Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Someone's Poem, For Real

“If I were to write a poem about you,” someone said about me not too long ago, “I’d write about the feel of your skin, the smell of you, the way you taste on my tongue. You’d be the best poem I ever wrote.”


The poem that came out of that encounter is certainly the best poem I’ve ever read. Thank you for writing it about our night together, Ace. It’s beautiful. And thank you for letting me share it with my readers.






Someday I’ll Read You This Poem and 
You’ll Fall in Love with Me All Over Again

lying beside you crushed
pushing my way inside
hard press pull me through
envelope me deeper and longer


this is not about sex
two bodies rubbed and raw
lubricated by sweat
this is not about sex
me trying to push the other side
so far in I’m nearly out


your nimble back jumps
my fingers trace your nerves
pattern of swirling war pant
the scars from pulling marking
passage of flames and breath


can’t compare your taste
to chocolate can’t
compare your taste to flowers
there is nothing before worthy
nothing to describe pleasure
not sweet not sour not bitter not salt not umami
your taste of the absence of taste


if I sound obsessed it is because I am
obsessed with the sound of you the
way you play upon my lips
you vibrate inside me you shake
around me a drum slowly beating
crooning “row row row” while you
skip at the cool air I blow over you


this is about love
the way it can grow at a moment
a moment grows to a year or more
this is about love
our love will make pulling apart worse
the pain a testament to our pleasure

Monday, May 9, 2011

Our Far-Flung Correspondents: FelchingPisser Does CLAW

You guys remember my personal friend FelchingPisser. He's written a couple of guest columns for me before in which he's described some of his adventures with Chgowaterbuddies and at MAL. He's irresistible to me not only because he's hot as hell in person, but because he's an intelligent and educated pig whose philosophy of fucking corresponds pretty well to my own. As a person, he's a gem. And when he volunteers to write a column for me, I leap at the chance, because I know you guys enjoy him, too.

Today he's written in to recount some of his adventures in Cleveland, where he went for the annual CLAW convention. Be sure to thank him for his contribution (and his general hotness) in the comments, would ya? (And as a personal note to FelchingPisser: I want to know more!)


Thursday

It had been an awful Thursday morning:

A few hours at work where no one returned phone calls or emails.

Packing the car quickly before it rained.

Realizing seven miles out of town I had not packed my boots.

A U-turn with a litany of profanity.

Stopping by my parent’s assisted living facility to pay for next month--to be told it now had to be mailed to corporate headquarters.

Garbage. I need to escape: CLAW X

I head south to Toledo. Past the Breeder’s favorite rest area (too bad it’s on the wrong side of the highway…). I stop at the glory hole bookstore in Toledo to buy lube---and to find the arcade is closed for cleaning….Jeez--Come ON!!

I arrive in Cleveland with ease. Find the Hampton Inn with ease. My mood is brightening. I’d asked for a single king-size bed--so I’d have room for the sling. And that’s what they give me. Set up is a breeze. Move around an easy chair and the sling sits in one corner with the rim seat next to it. Have a sling and hungry bottoms will beat a path to your door…

Quick dinner and online. It’s set up day for CLAW and the leather crowd is busy, so I’m guessing I will play with a local who appreciates the leather boys coming to town. Instantly I get a hit. My earlier mood has evaporated. In three emails each we connect, approve and meet. YES! The way it’s supposed to work. He’s at my door in no time. A furry blue collar man with a nice build, great chest hair pattern and who swears he can be fucked for hours. He strips. I am in a jock and boots with my leather wrist band. The leather is in the drawer and that’s just fine with both of us. He drops to his knees and proceeds to make the jock incredibly wet before he takes my cock out. He gags as I reach my full hardness in his throat. I toss him on the bed, on all fours and dive into his furry ass. I lick his hole deep. I spread the cheeks and go deeper still--he is panting and babbling. I rear up and slowly slip my cock home.

“Jesus.”

I don’t move for a moment. “Is that the cock you wanted so much?”

“Fuck, yeah”

I slowly begin to move.

His breathing is rapid--then he starts talking absolute filth. “Fill me with your cock. Your fucking huge dick. Fuck, yeah. Fuck me with that dripping pole. Yeah, make me feel it. Fuck. Yeah, Fuck. I want your cock snot deep in me. Fuck…”

I reach down and hold the back of his head, pushing his face into the covers of the bed. It doesn’t stop him reciting his mantra--it just makes it unintelligible.

We continue on the bed for awhile. Then I pull him up and get him into the sling. His ass is spread wide and he can’t keep his index finger out of this ass. I kneel and begin licking around the outside edge. As he pulls his finger out, I lick it off and dive for the hole. His sizable cock is erect. I come up for air and suck just the head into my mouth. I press my fingers against his balls to milk it into my mouth. He gasps as his cock spits a large amount of precum onto my tongue. I don’t swallow. No, I stuff it up his ass with my tongue.

“Oh, fuck. You put my cum in my hole.”

I repeat the process. My own cock is leaking. I smear that against his puffy hole, then push it in deep with my tongue. Finally, my cock enters him again. The chains rattle in time to my thrusts and to his voice. He’s back to babble as we are both lost in sensation. I seem to fuck forever--I know the porn on the computer is over. I pull out, make him clean my cock, then I clean his dripping dick and put it all up his ass.

“Get up. I want to eat that precum out of your hole.”

I lie under the rim seat. He sits gingerly on it. “I’ve never done this.” The seat spreads his hole and my tongue goes deep the first moment.

