!

Here’s what you do to enter.

1. Write a comment on this entry before the deadline. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Even ‘Enter me!’ will do. But most important of all, GIVE ME A NAME so that I can announce who won, later on. It doesn’t have to be your real name. It can be a made-up handle. You don’t have to use a Google account to comment . . . you may still do so anonymously as long you identify yourself with a name of some sort. (And if your name is common, make it a little less so with an initial or something, wouldya?)

2. Alternately, if you are absolutely adverse to commenting on this entry, send me an email telling me you want to enter the contest, before the deadline. But again, GIVE ME A NAME so that when I announce the winner here, you can respond.

3. BE PREPARED TO SHARE YOUR MAILING ADDRESS WITH ME LATER. LATER, I TELL YOU. This is vital. I can’t email you this DNA-soaked sock if you don’t give me your mailing address. If you don’t feel you can trust me with your mailing address . . . well, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not going to send seventy-five pizzas to your house or anything.

4. And again, DON’T SHARE YOUR ADDRESS RIGHT AWAY. I will announce a winner and then give that winner a few days to respond with his or her address at that point.

5. I’ll take entries until MIDNIGHT, MARCH 17. That’s Monday. St. Patrick’s Day. Enter by then if ye want t’ be after me lucky charms.

If you do win, I thoroughly encourage you to tell me (or send me photographs!) of what you’ll be doing with my cast-off cum rag. Such a course of action is not, however, required.

(And if your answer is “I’ll be washing that nasty thing in Lysol, thank you very much,” I know you’re my grandmother on my mother’s side.)

Enter today! What’re you waiting for? Do it now!


  1. Enter me! -Chris V.

  2. At last! I get to enter one of your contests!!! I'm in! (Pun/puns intended.)

  3. Enter me!

    (But also please consider that comment my submission for this contest. Thank you.)

    1. Ha! For some reason, it took me a split second to figure what you meant. Which like Data (lame sci-fi reference) is an eternity considering how my mind is so far down the gutter light can't escape (well, figured i'd roll with the geekiness)

  4. And, more importantly, CONGRATULATIONS! KUDOS!
    Having found your blog last year, it's been an amazing experience reading. It touches me, and makes me touch myself, too! Thanks for keeping at it. A mindful, non-hysterical discussion of real sex is terribly lacking, at least in the US.

  5. Rob,

    I joked with you earlier on a site that I was not a stalker. Please remember that I'm still stuck in 2011 of your life, and am not up to speed with more current events. I would never have joked if I had known you recently had problems with a real one!

    Please Enter Me! I am so excited. Since I am so far behind in my reading I thought for sure that by now you would have stopped these cum-soaked give-a-ways. I am delighted..and learn that you have not. Since, if I win, I will be sucking the goodness out of that sock on a nightly basis, if you, um, kinda, pee'd a little on it..well, no complaints from here? (Look at me, acting like I've already won, AND making demands! I will behave.)


  6. U will send it worldwide? I would like to be winner. Andy

  7. If u will send it worldwide, I want to participate. ian

  8. For whoever wins, just a reminder: sharing is caring... =)
    I love sniffing on an old crusty cumrag... Not sure why I don't keep one around more often...

  9. I'll just say "Congrats on the Anniversary." I don't need the cum rag---after all, I've slurped your cum out a very lucky bottom....

  10. Happy Anniversary being able to delve into a part of your life

    Rob D

  11. Hi Rob,

    I'm really appreciative of your willingness to share with us and to write openly nad honestly about not only your activities but about sex in general. I also appreciate the other blog writers that I've met through you, like Felching Pisser and those I've met by extension. I guess I've been fortunate that I've always had friends who were quite open about their sex lives so I have been too. In fact, back when I was quite social, all my friends were people who started out as tricks and became family. Many are gone now, but I still recall some of their exploits with fondness

    Congratulations on your anniversary.-- I discovered your blog through the auspices of Treasure Island Media who reprinted one of your stories aobut two years ago and I've read and appreciated every entry. Long may you wave (that thing around)!

    Needless to say, I'd like to enter the contest!

    Paul, NYC

  12. I'm happy to take it off your hand(s). I will add my own DNA to it, after sniffing and licking yours. You know how to get a hold of me. :)

  13. Rob

    Thank you so much for your blog and Congratulations. You have made a difference, at least, to me. Your blog helped me stop feeling ashamed and start enjoying sex. Thank you.

    I would love the sock, and would love to send you one too.

    Al O

  14. Enter me!

    Logan O.

  15. Four years of blog writing makes me wonder how many times you have had sex in those four years. Since to don't write about them all, the number must be high :-)

  16. Congratulations!! Don't ever let the creeps, weirdos, and self righteous losers get you down! Just remember every time they try that I'm here routing for you. Oh and I'd love your "nasty" socks. If I'm lucky enough to win I'll send you some of mine.


  17. Congrats on your blog I enjoy reading your posting of your over powered sex drive and then men you have left wanting more if that monster dick!

    Kevin j.

  18. Yes, please, consider me. Would be an honour to receive your cum rag! I wish I could have you, for a real session; this will have to do...

  19. Enter me! (Yes…and please, enter me-lol!) Congrats on surviving your move and on your anniversary. This is my favorite blog and I am glad you are in my life. Thank you for all the time you spend to keep us part of yours.


  20. Congratulations, Rob! Love you. And I hope to see 4+ more years of this blog. :)

  21. Even though you have an amazing dick it can't cross the Atlantic by itself I'm afraid. So I would really love to get a taste or let's say a sniff of you! So please enter me in the contest and whenever I'll cross the ocean to visit the USA I'll bring it back to you and you can choose where you want to put a new load....
    Congratulations on your milestones and I hope there will be many more to come!


  22. I want it!!!

    Hung BB Bottom DC

  23. Hey Rob,

    Hope I'm not too late to enter the contest.

  24. I want it and am ready to receive.


  25. Damn, looks like I missed it. Been ISP challenged.

    Love your blog. Envious of your adventures.


  26. Damn, missed this one... :-(
    Oh well, will have to go to the US to collect one personally... :-p