Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sunday Morning Questions: Urban Dictionary Edition

With a large portion of the country suffering oppressive heat this week, perhaps it was natural that the most-asked question I got on in the last few days was a variation on, What do you do to cool off on a hot day?

The basic answer is that I sprawl around my house, naked, in a direct line with the air conditioner, so I can bask in it. Usually that does me.

But when I want to get out, I'll head to the local mall and waste some time there. Or I'll hit the movie theaters. My very favorite thing to do on a sweltering afternoon, though, is to visit one of the large supermarkets in the area. Not only do I generally find them more interesting to browse than the mall (especially if they pride themselves on being an upscale, gourmet kind of place), but I know that once I spend a good five minutes shivering in the dairy sections, where the refrigerators are on full blast, I'll be more than ready to go outside and warm up once again.

The heat I can stand. It's the cold that makes me miserable.

As for sex on a hot afternoon? Some people find it sticky and miserable, but I can't think of anything better. Maybe it's because I had my first orgasm on the hottest afternoon of the year, or because I associate summer with being out of school and whoring all day in the parks and restrooms of my little home town, growing up. These months, and the heat that comes with them, are the best time of the year for fucking.

What do you guys do to stay cool during the warmest days?

Now, on to the Formspring questions. As always, if you'd like to ask me something anonymously (or not-so-anonymously), feel free to visit the site and ask away. I'll answer anything that I haven't answered a dozen times before, or that's not too invasive.

The hottest guy ever wants you, but only if you give him a blumpkin. Would you? Have you?

Nope, and nope. If that's what he wanted, he wouldn't be so hot any longer.

What is your opinion on cybersex?

It's so easy to have actual sex. Why would anyone care to fake it?

You've written about many people in your life. Will you ever write about when you met Mister/Miss Right? Or is that off-limits?

I'm not really a believer in the One True Right Person. I believe we meet several people throughout all our lives with whom we can forge strong connections. It's up to us to follow through on those opportunities, not. For many people, a choice of emotional or sexual monogamy can limit subsequent opportunities severely. I'm not at all saying that monogamy's a bad choice. It's simply not for me.

If you're asking me to write about my spouse, it won't happen. I have privacy issues there.

About how many friends from high school do you still talk to?

I have friends from middle school and college with whom I talk, mostly on Facebook. I have absolutely no friends from high school with whom I'm in touch.

What was your first sexual experience with your bro? What did you do?

It started with showing off to each other, progressed pretty quickly to me sucking him, and ended with me getting rammed.

Have you ever had a sex related injury?

I've had a couple of guys handle me so roughly, either by ungentle hand treatment or by too much teeth, that I've had abrasions or chafing.

Do you like having sex in the dark or with the light on?

I prefer a dim setting—not entirely pitch black, but dark enough to keep me focused on the sensations at hand.

When u top, do you prefer the btm to already have a load or fresh for your deposit?

I enjoy both scenarios. I don't get preloaded holes often enough, though, so I could deal with more of that.

Have you ever wanked on Skype?

Yes. I don't do it often, though. I prefer to do it on cam4 or Yahoo, where I can have a larger audience.

Your blog counter is currently around 657,000. Do you have plans to do anything special to celebrate 750,000? Perhaps more cum encrusted briefs?

I'm certainly willing to take suggestions, on my trek to a million. Do you have any?

Who was the first person you ever kissed?

Unless you count assorted relatives who pecked me on the lips or cheek when I visited, the first person I really kissed was my sixth-grade homeroom teacher.


  1. The first person you kissed on the lips was your 6th grade homeroom teach? wtf?? There's got to be a story in that, or have you already written about that? If not, enquiring minds want to know...

  2. I second that! Was it a man or a woman?

  3. Jockluvr and Anonymous,

    Yeah, he was the first person with whom I had sexual contact, though it was never penetrative.

    I wrote about the incident once in another venue, and it was met with such overwhelming dismay and horror that I vowed never to write about my sexual history there again, instead splitting that aspect of my blog into this one.

  4. So, are you going to share the story of you and your 6th grade homeroom teacher with all of us here? You've peaked our curiosity.

  5. Jay,

    Perhaps at some point. The reaction last time I wrote about it was less than enthusiastic.

  6. Pls tell the story, Rob. This is a different audience. :) - Nathan S