“Shit!” The strands of precum are dripping from his ass into my mouth. I feel like I’ve never been deeper in anyone’s hole. He’s jerking now, too. My tongue swirls, laps, eats every last incredible drop. Finally, my jaw gives out. I tap his thighs--to get him up. It’s back to the sling. I drive home. I know I’m close. So does he. “Give it to me. Give it to this cock whore.” I shoot. Deep. Long. Big. A good five days worth of cum. My knees buckle and I’m lying on him.

“Please. Eat my hole.” I slowly pull out and begin felching my mega load out of him. “Fuck, yeah. Eat that cum!” In a few swift strokes he spews, almost to his chin. I start to go for his load, but he pushes me away and is up, out of the sling--wiping himself down with the sling towel--and out the door with barely a word spoken-- except for a soft, barely audible “Thanks--that was hot.”

Friday

I start the day by having the Hampton’s breakfast buffet with other leathermen--and a gaggle of teenagers on a field trip-- all watching the Royal Wedding instant replay. Back in my room, I read the Open Forum Friday on Cocksuckers over one more cup of coffee. By one o’clock it’s off to registration at the main hotel--easier this year, then the endless lines of other years. I go down to the Vendor’s Mart, and say hello to my buds at The Leather Man. Everywhere I turn, I swear there is a man I played with from previous years: The piss drinker, The guy I fucked on the motorcycle, The glory hole booth guy I fucked as he was sucking cock, The boy who found me every time he took a load so I could felch it. My dance card could be filled just with these re-dos. I wander the various displays of goods, but feel no need to reach for my wallet. I walk home--I’m ready to play.

Almost immediately I am hit up on Man-Hunt by a guy who wants to suck my cock. I type back that I’m looking for more. He says I can fuck him, but he’s not sure he can take my size. I respond with saying that still sounds problematic. He asks if he can recommend a bottom for both of us to use. Now he’s talking--I check this new guy’s pics--Yes! 15 minutes later, the would-be sucker knocks on my door. He’s far better looking than his pics, (early 40’s, hairy, defined but not worked out) and sports a large wedding ring. We strip and don’t wait for the third. He is hungry. He is on his knees and slurping on my thickening cock. I pull him up, get him on the bed, with his head hanging over the edge to fuck his face. He moans as my cock slaps his nose and cheek. I insert slowly. Adding half an inch at a time. He’s panting. And jerking like mad. I hope he lasts until the bottom arrives. Just as I have a good fuck rhythm started, there is a knock on the door…

I open the door on an attractive guy, about the same age, but of slightly smaller build. Rick, he tells me. I greet him and return to Married Guy on the bed. He hangs his head right back over, telling me to fuck his face. I start, as the bottom strips. He jumps on the bed with us, gets between MG’s legs and starts sucking. He sits on MG’s cock as soon as it’s slightly wet and gets massive points from me for finding my mouth with his own--while there is still some precum in it. I pull out of MG’s mouth and go around to see the fucking. His cock is thicker than I’d thought--and looks terrific in the bottom’s ass. I lean forward and lick the disappearing shaft. Excellent. I stand on the bed, straddling MG. I kiss Rick to see if he’s ok with the Ass To Mouth moment. His answer is to groan, and stick his tongue deeper into mine. We kiss--lost in the exchange of juices. I straighten up and put my cock into Rick’s mouth as he continues to ride. Wow, no bad blow jobs here.

Soon I am lying on the bed. I have Rick bouncing on my cock and MG sitting on my face. He almost suffocates me. But I kinda like that. After a few minutes, I suggest it would be easier with the rimseat. I get under. But Rick sits on the seat to let me taste what the two cocks have done to his hole. MG is standing up so Rick can suck him as I eat Rick‘s ass. The smell of poppers in the room is almost overpowering. After what seems like a long time the guys switch. I’m still in place, but now I’m rimming MG’s ass as Rick slowly inserts my cock in his incredibly wet hole. I have to use every ounce of will not to shoot. I get past it and let him control the fuck. I have no choice, really. I’m fucking pinned to the floor by two men in heat.

“Fuck me in the sling,” Rick whispers. Both stand and Rick helps me up. I let MG slide into him first. He fucks but looks like he could blow any minute. He pulls out and tells me he wants to watch me fuck. I enter the bottom again. But the new position of Rick on his back feels totally different. “Oh, God…you go so deep,” he hisses. “Fuck!” I start to slam into him. Hard.

After several minutes, MG says if he’s gonna try my cock it has to be now. Rick gets out of the sling, MG gets in. I rim for another moment…hoping he can take me. I meet with a clenched hole. I tongue him some more as Rick bites his nipple. That opens him right up. I stand and insert. MG is panting. I wonder if he’s going to hyperventilate. He is still tight. I start to fuck. Slowly. His eyes roll into the back of his head. Rick continues on his nipples. I increase the pace. We both sense he‘s going to blow fast. Rick dives for his cock, pulling away his hand. He’s just in time. He gets a mouthful of cum as MG groans. I slow the fuck and ease out of his married hole. Rick comes around the sling frame and kisses me, snowballing the load. I make a noise deep in my throat and bend him over, on top of MG. I spread his well fucked ass cheeks and reverse felch the load now in my mouth into Rick’s hot, wet hole. It’s his turn to groan. MG holds on to him as I slip my dripping cock into Rick--pushing the load deep. Where he’d really wanted it. Where he’d had it many other times….

