Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sunday Morning Questions: Way Behind Edition

Oh jeez. How'd it get to be December already? I haven't even managed to clean up from Thanksgiving!

Now that my head cold has settled to my chest, leaving me sounding like a bronchial Harvey Fierstein, I'm feeling a little less strung-out on the drugs I'd been taking. Hopefully that means getting back to a more disciplined writing schedule instead of staring at the keyboard and admiring the decongestant-inspired pretty purple dots lulling me to sleep.

But for Sunday, as is my custom, I'll be fielding some of the questions you guys have been leaving me on, that service that allows you anonymously to query others of all the things you've been dying to know. I'll answer just about anything on there that's not abusive, outrageously repetitive, or mean in spirit. Sadly, ever since the beginning of the month I've had a lot of the latter.

And of course, if you have questions you'd rather email, feel free. I'll take care of you that way.

If you bottomed frequently, how selective/careful would you be re: your partners? I read that you'd only BB - would you take an openly poz guy's load?
It's kind of a moot point, because I don't bottom frequently. However, if I were a frequent bottom, negative, and concerned about staying that way, I would be extremely selective about my partners.

On the whole, in that situation, I'd rather play with a guys with an undetectable viral load than a guy who assumes he's neg but doesn't keep on top of his status.

Are you planning any more trips to toronto before moving to Maine? If so, how about a hint where you plan your sexcapades !I'm a regular reader and you have called me "my friend" after my anonymous #3 comment !!!
I don't have any trips to Toronto planned at the moment. However, that doesn't mean I couldn't take one, given the proper invitation. And a host.

(And it's not Maine to which I'm moving!)

Married guy, looking to get bottomed. What advice do you have to do this discreetly, yet have a fun, unrushed experience? And yes, I'd like to make this repeatable!!
Well, for starters, I suggest finding a guy with his own place.

If you're cruising online for a buddy, pick someone that you not only find attractive, but who's looking for the same things you are. Picking someone simply because they're available at the same time as you won't lead to a compatible experience, most likely. If you state up front that you would like it to be relaxed and exploratory, hopefully you'll find a considerate partner who'll give you those things.

As for repeatable, you'll be more likely to get it if you're pleasant to the guy, communicate well, and are considerate about his needs too. I wish you the best of luck!

You've spoken about loving to be massaged. Could you please describe an ideal massage? Where would it start, what parts of the body would it cover (any particular order?), how much pressure do you like, would it have a "happy ending," and so on?
I really just like to be touched. That can range from a simple trailing of fingers over my skin, or a flat-out professional massage. For which I've only paid twice, because I'm a poor artist.

When I've had a real massage, either from a professional or an enthusiastic amateur, it's usually been all over. Hands, fingers, toes, feet, legs, back, shoulders, even the temples. I've had a considerable amount of pressure applied, and painful though it might have been a couple of times, I appreciated it after. I let the person giving the massage set the tempo and the order.

A happy ending isn't necessary. I'm not usually likely to get off from a simple hand job, for the most part.

Do you recommend anything other than clear water as an effective douche for bottoms?
I'm not the expert on douching, since as a top I rarely have to do it. (Although I do, from time to time.)

I've always used clear warm water. I believe most of my best-cleaned bottoms do as well. I would suggest avoiding any substance with a laxative in it, like a standard Fleet enema bag. It'll give you the runs.

have you been bullied? was it in school? as an adult? would you share what happened here in this answer?
I was occasionally threatened verbally in school when I was growing up, but it was because of my race and not my sexuality. I never had a hand laid on me.

How could I make you cum
Easy. Meet me. Bend over for me. Let me fuck your holes.

what's your manhunt handle?
It's the same as my Adam4Adam or BBRT handles, which you can find in a link on the sidebar of my blog.

What do you think is more important to bottoms: the cum, the sense of being done, the sensation, or what?
I am curious about the answer to this one myself. In my bottoming days I enjoyed the sense of being used more than I did the sensation of it. However, I think that was an indication of the fact that perhaps bottoming was not my true calling, though I did it for an entire decade of my early life.

Many of my bottoms do enjoy the sensations of it, and even ejaculate or enjoy ass-orgasms from the stimulation. I have always been curious about how that might feel to them.

Bottoms, what say you to the question?

What does your ass smell like when cleaned? I guess the better question is what kind of soap do you use?
I think you should assay it yourself to be certain. I use a Dove Body bar, I think. It's green.

When do you get out the riding crop and tit clamps?
Sadly, I don't have any tit clamps. Perhaps you'd like to share some with me. I do have a riding crop--I discovered it in the back of a shelf of the first apartment I moved into.

