Sunday, October 30, 2011

Sunday Morning Questions: 10-Day Load Edition

Yep. As you might have grasped from the title of this week's outing, it's been ten days since I shot a load.

Ten. Whole. Days. Which in Breeder Time is something like seven years.

It's not as if originally I intended to go for so long without ejaculating. It's true that since my teens I've never been the kind of guy who felt compelled to masturbate several times a day, or even daily. I prefer my orgasms to come not from my hand, but from interaction with other people. So while at times in my sexual history that means I've been fucking and shooting at least once a day, if not more even more, there have been other periods in which the action's been a little slower. Like, the entire period in which I've lived in my new state.

So the last time I shot a load was with the Latin boy from In the Leaves. A day or three passed. I made arrangements to get together with someone with whom I've been acquainted for about five years, at this point. His place in the city was going to be free, and he wanted me to come visit and giving him a fucking he'd remember. We agreed to meet Thursday. Well, I thought to myself. Maybe he'd get a kick out having a seven-day load in that hole of his. That'd be an appropriate way to show him how much I've anticipated finally meeting him, wouldn't it?

I could do seven days, I figured. I've done seven days before. It wasn't easy. But I buckled down, got busy, and kept away from temptation until Wednesday night. That's when my friend called and asked if he could get a rain check on our date. I was disappointed, naturally, but the guy was a real class act about it, so I couldn't have any hard feelings.

What I could've done is whacked one out right then, just to get rid of all the tension. It does get tense down there, when I'm not getting regularly laid, or even masturbating. When I sleep at night, my dick is hard the entire time—and not just hard, but red and raging and so aching that I spend all night thrusting it into the mattress and dampening the sheets with pre-cum. When I wake up, it's sore. (And no, before you ask, I've never had a nocturnal emission in my life.)

What I did do, however, was immediately make another date with someone I've been meaning to meet for a few months, now. You guys have seen him in here before, and you'll get the details after we fuck. But I thought to myself as I made that date, Yeah, it's even more appropriate that this one, when we meet on Sunday, could get a ten-day load as his first seed from me. I can do three more days, right?

Well. Let me tell you. The extra three days have been the hardest of my life. Pun intended.

It seems like once I made that decision and promise to get to ten days—which very well may be a record in my adult life, I don't know—the forces of the universe conspired to get me to break that vow. Dry as Connecticut has been sexually since last June, suddenly it became sodden with sexual offers. Guys I'd never seen before were crawling out of the woodwork. All of them had places to host. All of them were available at the times that best suited my vagrant's schedule.

Worse still, all of them wanted to do every perverse act in my repertoire. There wasn't a single deviant sexual deed proscribed by the Catholic Church or the National Legion for Decency that wasn't tossed at my feet. And the only thing I could do was walk away. And whimper. I did a lot of whimpering.

So, mister. You know who you are. If you're reading this, and i'm pretty sure you will, know what a very, very, very long ten days this has been—and do me a favor, after you milk out my seed. Don't make me do it again.

Let's get to some questions from (and if you're a newer reader, feel free to use the service, anonymously or not, to ask me your questions).

Felching. Yes or No

Oh yes. If the guy's hole is clean and attractive, very much yes.

Do you think you could have any kids you're not aware of?

It is entirely possible.

If you use a Krispy Kreme donut (for those who don't know what this is, it is a small peice of heaven, light dough with a sweet glazing) as the bun for your double cheeseburger, do you call it breakfast or lunch?

I call it delicious, because it really is a good combo.

Do you believe 3 or more people can have a serious, committed exclusive mental, physical and intimate relationship?

I've known people in triads who've had very stable long-term relationships. I don't think I could be in one of those arrangements, but I know many people wouldn't want to be in mine, either.

Do you still think about your exlover(s) from time to time?

I always try to honor the people who meant something important in my life—particularly those who gave themselves to me in body and in spirit.

Would this be your moto? "If you breed, make sure you seed"

It's a good motto, to be sure.

Do you go to bars/clubs? If so do you dance and drink or are you there for the chance of meeting someone/ hooking up?

I go to bars. I've rarely been to a bar solely for the reason of picking someone up, though—there are easier, faster, and less frustrating ways to do that. Typically when I go to a bar it's for the purpose of socializing, or getting out of the house, or just hanging out with friends and meeting new people.