I fuck for a bit, but MG needs to take off. I reposition Rick on the bed, doggie style, as MG dresses, excuses himself and leaves. I dip down and taste his hole again. Fabulous. It’s so good I scramble up on the bed to share the taste still on my tongue with Rick. I lose all track of time, I have no idea how long we fuck--never leaving the bed again. Finally, with his legs on my shoulders, his eyes locked with mine, I grunt, grind and thrust a load deep into his guts. I collapse on him--Rick pulling me tighter. I leave my meat in place to marinate. Our breathing stills, becomes one--and he’s asleep in my arms. I am close to sleep myself. Maybe I nod off. Long minutes later, I pull away just enough to look at him still sleeping, his breathing on the edge of a snore. It’s a mini triumph for me--the first man I’ve allowed to sleep in my arms since I became a widower…

Friday Night

Rick has gone. I’ve slept and eaten a late supper. It’s 10 o’clock and I need to dress for the Recon/reFlex play party. This is what makes CLAW different than other leather events--it’s not just hotel sex, there is a playspace. Over the years they have had various dungeon spaces, but for the last few, the Flex bathhouse has given them the upper floor of a warehouse that is not part of the regular bathhouse. There are slings, gloryholes, crosses, a bondage table, a tire swing, a fuck bench, a motorcycle to bend your boy over, and a barnyard feeding trough for piss play. It is modeled on the Fort Troff Maneuvers spaces.

I open the closet door. The smell of leather fills the room. I am showered and naked. I add the metal, slightly rusty cockring. Yellow jock. Thick wool socks. Combat boots. Chaps. Harness. Left black leather wrist band. Right black and yellow wrist band. I look at myself in the mirror. Yeah. I slip into the flight suit to cover it all so I can walk through the lobby.

The doors open at 11. I check in at 11:30. I like to watch the troops gather. First stop the piss trough. Still empty, but I christen it with a long flow. One of the guys watching me is the man I fucked across the motorcycle last year after he’d spent hours on the bondage table. He’s hot, my age, looks like the mechanic we all wish was under our car. He stops me from putting my cock away. He kneels and begins to give excellent head. It’s like an alarm sounds--or our images are flashed on a huge screen--for we go from being almost alone to suddenly ringed with guys watching us. Neither of us care. My cock is now hard. He leaves it and starts sucking my balls. A hand snakes out of the crowd and wrenches my cock as if it were just a hunk of salami. I remove the offending hand and put it back in the cocksuckers mouth. Hands are on my nipples, my ass cheeks, on the back of the boy’s head. A short Hispanic boy, with an tool nearly as big as mine, is the one forcing him down on me. We get him up. I pull the boy’s pants down, bend him toward the Hispanic’s cock and kneel to lick his hole. I don’t spend long. I get it wet, stand, slap my cock on his hole. He grunts around the dick lodged in his throat. The crowd is jacking. I insert, driving him all the way down on the cock in his mouth. I fuck. I turn him around. He hungrily cleans my cock as the Hispanic slips up him. Eventually we take him to a sling and continue tagging his ass.

No one is looking to cum. We have hours to pace ourselves and sample all sorts of men. The crowd is building. It’s hard to tell, but I would guess 100 to 125 men are there. I eventually head back to the piss tub. A boy is reclining in it. I wet him down, letting my piss play around his hard cock, up his chest and flirting with his mouth. I let him decide if he wants to drink. Of course he does. He dips and slurps.

The next few hours become a blur of hungry mouths, hungrier holes, and some piss pouring down my gullet. I am in a state of constant arousal. I make my way around the to the fuck bench. A young Asian sub is in it being plowed by a massively muscled black man. It’s absolutely riveting. The crowd is stroking, but no one seems to be allowed to touch the boy. I join the audience watching the fuck from the side. The top’s arm snakes out and pulls me to him. “Fuck my boy bareback. But don’t cum in him.” He doesn’t have to ask me twice. I kneel and taste the sweet, young hole. My cock pushes in. The boy squeals for his daddy. But daddy is busy selecting some lucky hole from the crowd. He brings the chosen bottom over in front of his boy and bends him over. The two bottoms grab onto each other as we plow. We fuck in rhythm so the two boys are mashed toward each other. The site of the four of us leads to any number of other couplings around us. There is fucking everywhere. The black top tells me to let a guy to my right into his boy and I should try the guy he got out of the crowd. We change…my new hole is very wet. Then as suddenly as it erupted, it all stops as the Black top pulls his boy up and away.

I head back to the piss area. Two gorgeous leather clad men in full gear are about to piss. I kneel in front of one. “I’m piss shy,” he says. 
“But I’m not.” His boy friend pushes over to me. His cock rests lightly on my tongue. No sucking now. Just wait. He starts to piss. It’s everything I love about piss drinking. Sweet tasting. And that endless flow. That never ending cumshot. I start to suckle a little on his cock. I hear his boyfriend piss in the tub behind us. Having piss fill me up makes me instantly erect. As he finishes pissing, the man I’m drinking leans over and touches my cock. “Look at this thing.” The piss shy boy makes me stand up. The top fondles my cock along with the boy. “You’d like that up your hole wouldn’t you?” The boy only nods. I look at the feeder. He nods. I bend the pee shy boy over the tub and begin to rim. Great hole. I push in. His partner begins kissing me as I fuck his boyfriend. I think this may be it. I’m closer to cumming now than I’ve been all night. An older man reaches out to touch us. The boys will have none of that, dammit. They stop me and say come back to the hotel. I consider---but say no.

I make the circuit of all the playspaces. But I‘ve been spoiled. Nothing looks good now. Until I get to the fuck bench. A muscle god in leather. Tattooed angel wings on his back. Arms that make me weak-kneed. And he only has eyes for my cock. I get him in the sling next to the fuck bench. I kneel, at worship for those gym built thighs. His ass is all muscle. I use my hands to part those cheeks to let my tongue in. He whimpers. I ‘m sure I can taste some cum. There may be a crowd, but we are lost in what we are doing for each other. I rise, wipe my drooling cock head on his hole. “Oh, yeah!” he moans.

“You want this in you?”

“Fuck man. I need some cum. I’ve only got a couple of loads.”

