Sunday, June 20, 2010

Sunday Morning Questions: Mourning the Back Yard Neighbor Edition

It is a sad Sunday morning for me, readers. The end of an era has come. Yesterday, when I was driving down the adjoining street after a thunderstorm so I could check out the remains of a tree sheared in half by high winds, I saw something that astounded me. Yes, it was my back yard neighbor Michael's house, sitting there all neat and tidy with curb appeal up the wazoo, with a Real Estate One sign parked in front of it.

The fucker is moving.

Quite honestly, it felt like a slap in the face. I don't care that the man has three children under the age of ten and lives in a two-bedroom house. Clearly he should have thought of the ramifications of having that extra baby after he'd moved in and made me his salivating fan. All that energy I invested in stalking him is going to be for naught, once he's no longer around. Will my new neighbor have luxurious long curly locks? Doubtful. Will the new neighbor strut around in the nude in his kitchen, or sprawl shirtless in his backyard nursing a beer between his legs while studying me frankly from a distance? Hah! That lightning doesn't strike twice.

Here's hoping the house doesn't move. Damn it for being so cute! On the plus side, if any of my readers are in the market for a two-story house with a cute screen back porch and me as a back door neighbor (in every sense of the phrase), you're in luck.

Here's a few questions I've been asked on formspring.me to keep you occupied on this Sunday. As always, feel free to ask me more. I'm pretty frank about most things.



How does it feel to be worshipped and adored by so many guys?
Are you implying I am? Most of the time I don't feel adored or worshipped, though sometimes I feel mildly flirted with. I could really do with a little worship, frankly.

On a broader level, it does feel very nice to have guys be so kind to me, both on my blog and on Twitter. I've never lost the capacity to be surprised at, or delighted with, compliments. Every single one makes me feel as if I should be wrapping it up, pressing it in the family Bible, and saving it to bring out and reminisce over on a rainy day. I mean that most sincerely.

So I'm grateful.


how long does it take you to write one of your post? i love your ability to paint a picture as you write, it always makes me feel like i am there.
The average length of time it takes to compose a journal entry is probably between a half hour and an hour. Then I spend a few minutes re-reading and revising, and then I post it for the following morning.

Sometimes I'll revise a little more before the post appears. Then I go back and correct stuff when the sharp-eyed readers tell me exactly what errors I've made. And they do tell me.


What does a bottom have to learn to be fucked the way you want?
I really had to think about this one. I think it boils down to the following: he needs to learn to relax, to enjoy what's happening, and to trust me to make it good for us both. I know what I'm doing.


I always figure most guys who put a pic in a CL post are fakes. What do you think?
I have put my photos in my Craigslist posts, and those aren't fakes.

I've also seen my photos reappear in other mens' ads (or I'll have one of my sharp-eyed friends spot it and tell me). At that point, they're fakes, and I usually write the posters and request their removal.

I don't use Craigslist very often in my area because at least where I live, the guys who are looking there aren't all that enjoyable. However, I've run across about the same proportion of real photos to real-but-ten-years-or-more-old photos to absolute fakes. My experience with Craigslist has been that the number of guys from it who flake is substantially higher than other sites.


Damn, that is an accomplishment. Can you elaborate on that 4 hour session you had? ;)
I've had a lot of long sessions. Typically they took place on lazy afternoons or long evenings when my partner and I were both relaxed and enjoying each other. I'd fuck, shoot, stay inside, and begin fucking when we were both ready. Which is always pretty quickly for me.

The one former buddy I had with whom I enjoyed a lot of marathon sessions had a similar sexual development to mine. We would swap stories while I was fucking him, and talk about the similar kinds of places where we used to cruise, and work each other into a frenzy while talking about our pasts.


All those guys from your loss of virginity period: ever get an STD?
Nope. The only sexually transmitted nuisance I received during my teens was a case of crabs, and that wasn't until I was 19.


Yes, Craigslist is Flakesville. What's your ranking of other sites, least to most flakes?
Every site has a lot of flakes, unfortunately. But here you go.

1) BarebackRT.com: This bareback site isn't for everyone, and it does have a lot of guys who are there to look at photos rather than meet. However, I've met a lot of good guys from there, and only a few total flakes. It's especially good on the road.

2) Manhunt: There are a lot of men who irritate me on Manhunt, but the sheer numbers of guys who have accounts there make it easier to find someone to have sex with.

3) Adam4Adam: It's not the best site in my area, but when I've been traveling, I've gotten a ton of responses from guys who followed through.

4) Craigslist: I usually don't both responding to, or placing, ads in my area. I've used it for travel, but the number of flakes is too high to guarantee results.

5) Squirt and Men4sexnow: Skanky guys, and a high flake-to-real ratio.

There are other sites I haven't tried, like asspig.com or bnskin.com. The administrator of bear411 said I wasn't bear enough for their site, so I've not revisited that one, either.


ok warning, this is a real nerdy question. i saw u added a wow gamecard to ur wishlist. what class/spec do u play? what server?
Oh my god, best question ever. (Though yes, it is nerdy.) My main is a feral druid, and my favorite alt is a holy priest. How about you?


Places like bars, how do you decide who's a likely bottom?
To be honest, I assume that pretty much everyone's a bottom.

I know that sounds like a smart-ass answer, but save for a handful of times, I've rarely run across anyone who didn't want to bottom--in a bar, in a bathhouse, online, name it. There are a lot of bottoms out there. There are a lot of men who call themselves versatile who would truly prefer to bottom but switch just because someone has to. And there are a lot of tops who want to take a break and give it up.

So yes, while it may be true that I'm an arrogant S.O.B. with a sense of entitlement to men's butts, it's also a fact that no matter where I go, I'm wading in a sea of bottoms.


You've previously mentioned that you suspect that you're the biological father of two children outside of your own relationship. Have either of the two couples you've helped impregnate tried to demand child support?
No. With one of the couples, I signed a contract that made clear that while I was the sperm donor, I did not have either any claims upon or responsibilities for the resulting child. The other couple simply had me fuck them until she was pregnant, and then they stopped contacting me. It was only later, after I inadvertently discovered that he had a low sperm count and they'd been trying for a baby for years without success, did I figure out I'd been used for sex and sperm.

There are worse ways to be used.


So... I've never been fucked before. Each time I'm jerking it, I get this burning desire to have a cock up my ass. How would you handle someone like me?
First, I'd suggest purchasing a small toy and using it on yourself while you masturbate. Small, notice I said. A lot of first-timers buy something way too large, discover it's more painful than pleasurable on their initial tries to take it, and give up. Something finger-sized or slightly larger might help.

Fingers work, too. Use plenty of lube and simply play with your hole as you masturbate, and work up to inserting your toy or fingers and seeing what you enjoy. Replicate the things you like, and analyze the stuff you don't.

Finally, find someone you trust to give you your first fuck. Let them in in advance--I prefer knowing, at least, so I can be extra-supportive. A lot of tops prefer experienced holes, so tell him you're not in order that he won't be unduly frustrated. And please make sure to rinse yourself out before you give it up. That way neither you nor your top will be embarrassed.

The steps from virgin to experienced bottom aren't many, and aren't difficult to take. You simply have to act upon it, rather than fantasize.



Honorable slut daddy sexy grizzly bitch you, Sir: Have you ever had sex with a CIA or an FBI person?
Your grizzly daddy bitch is flattered that you think he could seduce an agent of espionage or a skilled FBI professional. but the answer is no. Not to my knowledge, anyway.

Of course, if I had, I'd probably be required to give that answer anyway, wouldn't I?

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