What subject would you NEVER discuss on a first date with a cutey?

Politics and religion. If I were making suggestions of what to avoid, I'd recommend that guys not talk about how lonely they are and how much they've longed for a soulmate, and how most guys are fakes and phonies. It's a little bit of a needy turn-off when I've had those things brought up too early in an aquaintanceship.

Since you're in a committed relationship, why choose to have an open relationship? What purpose does it serve, other than getting your rocks off, and do you believe it is strengthening the relationship, overall?

When you ask your question in this way, you betray a bias. What's wrong with getting one's rocks off? Why is enjoying sex a bad thing? If you're so quick to dismiss and trivialize a fundamental enjoyment of life and one of its most fulfilling aspects, you're going to be even quicker to dismiss any arguments I make in its favor.

How would you ask the question "Since you're in a committed relationship, why choose to have an open relationship? What purpose does it serve, other than getting your rocks off, and do you believe it is strengthening the relationship, overall?" and answer it?

That's actually a good question. Thanks for trying again.

I would ask the question without the parts that give away bias and that are judgmental, because the only purpose they serve is to put the recipient of your question on the defense. Even a choice of phrases like 'getting your rocks off' indicates (to my ears, anyway) that you tend to think of sex as something crude and toss-away, perhaps even something to be joked about. When you ask what 'purpose' sex serves, it tells me you compartmentalize your sexual nature and don't see it as an integrated part of your everyday life, and that you try to keep it out of your everyday affairs.

These things may or may not apply to you, but that's what I hear when you ask the question in such a way. Even if they are true, you need to accept that others are not of the same mindset. i see sex as something to be celebrated and enjoyed, though it can be difficult and tricky—and yes, even funny. It's very much a part of my life, with a purpose of enriching it.

Every relationship has its own story. Many couples in open relationships simply don't expect, for a variety of reasons, the other person to have to meet all their sexual needs. They might enjoy the recreational aspect of sex, and have a relationship strong enough in which jealousy does not play a major role. They might not physically be able to fulfill certain needs for each other. Or they might even regard sex in the light most people regard friendship—we don't ask our mates to give up all other friends when we form a couple, so why should we ask them to give up all physical contact?

For couples who are wide-eyed and honest about their desires and how they configure their relationship, it's always going to be stronger overall. Open or closed.

The point is that every relationship is different. You might not understand every single one, but it's not your relationship. You don't have to. If you want fidelity in a relationship, find someone to whom you'll be faithful. If you want a partner who'll never cheat on you, search for one.

But you need to remember that what you want is not always what other couples want. Your way is not the right way, and you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the priorities and arrangements of others in a dismissive manner.


  1. I really hope the guy is worth a ten day load, but I don't doubt it if you think so. Some day I would love a saved up load from you. Or any load really. I just like the idea of being what brings you relief. But that's another story.

    I love your answer to the last question. I have always felt that I will be in an open relationship because I know that no one person could be everything for me, and it would not be fair for me to expect that of them. Though, I have to say, any kind of relationship sounds good these days. Been too long since Ace slept in a bed with someone he loved. Actually, you were that last person. Damn. Been way too long then.


  2. Holy Crap! I'd be climbing the walls after 3 days, let alone 7 or 10. I admire your willpower, along with your outlook and poise.

    I really wish more people could learn to separate sex from love. I am happily married for nearly 20 years. I have no desire to form another strong emotional bond; my wife is a fantastic person and I intend to spend the rest of my life with her. We have been unable to have sex for a decade, because of her disability, and it hurts both of us a great deal, but to imply that my having sex with other men has any impact on how much I love her, or even anything to do with how much I love her, is a shallow interpretation of what love really is.

  3. Why do you subject yourself to this lengthy period of abstinence? Your dedication is ... inspiring though.

    This Formspring feature is very interesting. I like your answers although it seems I have read some of the questions more than once.

  4. I'm not a fan of Krispy Kreme donuts, never cared for them the couple of times I've tried them at someones house.

    Now a creamed filled donut with man made cream (wink wink you all know what I mean), would be a hit. :-)

    That could be an interesting pick up line in a bar "Will you fill my donut"