I kneel and lick my precum off his hole, lean across him and kiss him. Long, wet, passionate. My brain clicks. I know I will load this man. I slowly begin working my cock in as we kiss. He is sucking so hard on my tongue that I can barely get my breath. I start slowly fucking. It builds rapidly. Faster than I meant to. His ass is doing incredible things on the entire length of my cock. We are beyond words. I begin to buck wildly into his ass.

“Breed me. Come on, breed me!”

I thump on his chest. “Yeah. Yeah.”

“Fuck me!”

I begin a low rumble in the back of my throat. “Fuuuckkkkkkk!”

I shoot. A build up of hours and hours of play. I collapse across him. He holds me. I can’t stand. His ass will not let me pull out. Nor do I want to. I kiss him. He responds hungrily. Slowly we return to be aware of others around us. From out of the crowd, a cute young leather man emerges. His boyfriend. I slowly pull out. The boyfriend samples the left over jizz on my cock. I help the muscle god out of the sling. We hug. Tight. They leave. I hold on to the sling and pull myself together. I retrieve my bag and slip into the flight suit. I slowly make my way down the stairs and out to the car. It’s 4:30 am. Five hours of play--not bad. Not bad at all…

Coda: Those are the first two days of my four day trip. I’ll post the rest later if The Breeder, and you folks, would like to know more….

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Sunday Morning Questions: Stalker Edition

There used to be a group in the area—I know they still exist elsewhere—in which a bunch of gay guys would agree to meet at a straight bar for a night of revelry. No one would know the bar's location until the very last minute, and then they'd swoop down and take over for the night. Guerilla gay bar, it's called.

Well, I was out with friends last night and had the tables turned. A party bus stopped in front of my usual Saturday-night haunt and belched out dozens of straight couples, who proceeded to come in and take over the place. They whooped and hollered and wore sequined cowboy hats and scarves around their heads (the men and women alike), and generally took over so much of the bar that the regulars were all pushed into the back, where it was less crowded and the noise wasn't so oppressive.

It was well after eleven, and in these cramped quarters, when a guy walked up to me. A total stranger. I could tell by his heavy eyelids and his slightly unsteady gait that he'd had a couple of drinks. Even if I hadn't noticed those details, the fact that he walked right up and stood right next to me, so that his face was approximately six inches from mine. A little too close for comfort, in other words. He stared at me, and worked his lips to speak.

The six or seven people with whom I was sitting at the moment all turned to look at the guy, too—just in time for when his lips finally parted and he spat out, in the too-loud volume of the inebriated, "I just wanted to tell you that I'm not stalking YOUR MANHUNT PROFILE."

Honestly. To my ears, that's the way it sounded. The only thing that would've made it worse was if a sudden hush had fallen across the bar at that exact moment.

Now, I'm not ashamed of having a Manhunt profile. I'm not ashamed of what's in it. What I am unused to, however, is strangers in bars shouting about it in public. I raised my eyebrows. "I'm really not STALKING YOU ON MANHUNT," he said. "I just keep opening your profile because your main profile photo DOESN'T HAVE YOUR FACE—heh-heh-heh!—and then I see your face and I'm like, oh yeah, that's who it is, because you've got it all out there, you've REALLY GOT IT ALL OUT THERE. ON MANHUNT." He took a swig from his drink. "But I'm not STALKING YOU THERE or anything, just so you know. I just want to reassure you, I'm NOT STALKING YOU ON MANHUNT."

And all I could really think at that moment was, What the fuck?  Because up until then, I didn't think that anyone was stalking me on Manhunt. After that confession, I was pretty sure someone was. And what in the world is one supposed to say to that kind of thing? Laughing it off and telling the guy it was totally fine to keep stalking me on Manhunt was beyond me.

"Yeah," I finally said, stunned, but knowing I had to say something. "That's really a great opener. You should keep that."

It was apparently enough of a rebuff, or at least a reminder of what the guy might have sounded like to someone sober, that it caused him to retreat, red-faced, to another table. He avoided me for the rest of the night. Then I went home and pored through my track list, trying to find traces of stalking.

Fun evening!

Today's questions are rounded up from my formspring.me responses. Pop on over to the service and ask me what you'd like, anonymously.


Why did Earl wear a wedding ring? I think I remember reading that in the first Earl entry. Were there ever times when he'd be fucking you and Topher-the other kid at the same time?

Earl wore a wedding ring because of his relationship with his partner Jim. I don't think they had an actual commitment ceremony (or if they did, it was before I knew them), but Earl did go out and buy some big ol' matching rings for the both of them.

Topher and I never saw each other at Earl's place except at a few parties. There were times that Earl fucked us both at those, but the parties could be pretty much a free-for-all when it came to screwing.


Knowing that I find a wide variety of men's bodies to be attractive, I'd like it if you would describe a couple of your features that you think I would find nice to look at (not your dick, and not just "My face is ok.")

I get a lot of compliments on my hands, which are lengthy, long-fingered, and narrow. One of my readers once commented that he wanted to watch me eat French fries with my fingers. I charge good money for my French fry action, though.

I also have nice eyes.


Do you like your hair? What would you change about it if you could easily do it?

My hair is a dark blond and very fine in texture. Too fine, if you ask me—it has a tendency to do what it wants regardless of styling product. And what it usually wants is to part itself down the middle, like some seventies teen idol.

I've hated my hair for most of my life. It was either messy, or too long, or badly styled. When everyone else had big New Kids on the Block hair, mine was flat and longish; when everyone got Caesar cuts in the nineties, it seemed out of date and hopeless. When guys shaved their heads close in the new millennium, I was the only one with hair, and a lot of it.

