Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A Quick Note to My Commenters

I had a long day in the city yesterday, and I didn't get back home until after midnight to check my email and attempt, vaguely, to play catch-up. What I found were a number of comments waiting for approval on a few of my recent posts that, as good-intentioned as they might have been, were simply unacceptable.

I thought perhaps I was reading them through a filter of crankiness and weariness, but upon going through them again this morning, I still find them offensive.

So I'd like to make a blanket statement, for now and the future. I like my readers to comment upon my posts. When I receive comments, it lets me know that people are reading and digesting what I write. It encourages me to write more. Thank you for the comments you make, very much.

However, you are guests here—not only in my blog, but in my bed, and in my sexual history. I don't find it acceptable to visit and to be accusatory and rude, or with the express purpose of lecturing me.

When I'm writing about events that occurred over 35 years ago, I'm simply writing about things that happened to me, as I remember them happening to me. It's impossible for me to go back in a time machine and change my responses or choices, distressing as you may find them.

It's not acceptable to develop psychosexual histories of my partners in your imaginations and then react to them hysterically, as if they were god-given fact.

It's not acceptable to claim that my patterns of sexual behavior are 'criminal.' There are no laws against having many sexual partners, nor against fucking raw.

In the future I simply will not be publishing comments that are impolite, whether to me or to the people I write about in here. Even when it comes to disagreement, there are ways to state your opinions in a respectful manner that does not bludgeon me—or the vast majority of my peaceable commenters—over the head with your moral superiority. I encourage you to explore those avenues instead.

24 comments:

  1. Very well said, Mr. Breeder!

    Evidently some people haven't heard of constructive criticism...

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    1. Or realize that in discourse, disagreement does not have to take the form of blasting someone with an opposite opinion.

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    2. Again, I couldn't agree more!

      Basically some people need to learn basic formalities when it comes to conversing on the net and on the phone...

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  2. I never stop being surprised at how people can ignore all semblances of good manners in the interwebs. I think you are in well within your rights to request this.

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  3. People tend to be pushy and rude on the phone and over the internet when they know they are just a voice or typed words, but most would never act that way face to face.

    People need to think first and ask themselves, would I say this or act this way if I was standing next to this person.

    Everyone needs to remember this is the internet and if you don't like something or someone, then move on.

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  4. I pretty much check your blog daily. it is wonderfully written and I love reading everything you write. I mean it.

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    1. Thank you, Yooj. I appreciate that.

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    2. I second yooj. I'm late to the party, but its great to read a sex blog that isn't just a sex blog- you inject a huge portion of your personality into it, and it gives it real heart and soul. The idiots that want to lecture you need to fuck off- it's not like you advocate stealthing or anything.

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  5. I am sorry you receive unpleasant comments. I can't imagine, what kind of objections readers might have.

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    1. I recognize that certain posts of mine might trigger reactions of alarm or dismay—particular posts about my unsavory youth. At the same time, there's not much I can do about my actions then, at this point. I don't feel lying about them, or keeping them undiscussed, does much good either.

      My purpose with my blog entries is not necessarily to get everyone wet, or sexually arouse them. I write here about sexual encounters, true, but not all of them are necessarily erotic, or positive encounters. Having an adverse reaction to some things is natural. Condemning me for writing them, or condemning the people within, doesn't accomplish anything.

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  6. It never ceases to amaze me how people will willingly come to your blog knowing of your subject matter and then lay their own moral judgements on your life. I'm sorry you had to deal with that my friend.

    -Ace

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  7. Fuck them. Keep up the naughty weekly reading.

    G

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    1. Weekly?! I write more than weekly!! :-)

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  8. There's a simple rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. It's a pity not everbody acts like that and you are right to oppose. Just keep on showing yourself here and what else can we do than love it (and you)?

    Jelle

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  9. I find this fucking hilarious!

    To be honest, I am actually a little bit surprised that you don't get more of it!

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    1. This comment is ambiguously-worded enough to make me wonder if you're implying I don't deserve more of it? :-)

      However, the amount of negative reaction I get that I find offensive is pretty small. We're talking about a handful, here, and often from people who don't necessarily mean to be vicious, but are employing so much hyperbole to make a point that it comes off as heavy-handed.

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  10. So sorry to hear that some people continue with their obnoxious comments. As Ace said, it truly is amazing that they read your blog knowing fully what you write about, and then think that they have the right to be judgmental. It boggles the mind! I always find your posts enjoyable - they are often sexually stimulating, emotionally moving, and provide food for thought, not to mention they often make me jealous that I didn't have as sexually adventurous a youth as you did. Please keep on writing and sharing with all of us. And the nay sayers be damned! Best regards, Jay

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jay. I wasn't fishing for compliments, but I appreciate them. :-)

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  11. People still amaze me in how serious they get when it comes to the internet. Lighten up and just enjoy the writing. Frankly I don't care whether it's fact or fiction. It's not our place to judge or analyze the stories here but if you have to, do it with some civility and couth. Seriously! I come here almost every day and would hate to see it ruined. Keep up the wonderful stories.

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  12. Thank you for not rewarding ignorance by taking away its voice.

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  13. How can peoples be so mean to a great person that you are. If they don't like what you write, there are plenty more blog out there. I've been reading you for a long time and there is not a post that i didn't like, even with the one with poop in them. I know you receive some bad comments but all of us are behind you all the way my dear friend. We all love you man.

    Yves

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  14. I like the part that you are somehow defensive for the guys you've been with. I find it, very honourable. and sexy.

    and it's a turn on.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Victor. I am very protective of my partners. Unless they're assholes. Then you can have at them.

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