Sunday, December 4, 2011

Sunday Morning Questions: Another Milestone Edition

I have another milestone coming up this week—at some point I'll be posting my 500th blog post here. I know! It kind of snuck up on me, too.

Usually for these events I like to have some kind of contest, or do something fun. However, short of another underwear giveaway, I'm fresh out of ideas. So in the comments today, if you've got a suggestion for how we can all celebrate the 500th post, I'd be more than happy to hear it.

In the meantime, I'll let you get back to your holiday preparations. (Don't forget to thank your favorite bloggers while you're doing your online holiday shopping. I've got a link to my Amazon wishlist in the sidebar, if you're feeling particularly generous!)

This week's set of questions is brought to you, as always, by Stop on by and ask me something personal.

Are you actually affected by crap left by anonymous posters?

I pity them, more. I have a couple whose synapses are firing at such dangerous levels that it must be like the storm in 'King Lear' in there, 24/7.

Whatever the reasons they have that have led them to such a empty life where all they can do is get jabs in anonymously, it's still all empty sound and fury, and sadly signifying nothing.

That said, when all it takes to get a couple of the regular ones frothing at the mouth is bring out a few trigger phrases and set them off deliberately, they’re dancing to my hurdy-gurdy and not the other way around, the cute little performing monkeys.

Do you have an image in your mind of when you will be retired?

I tell people I'm retired now. It sounds so much better than admitting I'm a ne'er-do-well.

You described yourself as a power bottom in your youth. Yet now you are an (almost?) exclusive top. When, why and how did this change occur? Was there an in between phase where you were versatile? Would you say is this a typical development for gay men?

While nothing is universal—and I say this because whenever we make generalizations about sex, dozens of people pop up to say they're the exception—there is a general tendency for young guys to bottom for older. Then the young guys grow up and there's a new crop waiting to bottom for them. Circle of life, and all that.

However. I've known many guys who started out primarily as tops and switched to bottoms. And I've known bottoms who turned top only because their cute little asses weren't quite as much in demand after they hit 30. I've known true versatiles. (Or at least, they both said they were true versatiles.) And I've known guys who never evinced interest in anal sex at all.

The answer is that everyone has his own path through life, and it's tough to say what's typical. I've gotten into trouble before when I joke (it's not a joke!) that most gay men are big ol' bottoms. (They are!) So I'm trying not to make those massive generalizations here. (Though they are!)

I wrote about an incident in my blog that opened my eyes to the possibilities of topping, and started turning me in that direction. It's at the address: .

I will say that my own experience with sexual assault kind of put the nails in the coffin of my versatility. For many years after that incident it was difficult for me to want to bottom, or even to express an urge to bottom; by the time I was recovered enough to admit to the desire, I was out of practice enough that bottoming didn't come easily for me. It hasn't since, so I avoid it.

Are you into younger guys?

Indeed, I can be. A lot of them are into me.

What advice do you have (if any) for a guy in his late teens who is finally wanting to explore his interest in other guys for the first time? Specifically, as a bottom who is extremely interested in getting bred.

First up, if you're thinking of fucking unprotected, educate yourself. Know the risks and the consequences--the real consequences--so that you can't say you didn't know what could happen. Go into that with your eyes wide open, kiddo.

Second, if you're still a virgin, make your first time with someone you like. Not someone who's super-hot and who you want badly. Not someone who's nothing more than available. Take control and choose someone you actually like and won't look back on with regret. He doesn't have to be the man you spend your life with. Just pick someone you'll remember fondly, and won't be calling a jerk thirty years from now.

Finally, make sure that person knows your inexperience and is willing to help you explore. Don't pick a horny pervert with a thing for virgins who'll count you as a notch on his bedroom post. Pick a guy who will be patient, and kind, and who'll help you enjoy your first time.

Sex is supposed to be fun. So have fun. Just be smart about it.

What's the best compliment you've ever gotten?

When someone takes the time to read what I've written—and when it comes to my sex blog I mean really read it, not just for the good stuff but for what I'm trying to say through it—I find that their investment of time, thought, and consideration is the highest compliment of all.

Would you want to be famous? For what?

I'll stick to being infamous. The side benefits are a lot more fun.


  1. Love your answer to the question about virginity. Every time someone tells me they want to have sex for the first time, the first thing I tell them is to do it with someone they won't regret and who will care enough about them to ease them in to it. I have popped more than my share of cherries and I strive to make it a beautiful and memorable moment for each and every one of them. That is why I like to do it; I love knowing I've done an amazing thing for them. Of course, what they have given me is more special than anything I could give in return.

    And as for the 500th post: I suggest either a video or just audio of you jerking off and cumming, complete with moaning.


  2. Rob,
    Just to congratulate you for that milestone my dear friend. Your posts are getting better and better each time. Always enjoying reading your blog man. For the 500 post, you can put a photo of you naked so everybody can see how gorgeous you really are or just do want you want. I know you have good taste and you will find something.
    Thank you for all those great posts and moments spending with you my sexy friend. Love you man.


  3. 5:51 Anonymous,

    Exactly what I'm talking about. Dance, little monkey. Dance!

  4. Yves,

    You are a great person to be so supportive to me. Thanks very much.

  5. Ace,

    Yeah, I meant that from the heart. I think choosing someone nice, or sweet, or kind, is a lot better in the end than picking someone hot, or merely available. Not everyone has the luxury of choosing his first time. Those who do, should realize it, and realize the control they get to exert.

  6. Congratulations on your sensible and sensitive advice to the teenaged novice. I have always regretted I had no one to warn me and give me advice before my first time. I got over it but it is not a good memory. It seems so elementary to be considerate and kind to someone you are initiating, and yet not all guys -whether tops or bottoms- see it like that.
    Thanks also for your exciting stories and thought-provoking remarks. Un abrazo

  7. Some people have good reason to stay anonymous, like us. You appear to be ignoring the few abuses. I had to laugh at the dancing monkey comment, however. Still, some say that any response, even wit, dignifies what deserves nil. The call's yours, but I hope you keep on ignoring. That says dignity to me. All the best,

    MS X

  8. Rob,

    I know I have told you this before, but my first time was anything but a great memory for me. I never want that to happen to another. The fact that you show care and compassion in your answer to that question shows how wonderful of a man you are. You see the beauty in small moments that others pass by without a glance. You pause to appreciate what others ignore. I'm sure there are many out there who would say, "Find some guy and get it over with," but we both know that sex is meant to be wonderful, and meant to be seen for the beautiful moment of life that it is.