But then I kind of found out that other guys really liked it, sometimes. And as I grew older and more at peace with myself, I found I liked it too. Still, I keep threatening to shave it all off.

My last haircut was in December. I missed my January cut and keep putting off rescheduling.


Have you ever had sex with someone related to you?

I've kind of covered this before, but yes.


What's your experience with words that work in things like CL posts? Not words that are poetic, but words that get responses.

I'm not really a fan of Craigslist, at least in my area. I tend to get more signs of intelligent life when I visit other cities and use it, however.

'Top' always gets responses, but I have noticed that certain other keywords get a reaction, too. If I describe myself as a 'dad', I always get a slew of young guys who want to work on some daddy dick. If I use a phrase like 'your mancunt', I'll get a lot of guys who are very submissive.

I'd suggest being blunt and describing what you want without being coy—but don't go overboard. A few choice words will usually get guys sending you responses, even though the vast majority here in the midwest will be from guys who apparently never read anything you wrote anyway.


What can your partner (or best friend) say that really annoys you most?

"What do you mean, I'm loading the dishwasher wrong?"

Gets me every time. I've only explained it about a kerjillion times now.


when you bottomed, what's the biggest dick that you ever took?

It was about eleven inches, and was one of the last dicks I bottomed for before beginning the transition to topping.


favorite song at the moment??

Duran Duran and Ana Matronic, "Safe."


Bears are _____________ (insert adjective here)

Encouraged to sit on my dick.


When you smile, do you consciously try to control your face in any way? (Like not show teeth, or any other consideration?)

I consciously try to show as many teeth as possible, so that no one notices my thin lips.


How much of the advantage had by guys looking to top stems from ED on the part of the guys who wind up bottoming?

I'm not sure what you mean by ED. Erectile Dysfunction? Because the huge majority of the bottoms I've fucked have been rock hard during the act.

I don't know that either part has an 'advantage' during sex. It takes two people to copulate. When the act is going on, one's got to be a top. The other's got to bottom. Each has its advantages and disadvantages but neither is more privileged than the other—they're simply two halves to an equation. Without one of them, the other person is simply a masturbator.


would you be willing to relocate for the person you really care for?

I think the fact I'm trying to sell my house and move across the country for someone's happiness should answer that question.


Rob: not to get too granular or anything, but have you done any fucking in les Grosses? Farms, Shores, etc?

I've fucked in all the Grosses. Except maybe Ile.


Haven't been in Detroit in years, but I can't imagine what it looks like as a place that lost 1 out of 4 residents in last ten years. Do you see depopulation everywhere? Or is it concentrated in some areas?

The urban area known as Detroit is a large collection of suburban cities spread across three counties, surrounding the actual city of Detroit. It's the actual city that's experienced depopulation. While a lot of those leaving have indeed abandoned the state, most have simply moved into the suburbs, for their better schools and lower crime rates; the state only lost 0.6% of its population in the same period.

There are sections with in the Detroit city limits that are fairly abandoned, and have been proposed to be converted to farmland or other public-use property. Most of these areas are in neighborhoods, and not necessarily in the downtown area, which can be bustling and friendly and quite safe.

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Game

Those of you who also follow me on Twitter might have picked up from my desperate tweets (Somebody please make these fifth-graders stop farting!) that I’ve been spending a lot of my last couple of weeks playing piano for kids.

I’ve never claimed to be an especially great pianist. I can’t improvise. I’m not one of those musicians who can sit down and play anything by ear, though I might be able to plunk out the melody with an index finger and a whole lot of fumbling. I can’t transpose a piece from D to A-flat major, the way some of my friends can. But I can sit down in front of a piece of music and sight-read it well, and I’m fantastic at listening to a solo instrumentalist and following their musical instincts. Plus I don’t miss a whole lot of notes. Particularly on those occasions I’m present-minded enough actually to glance at the key signature at the beginning of the piece.

Certainly my skills are good enough to accompany a bunch of ten-year-old monkeys playing a three-part rendition of “We Will Rock You” written entirely in big fat quarter notes. Though inevitably there will be some little Suzuki savant who will want to play some spritely concerto that involves accidentals and sixteenth notes and other roadblocks that actually require me to pay attention.

I know a lot of music teachers in various school systems—all of them big ol’ lesbians. (Which is not so much a comment on their personal size, as on the sheer bulk of their lesbianism.) I’m not trying to imply that every female choral, orchestral, and band teacher in my metropolitan area happens to exhibit Sapphic tendencies . . . well, yeah, that’s totally what I’m saying. When Christmas and this time of year roll around, though, my piano-playing skills happen to be in demand. Those two periods are the height of the concert seasons, of the solo and ensemble festivals, and of the dreaded regionals, which are usually infinitely less exciting than they seem on Glee. So I get hired a lot.

The pay’s pretty good. But other than the noise and the smell of post-lunch farts and of gym socks and that vaguely horsey odor of the prepubescent, and other than the prospect of having to play the Boccherini Minuetto eleventy-billion times, the main reason I sometimes dread going into the schools where one of my friends is teaching is because I know I’m going to have to play The Game.

Ah, The Game. That’s the short version of an amusement my teacher friends leave with the unspoken title of Guess Which Of My Students Will Someday Be A Future Full-Fledged Card-Carrying Homosexual American Citizen? I first heard of it years ago, when the teachers would compare notes over dinner or drinks, like this:

BAND TEACHER 1: That little short kid with the dark hair who wore the blue T-shirt. . . .
BAND TEACHER 2: Dale? Oh, you think so? Yeah, I could see it. But if so, he’ll be the closeted type with a twink boyfriend on the side and four kids in the minivan.
1: And that one with the curls. . . .
2: Justin? No way!
1: No, not Justin. The one with the blond curls.
2: Oh, Adam? Well duh! Totally! And let me tell you, that Bible-thumping mother of his is going to freak out when he comes popping out of the closet.

