Sunday Morning Questions: The Show Tunes Edition

It's time for that popular end-of-week ritual in which I collect more of your questions from formspring.me and give them the rigorous attention they deserve. The questions take a serious turn toward the end this week, but fear not. I end on the note of sheer ego you expect of me.

But first, a shout-out to the person kind enough to send me a CD from my Amazon wish list.

(An image has been removed to comply with Blogger's

draconian new censorship policies: 2/26/15)

Yes, there's a CD in that photo. Look a little lower. Lower than that. There you go. And yes, I like show tunes. What of it?


What's the longest dick you've ever sucked?
Eleven inches. It belonged to a latin guy who picked me up in a Waldenbooks, in my early twenties. He saw me cruising him, and then he took my hand and shoved it down the open fly of his jeans, right there in the travel books, and told me I was going home with him and that he was going to fuck both my holes.

And boy, did he.

I know it was eleven inches because at one point he pulled out a tape measure to prove it to me.


What do you usually wear to bed when you know you're going to have sex?
I usually wear nothing to bed, whether I'm having sex or not.



Sometimes I feel a bit guilty about fucking guys I have no intention of fucking again, not because I didn't find them attractive but I enjoy new experiences. I have a huge conscience and it kills me to hurt anyone. Can you provide any advice?
Not every encounter is going to be a lifetime commitment. Not every hookup will end in dating, or a repeat visit.

Why not enjoy the sex for what it is, while it's happening, and not worry about what will come later? There really is no shame in two people enjoying each other for a short moment, honoring the encounter for what it is, and moving on.


how much do you jack off?
I'm not usually a constant masturbator, though I have my days when I can't keep my hands off myself. I'd prefer to have sex with someone else than to masturbate.

So I'd guess 2-3 times a week. If I'm having a slow sex week, it might be more like 4.

If it's early summer when my hormones run high, all bets are off.



How do you like to fuck? I mean is hard and fast or slow and gentle. Perhaps it changes depending on the bottom, but do have like a default way of fucking?
It really all depends on my mood. I think I tend to be more of a love-maker than a nasty fucker, but I enjoy both extremes and everything in between.

And beyond.



At what point does chubbiness make for logistical problems in gaining access to a guy's ass?
A valid question. I cannot say that there is an absolute weight at which screwing becomes impossible, because everyone has different weight distributions. I have met a couple of guys, however, whom I had difficulty navigating to the entry point even with my length.

Some positions are easier with big boys. I find on the knees, doggie-style, to be best.


What do u have against monogamy?
I have nothing against monogamy. I have nothing against Santa Claus either. I just don't happen to believe in him.

I absolutely believe it's possible to develop a very intense and lifelong emotional bond with someone. I think that's sweet, and honorable, and enviable when it happens. It should be cherished when it does. I don't at all believe that this bond requires sexual exclusivity, however. Nor do I think it's cheapened when two partners mutually agree that they're confident and jealousy-free enough to allow the other to enjoy sexual relations outside the relationship.

Polyamory isn't for everyone. But neither is monogamy. Neither side should be so foolish as to assert superiority over the other.

But they do, and usually it's the monogamists who want to squelch all talk of alternatives.



DO YOU THINK THAT "VERSATILE" REALLY MEANS "CLOSET BOTTOM?" YES OR NO?
Pretty much. I always interpret 'versatile' as 'this dude is going to bottom for me.'

Of course, I usually interpret 'top' to mean 'this dude is going to bottom for me,' too.



Did you douche out your hole when you went cruising at a young age?
You know, I did not. Not generally. I don't mean to sound crude, but given a shot at my hole back then, most guys didn't really care.

That said, I wasn't dirty. Later on, when I had a mentor of sorts, he showed me how to use a rubber squeeze enema bottle at his place. But for park and restroom cruising, I very quickly learned how to get clean enough by showering and using some water and a couple of fingers. It worked well enough.



How long do you last? I'd like to get fucked for 15 minutes. I also don't touch myself and usually jack off after the top cums. Is that odd?
The longest I've lasted without shooting is about ninety minutes of continual fucking. Most guys are kind of tired of my dick by then. I have a tendency to shoot 2-3 times at least, and I reload quickly; the longest session I've had with a guy with no breaks was about four hours.

I think we could swing 15 minutes, pretty easily.

If you're one of those bottoms who is done, d-o-n-e, done after you shoot, I wouldn't let you touch yourself and jack off until after I'd shot, either. I find nothing more disappointing than a bottom who shuts down after he comes.



What situation makes you willing or eager to bottom? Tell us about the last dick that made you open your hole for it.
It has been a long time since I was successfully topped. About seven years, in fact.

The last guy who topped me was a handsome older Australian who, once his clothes came off, turned out to completely covered in tattoos from his neck to his ankles. He was attentive and playful and sweet, but also took charge and knew what he wanted. Even when I tried to protest and talk him out of topping me, he managed to put me at ease and took what he wanted. Three times, in fact.



Do you ask the guys you top what their HIV status is?
Yes.



Does their answer about their HIV status change anything for you?
My decision to get naked with guys is based on a number of factors. Attraction and connection are foremost. I don't choose or discriminate against a partner based on broad generalizations, such as age, weight, race, or HIV status.



Thanks for answering my HIV questions. So their status does not change whether you have sex with them but how about specific acts? You must have looked at each type of act and its risk to you and therefore your family.
It seems to me that often the invoking of the word 'family' tends to be used as a moral trump card; it's not used so much as an actual argument as it is a full-stop silencer against any sort of dialogue. Conservatives have used it for decades and centuries against gays and bisexuals. I am always surprised when we use against ourselves, consciously or not, the tactics of those who would see us eliminated.

My last word for now on the issue of HIV status is this: to assume I am uneducated or unheeding of the risks involved in unprotected sex is erroneous. So is assuming, or insisting, that I live a risk-free life to suit the standards of someone else. I'm always aware of my HIV status, and it's something that I share with the partners I agree to meet, when we meet. That's when it becomes someone's business.


How could anybody ever get tired of your dick? :-)
I'm loftily assuming this is a rhetorical question. My answer is: I know, right?