Sunday, March 25, 2012

Sunday Morning Questions: Shorn Edition

It's been a big week here at the blog. We climbed to over 800 public followers, and then kept going. We hit a million unique visitors. And then, to cap off the excitement, I went and had my head shaved.

No, really.

I'd been threatening to do it for some time. My hair was long. I'd worn it long-ish for about a decade, but this year and last, it got long. Friends and family would comment on how long my mane was and when I'd retort that I was considering cutting it all off, they'd laugh politely as if they knew I'd never do such a thing.

One problem with long hair, though, is that it starts to get in the way. It hangs down in your face, when you're banging someone. It'll look great one moment, and then a brisk breeze from the wrong direction will mess up everything. It tangles when you brush it. Your bathroom walls become plastered with long curlicues of  hair that drifted there on the billows of shower steam. You have to plan your days around letting the stuff dry.

So Friday I woke up and realized I was going to cut it all off. I dressed, pulled the stuff back into a ponytail, hopped in the car, and drove to the barber, where I sat down in the chair and told him to grab his electric shears and crop it all off.

"It's going to be really short if I do that," he said, staring at me in the mirror.

"Ye-es," I replied, since that was the idea.

"I mean, really short," he said.

This was one of the Latin barber shops in the area, and it was fairly crowded for a Friday morning. I couldn't tell, though, whether I hadn't made myself clear enough, or whether he was trying to make certain I knew what I was doing. "Yeah," I said. "Go for it."

"All right," he said, shaking his head at the crazy white guy.

So the first time around he used the shears on the side of my head, and trimmed off maybe an inch. Then he paused expectantly. I shook my head. "You see my beard?" I said, which I'd just trimmed down before I'd come. "That short."

"That short?" he asked.

"That short," I told him. So he cut it that short—perhaps a quarter of an inch. Then he did the other side.I still had a long lank of hair down the middle, like I was lead singer of A Flock of Seagulls or something, but finally I convinced him to cut that down, too.

When he was done, I beamed in the mirror. It looked awesome, and I told him so. It wasn't until I got home and was examining it in the mirror that I realized I should've asked him to take it even shorter on top.

I know some of you out there are mourning the loss of my Byronic locks, but hair grows, and switching things up keeps one on one's toes. And nothing's more welcome in the spring than a little change, right?

Let's get to a few questions from (And in honor of the milestones we crossed this week, how about you head over to the site and ask me an anonymous question I haven't been asked before? It'll be fun!)

What is your age and what is the oldest person in which you've had sex ?

I am forty-eight. The oldest person with whom I've had sex was in his mid-seventies when I was in my early thirties. He was a professor emeritus at a well-respected university, and he was a damned fine lover, too. Highly energetic and very attentive.

Have you ever lifted someone up upside down and stood up to perform a standing 69?

No. It sounds like way too much work.

I have lifted someone up and shoved them against a wall while they wrapped their legs around me, in order to fuck them, but they were considerably smaller and lighter.

What is that meal that you loved as kid, but do not care for as an Adult?

Spaghettios with franks. Why I loved this gummy, tin-canny mess with the weird-tasting hot dogs is beyond me. It tastes like upchuck.

I used to love mayonnaise sandwiches for lunch, when I was a kid. The thought now makes me shudder.

And some of the things I used to get away with as a kid, like eating an entire pint of ice cream instead of having a good dinner, just make me shake my head and wonder what I was thinking.

Other than your home town or city, where is your favorite geographical location to meet others for "no strings hookups" or sex?

Chicago, Toronto, and Atlanta. The men are plentiful and piggier.

Have you ever made a sexual phone call to someone you had a crush on and hidden your number or disguised your voice?

That kind of behavior seems to cross the line from crush-y to stalker-y, to me.

I'm more likely to have a crush on someone and never speak of it or give any indication, only to find out five or six years later that he had a crush on me at the same time. That seems pretty typical.

I'm fascinated that your brother "pimps" you. Have you ever shared guys at the same time? Have the two of you ever played with each other?

I think most of your questions would be answered if you clicked on the 'mikey' tag either in my sidebar list of tags, or at the bottom of that particular post. You'll see a variety of posts I've made about him.

Did you participate in sports teams when you were in school? What sport(s)? What memory or experience surrounding your participation is still important (or most vivid) to you?

I played lacrosse and tennis in school, and disliked both. For the former, I lack the team mentality that's so popular in both sports and corporate America. I'm sure my former employers could attest to it, too.

I was fairly good at tennis, but because I only did it because my father had played on his high school and college teams, and pushed me into taking up the racket. Because I was a snotty teen who didn't want to please him, I never enjoyed playing it, and resented getting up at five in the mornings, summers, for him to coach me at it.

The one sport that meant the most to me in school and after was swimming. Not with a team—but I enjoyed teaching swimming to boys at the YMCA, and lifeguarding. The experience taught me a great deal about interacting with others, helping people face their worst fears, and about responsibility.


  1. I'm having a histerical vision of you with a flock of seagulls look. Pop your collar and you're good to go. I've actually been flrting pretty heavily with a guy who has that shaved sides but very long middle look going on. He looks damn cute in it too.

    Last time I got my hair buzzed it was slightly shorter than yours had been and I got the barber to shave everything but two long antenna in the front and I walked around the mall like that before getting the rest taken off. But I look bad with my hair that short. I don't have the skull shape for it.


  2. Mmh, I used to like mayonnaise sandwiches before I became vegan.

    *Clicks on the mikey tag* ;)

  3. My son shaves his head for Locks of Love every few years, usually as a show of support for his favorite football team having made it to the finals. Rest of the time he lets it grow and plays in a rock band on weekends. They said they could get two wigs out of his last shearing!

  4. Bald is beautiful Rob. I started shaving my head 14 years ago. Of course I started losing my hair at 18 years old, so by the time I was 30 it was inevitable that I fulfill my destiny to look like the adult version of Charlie Brown.

    As for the pint of ice cream, well that was great when our metabolisms were younger, but nowadays ... well I wish I could still eat a pint of ice cream!

  5. I still working on mayonnaise sandwiches, as in bread mayonnasise and that's it? Doesn't sound filling with out a big piece of meat inside. Wait am I still talking about a sandwich?????

  6. I buzz my head every now and then iand i will do it again soon. My mom will be operated one more time for cancer so i will do it again for her. Glad that you made the change just to see what you look like, now you can see if you like it or not. I'm sure that you look as sexy now with short hair than you were before. You are a hot and sexy man no matter what my dear friend. It is so good to have short hair in the summer, less problem when you get out of the water because it is not dripping on your face and it takes less time to dry out. hope you enjoy it sexy man.


  7. Please hit me up, you sexy beast!


  8. I buzz my head with my new Remington shortcut clipper. No way to screw it up and is the easiest and most even haircut ever. Can trim from eighth inch to one half. No more long hair for me. hal

  9. Pics please, even just a peek