I didn’t believe in The Game for a long time. In fact, at first I refused to play it when Marian, one of my teacher friends, cornered me after one of her choir rehearsals. Scarcely had I finished playing the last bars of “Go Tell Aunt Rhodie” than she shooed her charges from the classroom and beetled over. “So?” she asked.

“So what?” I wanted to know.

“So!” she said, impatient with my obliviousness. “Which ones?”

“Which ones what?” I was baffled.

“Which ones are going to be fam-i-ly?” she growled, sotto voce. “Play The Game!”

It was then that I remembered The Stupid Game. “Ohhhh,” I said, finally understanding. I looked around the room at the graceless homunculi loping in from the hall. “Marian, they’re ten,” I pointed out.

“Trust me,” she said, standing up to take control of the classroom once again. “You can tell. You. Can. Tell. You can pooh-pooh it now, but ask any teacher. All I need is a few minutes in any classroom and I can tell you exactly who, in eight years time, is going to be adding me on Facebook and will have a profile that reads ‘I am: A Man/Interested in: Men. You look at the next class. Then we’ll compare notes.”

Throughout the rest of the morning I studied the class when I wasn’t playing the piano, knowing that I was going to be grilled later on. Sure enough, the moment that the students began to file back to their homerooms, Marian shot over. “Well?” she asked.

“The little boy with that cowlick?” I replied, uncertainly.

“NO,” she said, in the same acid tone Anne Robinson employs when she tells someone that he is the Weakest Link—goodbye! “WRONG.”

“Jesus Christ, woman,” I said, peeling myself from the cinderblock wall against which she’d blasted me.
 
“Try again!”

I sighed. “These children are barely self-conscious yet. They’re bundles of impulse and reaction, still testing the world around them with hypotheses they can hardly express. That anything—anything—can be predicted about their futures and their potential is a fallacy in and of itself. Therefore—“

“Shut your fat trap and try again,” she growled.

“Fine. How about the little girl who was over on the left?” I asked weakly, pointing to the approximate area where she’d stood. Marian shook her head, needing more to go on. “She had on a white sweater? The one with the really, really short hair?” The girl in question had sported little more than a fine buzzed down on her head that made her look as if she were a nascent political protestor. She looked like Sinead O’Connor about to rip the Pope’s photo in half. If she wasn’t being raised by lesbian parents, there was at least a highly-militant mother somewhere in the background. "She looked all punk-y."

"Emily?" she asked, astonished. I shrugged. I didn't know the girl's name. “Oh sweetie.” Marian looked at me with pity in her eyes, then patted my leg with unsuppressed condescension. “Emily just got back to school last week. She's our little cancer survivor.”

Last night I was sitting in a stinking, stuffy gymnasium doubling as an auditorium, where an 88-piece orchestra of fifth-graders hopped up on, and farting from, their dinners bounced nervously in their chairs while their families waited for the concert to start. My teacher friend, who’d managed single-handedly to tune all the instruments while coping with the thousand student questions that pop up at these things, was busily trying to string a microphone cord between chairs so she could get the concert going.

Nearby, a kid sporting a violin tucked his instrument beneath his arm and ran his fingers through his Justin Bieber hair. “Hey JONAH!” he yelled out to a friend in the cello section. “Did you see the LADY GAGA VIDEO for ‘Judas’? It came out today!” His friend shouted out something I couldn’t hear through the hubbub. “I know, it was SUPPOSED to debut on Entertainment Weekly tonight but it leaked on YouTube earlier! I've watched it like, a hundred and seventy-four times after school. The dancing is SICK. I know, right? They're like...!” Then, still clutching his violin, he pulled out some of the moves that Gaga’s considerably buffer and less formally-dressed dancers typically execute. He looked a little like a hip-hop fiddler on the roof, but I have to hand it to the kid, he had all kinds of fabulous going on. “And she's like, I'm in love with Judas, Joooo-das! You just know Britney’s going to SPIT GLITTER!”

My teacher friend was regarding me steadily, with her eyebrows raised. “That one,” I said to her, discreetly pointing.

Her hand over the mic, she pulled her mouth into a wry moue. “Ya think?”

“And that, ladies and gentlemen,” I said, making a pantomime of spitting on my hands and rubbing them together, “is how you play The Game.”

“Oh, sweetie.” She patted me on the back and adopted a baby-talk voice. “Helen Keller could’ve picked out that one. From thirty miles away. But you are awfully cute.”

“Whatever,” I grumbled.

She might have made me feel as if I’d only just managed to hit an extremely large inflatable beach ball with an equally outside child’s bat, but at least I was still in The Game.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Mechanic, Again

Yesterday was five months to the day that I last visited the local woods in my town. It’s a useless place to cruise during the long Michigan winter. Not only do I object to the extremes of cold that we get here in the upper midwest, but sex hunting in that particular location is pretty useless during the barren months.

The trees of those woods grow long and narrow and straight, with no evergreens to break the monotony of those uniform trunks rising to the sky. In the winter months, when the trees have shed their leaves, it’s possible to see from one end of the park to the other through those tall and narrow trunks. Anyone attempting to drop their pants there would risk not only frostbite, but being seen. This time of year, though, when the tips of the branches are beginning to get fuzzy with the palest shades of green, there’s less risk. Those trunks become a wall, a curtain of green beyond which a constant stage of connections and separations takes place.

I’d little intention of stopping at the woods, Tuesday. I was on my way to the supermarket on its borders, though, and to take the little detour that would drive me along its perimeter was a trivial thing. I stopped only when I saw how many cars were parked along the hidden street. Aside from the occasional lone dog-walker, the only people who really visit that park are those who are hunting for something more than a half-hour’s commune with nature.

