Cruising 101: Bottoms to Tops

Two of Breeder’s Readers (that’s what one of my friends calls you guys—I’m thinking of making T-shirts) came at me this week with remarkably similar questions.

My friend Jayson asked, How much time a week to you think you spend on the on-line site and e-mail back and forth sex search management? And an anonymous person wrote and wanted to know, How much time do you spent sex hunting? With the amount you fuck, it’s got to be a lot.

My short answer is that I spend both a lot of time looking for ass, and very little at all. Let me explain.

If I’m hunting for sex online, I take advantage of the sites that let me log on, announce my availability, and then move on to some other activity. I’ll log onto Manhunt, for example, and change my looking-for status from ‘Ask Me’ to ‘Right Now’ or ‘Later Today.’ If I want to cover my bases, I’ll log on to Adam4Adam or BBRT and do the same. Then, because I’m conscientious, I’ll move out of my browser and into my everyday-work computer desktop space, and settle down to do a day’s labor.

Every twenty minutes or so I’ll check back on the sites to see if I’ve gotten any messages. If so, great. If not, I’ll go back to work. Eventually, on good days, I will get someone soliciting sex from me. If I’m interested, we’ll talk about it and hopefully get together with a minimum of emails. If I’m not interested, I’m always polite and friendly about it.

The amount of time I might stay logged onto a site is anywhere from ten minutes to two or three hours. How much of that time will I typically spend poring over profiles, looking at pics, and checking out the prospective guys in my area? Basically none.

One of the reasons I don’t do any active solicitation of my own is that I’m a top guy with a big dick. Trust me, I’m aware how horribly arrogant that sounds. On a certain practical level, however, for every top there are an awful lot of full-time bottom guys, not to mention the versatile men who are only being versatile because tops are in short supply. Going online to one of those sites as a top guy with a big dick—not to mention a nice smile, a pleasant personality, clear and recent photos, and a profile that’s completely filled out—is very much like throwing a bucket of chum into a piranha tank. All the hungry fishies want to sink their teeth into that meat.

And again, although I’m aware how conceited it sounds, if you ask any good full-time tops in large metropolitan areas, I think you’re going to get the same answer—we don’t really hunt because the game pretty much comes to us. At least, my top friends have said the same.

If you’re one of those bottom guys on a web site who’s been pining for a top guy to message you, but he never has, take a lesson from me. The guy is probably doing what I do, which is to sit back, play Peggle, and let the offers roll in. He may potentially find you extremely attractive, and want to explore the goods you have to offer, but the laws of supply and demand are such that when he’s casting about for a place to plant his seeds, there’re just a whole lot of plot owners out there already begging him to garden in their back yards.

And what if you’re a naturally reticent bottom, prone to shyness and not really used to approaching guys? If you’re cruising online, I’m afraid you might need to get accustomed to making the first move, with the top men you like. Tomorrow I’ll be talking a little bit more about that, if you’re interested.