Given your wonderful "feel" for the texture of language, your appreciation for the "telling details" that make stories/memories come alive on the page, I'm wondering: Who are your favorite writers? Among the classics? Among contemporary writers?
Thank you for the compliment. I would love to give you some high-brow response that would justify the many expensive years I spent on my education, and leave you with the impression that my bookshelves at home look like they've been populated with recommended selections of the New York Review of Books, but the fact is that I read a lot of pretty cheesy stuff.

I would say that from the classics, I'm heavily influenced by Dickens--but also by Romantic authors, particularly those novelists who wrote of protagonists venturing out into the world on their own and making a place for themselves. Satirists play an important role in both my reading and output. Both the social satirists of Great Britain in the early twentieth century, and their descendants in the U.S. of the fifties and sixties are fairly important to me.

Although I'm devoted to contemporary writers like Atwood and A.S. Byatt and Anne Tyler, a lot of what I read is science fiction and fantasy. I like adventure in my recreational reading.

Do you find any cultural/sexual difference between bottoms from different parts of the country? Any region where they're more slutty, uptight, etc.
It has always seemed to me as if guys from the southern U.S. are generally the most likely to indulge themselves when it comes to sex. There may be religious hangups in their backgrounds, but in the end, a lot of those boys just want to get down and dirty.

Midwestern guys tend to be very secretive about their urges, in my experience. They want their sexual experiences, but they also want to distance themselves from them as far as possible. For example, they have a tendency to call other men sluts while pretending not to do the exact same things in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Or they'll post their faces on an online profile, but not pictures of their body parts, or vice versa. When it comes to wholesome exteriors and sexual urges, midwestern boys are reluctant to let the twain meet.

And my experience with west coast guys is that they would very much like to have sex. Maybe even with you. But they'd like to put you off for a half hour in case someone better comes along. And at the end of that half-hour, add a half-hour more, just in case.

I don't have much experience with New Englanders. I guess that's coming.


  1. As to the last question concerning the west coast guys (LMAO) I couldn't agree more. Why men wait, and wait is a mystery to me!? On the east coast (from CT here) men are alot easier & more direct. I loved hanging out in NYC cruising for sex! They will love you there.

  2. BlkJack,

    That's good to know. I've had some fairly good luck the times I've cruised in NYC, but it's difficult to know when something like that is a fluke. :-)

  3. i actually think it helps to douche with completely cold water. yeah, it's a little uncomfortable at first but something about it makes it not take as long to finish the job. i'm always very clean and thorough and i've never had any problems.

  4. Raul,

    I always appreciate these tips from guys who have more experience at it than I. And on behalf of top men everywhere, let me thank you for being clean and thorough!

  5. You wanted a bottoms perspective on what is pleasurable about being fucked. It's the sense of surrender; it's the strange giddy heat inside you; it's even the pain, though maybe intensity is a better word. As to the cum, I've not been barebacked yet, but I imagine that is about knowing someone's DNA is inside you, that someone has really taken you and that it's messy and dirty the way sex should be. Get well soon, and sorry people are being mean in spirit this month.



  6. Jamie,

    Thanks for that. I feel great. I just sound awful!

    Intensity might be a better word than pain, indeed. I look back on my bottom days with a curiosity of why I did it so much when I can't for the life of me remember what made me enjoy it. The notion of intensity strikes a chord, though.

  7. Breeder,

    As a bottom I love the sensation of having a raw cock in me and using my hole. The bonus is getting the cum and carrying it for as long as possible reminding me of the experience.

    Versatile RAW Piggy Bottom

  8. Raw,

    So not getting the load wouldn't decrease your satisfaction in the fuck? That's interesting.

  9. As a bottom:

    1) I use a shower shot w/warm water and I moderate the water pressure coming out of the nozzle so I'm not "sandblasting" my hole. I start out shallow and gradually work the water in deeper and deeper until everything comes out totally clear several times. I don't clamp down with my ass to keep the water in as I fill myself up, but I will clamp down on the nozzle with my butt cheeks - it seems to lessen cramping.

    2) As to what I enjoy about bottoming: I love being used by someone for their pleasure. Treat me bad, restrain me, call me a bitch, spank my ass - just FUCK the hell out of me. You don't need to suck me, you don't need to stroke me, you really don't even need to rim me unless it turns you on.

    My nerve endings all seem to be in my hole. As your dick slides in, my dick gets rock hard. I'll stroke myself while you're nailing me and I'll hold off cumming until you shoot so my ass is massaging your cock until you're ready to unload. However long your climax takes is your call not mine and I'll relish every plunge no matter how deep or how hard it is. The top is always in the drivers seat - I'm there to service him and provide him with a great experience that'll keep him coming back for more.

  10. Breeder,

    Most of the time the top will cum and most stay in me when they do. Some want to spray it all over my body instead of inside me. I prefer they cum inside me.

    Versatile RAW Piggy Bottom