Every spring the city sends some hardy souls into the woods to mark its trails. The volunteers find some of the long trees that have fallen over the roughest of our seasons, and drag them into place to delineate the highest and safest ground. After this week’s rain, only these paths were really solid earth—the rest had turned into a soggy marsh. After I’d locked my car doors and stepped under the canopy of budding green, I had sometimes to balance along the fallen trunks so that I didn’t squelch through the two-inch puddles. As I disappeared into the trees, I heard the car door slam from one of the vehicles parked on the street.

A man was exiting the park as I entered. Our eyes connected for a moment; his studiously swung away and kept straight ahead. I could see another man further down the path, ambling along behind. I gathered by their body language, which was as casual as it was purposeful as they strolled back to their cars with an appearance of no hurry, that they’d just sexed each other in the woods. The guy I passed was far more interesting to me than the one bringing up the rear. The latter was older, bad-complexioned, and large, and carried so much of his considerable weight in his upper chest that he gave an appearance of having so high a center of gravity that a single push would topple him over.

I kept walking.



I was aware that someone was following me into the depths of the woods. I paused and pretended to be looking at a message on my phone so I could study him. He was a shorter fellow in dark work clothes and boots; his hands were stuffed deep into his pockets as he walked past, his head down. I couldn’t see much of his face, but I could plainly tell he had long sideburns with a severe finish at the bottom. When he passed, I realized he was wearing a jacket with the name of an auto shop nearby.

And I thought to myself, Fuck, it can’t be the same guy. The last time I’d visited the park, five months to the day, I’d played with this hot little fucker in the deepest part of the woods. It was him, though. I recognized the name of the shop where he worked.

I followed behind him as he strolled down the path at the wood’s deepest part. The ground beneath was squelchy, but covered with leaves branches enough to keep my feet from sinking in. He stopped on the path, hands in his pockets just waiting.

“How’s it going?” I asked, as I slowly approached him.

“Good,” he said, looking me over. There was a spark of recognition in his eye when I approached. He looked me over, from head to foot. I was wearing a hoodie atop my dress shirt, and a pair of freshly-washed jeans. The last time I’d seen this guy, he’d been in a pair of work overalls. Today he wore a pair of navy blue utility pants and a shirt emblazoned on the front with his name and the auto shop’s identity, beneath his work windbreaker. “It’s muddy out here.”

“Yeah,” I said, “Sure is.” I looked down at his crotch. “Your fly’s open,” I said in a soft voice. It pursed open like a pair of lips, and was lined by his red shorts.

“Oh yeah,” he replied, as if he hadn’t noticed. “Let me fix that.”

My hand reached for it simultaneously with his. “Let me help.”

His palm cupped my hardening dick through my jeans as I pulled out his cock. I remembered it as being thin and small, but entirely proportional for a tiny man like himself. He hissed and sighed as I manipulated it between my warm fingers.

The mechanic had a narrow face between those sideburns. He stared up at me, his face only inches from mine. His eyes bored into my own as he studied me. The last time I’d encountered him, I’d wanted to make out, though he hadn’t. Today it seemed as if he wanted the same thing. I turned my face slightly and lowered it to his. Our lips met and locked, and exerted a slight suction between them. Our tongues touched. A moment later, and we were kissing passionately. I fumbled to release my dick from my jeans and trunks. While we continued kissing crazily, his hands grabbed my dick, and then my nuts. I felt his finger digging into the already-wet tip, then stroking the sides of my balls.

“Gotta suck that,” he said at last. He squatted down, knees pointed to either side, as he engulfed my dick in his mouth. He could only get about half of it in easily. He wanted more, though, and was willing to open his throat to get it. I kept my hands on his shoulders and the back of his head—partly to keep him steady, partly because I liked the feel of his hair between my fingers. My head moved back and forth in the directions of the path, trying to spy any moving figures that might be approaching. There were none.

We were taking a chance, sexing each other on the path like that. Usually in the woods I was more accustomed to disappearing off the paths and into the trees, but the marshy earth prevented any of that. I let the mechanic suck like a crazed man, while I moaned and fucked his mouth. “I don’t suppose you have a place to go,” I wondered at one point, hoping for something more private.

“No,” he said, with what sounded like regret.

Damn. “I want to suck you, too,” I told him.

“Fuck yes,” he said, standing up immediately.

When I put my knee onto the path, I knew right away it was a mistake. I could feel the cold and damp earth muddying the denim immediately. In for a penny, in for a pound, though. I took the mechanic’s dick in my mouth and sucked it hungrily, while I let the mud do its worst. The last time I’d encountered the guy, he’d shot even before I got my mouth on him. This time, however, he was in no hurry to shoot. “I’ll keep watch,” he said, his hands in my hair. “Just suck me.”

For long moments I bobbed up and down on his dick, bringing him closer and closer. “You want my load, buddy?” he asked.

“Fuck yes,” I breathed.

“Stand up,” he ordered.

When I obeyed, he instantly put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me down to him. Our lips met again. We made out with enthusiasm as both of us masturbated ourselves. He gasped, then growled. His hand curved into a fist that squeezed his dick until the head was cherry-red. Then his cream shot out, arcing into the air and splattering onto the earth below.

“Now give me yours,” he commanded, as he squatted down again.

His tongue flicked out to lap at the tip of my cock, where the pre-cum was flowing freely. He nibbled at my nuts, licked my taint, and finally, as I grew closer and closer, turned his tongue into a curved bowl that he inserted directly below my swollen head. It was a receptacle for the load that came pouring out, seconds later. Much of it landed on the ground, and some on his face, but enough of it pooled onto his tongue that when he pulled it back into his mouth to ingest the precious substance, it made him a happy man.

He zipped up, stood, and nodded at me. “Good to see you. Look for me.”

“All right,” was all I said, as I zipped myself. My knee, I noticed with some dismay, was thoroughly muddied, and my hand was covered with my own cum. I let him walk ahead, down the path, as I remained behind to find some tree trunk on which to wipe my seed.

He was pulling away as I finally exited the park. Once again he lifted his fingers in a salute as he passed. And just like five months ago, to the day, he was gone, leaving me with the hope I’d run across him again.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Birthmarks

When the lifted his lips to mine, he had to stand almost on tiptoe to reach me. I was surprised how gentle he was, how tentative at first. After our skin grazed, though, his tongue flicked out. Its tip tickled against the spot in the center, directly beneath the indentation. The hairs of my mustached shifted and prickled against it, before it slipped into the opening and connected with my own tongue.
I felt, rather than heard, him sigh. He tugged me down to him as if afraid I might want to pull away.

I didn’t.

I was a little surprised at how tender he was, as eventually we moved from my front door upstairs to the bedroom. His profile hadn’t indicated anything of the sort—it had been a tangle of ‘ask mes’ and ‘unspecifieds’ and had let me know nothing about the man. He’d let me see his private photo, a murky composition of shadows and acrid yellows that had seemed to point to the fact that the guy was merely shy man in his mid-thirties, and not a total troll. In person, he was both cuter and sweeter than his profile would have let on. With his dark skin, his broad Greek features, and hair so thick and curly that it was like bristles, the man was actually pretty good looking.

We didn’t do much. In the lamplight I let him undress me. His hands roamed over my body, seizing my waist and moving up along my hips and ribcage to the tender areas beneath my arms. He licked tentatively on my nipples, staring up at me the entire time as if he was asking permission. He sucked on my dick, and licked my balls, and gnawed pleasurably at the spots where my legs connected to my pelvis. I had to talk him into removing his pants and sweatshirt. He left his button-down shirt in place, though, seeming embarrassed at the bulk of his hairy body. He wasn’t a heavy man, exactly, but he seemed extremely self-conscious of the few extra pounds he carried.

He trembled when I pulled down his briefs. He didn’t liked to be eaten, he’d told me. He just wanted someone to rub his dick over his hole. I lay him on his side and spooned beside him as I warmed lube in my palm and then gently, so gently, parted his buttocks and spread the goo within. He curled in a fetal position, both hands curled like a boy’s as they clasped the back of his head. His forearms covered his ears. When I pushed at his legs, he drew them up almost to where his elbows touched together.

My dick was slick with the lube when I pushed against him. I let the top side of my shaft slide against the crack. It was like passing the open door of a furnace; I could feel the intense heat from his hole, every time my head passed on its back-and-forth journey down the crack and between his legs. “Is that what you wanted?” I asked.

His head jerked spasmodically. “Yes,” he grunted. With every pass, his knees drew higher. He exposed more and more of his hole as the crack surrounding it widened. When I had him breathing heavily with pleasure, he panted out, “It almost kind of makes me want . . . want to. . . .”

He didn’t need to finish that sentence.I let him pretend for a while more that the sweet sensation of my rod passing back and forth over his most guarded spot was all he needed. When he was relaxed, and sighing, and breathing deeply, I paused. In the guise of shifting positions, I changed the angle of my shaft, and let the head wedge against the hole.

He gasped a little. Without a word, his hands flew back and down, but they stopped short of pushing me away. Instead, the more free of his hands hovered helplessly in the air, as if waiting to see what I would do next. Taking that as permission, I pushed in a little more.

The hole was so hairy that I could feel the hairs rasping my engorged cock head, and so tight that it felt a little bit like trying to push through a brick wall with a marshmallow. My head was wedged in there, though. I ground my hips a little to create some sensation, without trying to scare him. Millimeter by millimeter, I edged in, keeping the pressure constant. His hand flopped helplessly, pawing at something invisible. It then collapsed onto the bed. Whatever fear was in his mind, he’d abandoned, or at least discarded for the moment. The only thing that existed for him was the sensation of my dick, warm and hard in his hole.

When I reached bottom, it seemed as if I’d been fucking for a half-hour already. Perhaps I had been; my entry had been the slowest I’ve made in years. All I knew is that when I pressed my body against his, he began to convulse. My hand moved down to the area of his small, uncut dick, and seconds later came away covered in sticky wetness. Cum dripped onto the blankets. “Oh shit,” he said, panicked. “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I’m real sorry—“

“Sssh,” I whispered to him, stroking his thick hair like I might have tried to calm a worried animal at the vet’s. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry. Thank you.” He relaxed again, so gradually it might have been measured in inches. Meanwhile, I withdrew. He sighed in relief when moments later I was all the way out, my still-hard dick wedged against the warm flesh of his ass. “It was nice of you to meet me,” he whispered into the quiet, after a long while. “And not turning me away after you saw my, you know.”

“Your what?” I murmured, sounding sleepy. His extra pounds? His small dick? Those were inconsequential.

“You know.” I shook my head and grunted. I didn’t know what he meant. “My birthmark.”

I still didn’t understand. “Your what?”

He rolled over, and pointed at his face. “My birthmark.”

The man’s skin was already darker than my own complexion. Hell, uncooked bacon fat has more of a natural tan than I. When I looked carefully at the area he indicated with his forefinger, though, I could tell that part of his face was a little darker than the rest. The area coincided neatly with the hollow of his right eye. It didn’t resemble a birthmark or a black eye so much as it did a trick of the light, a shadow where a shadow might not ordinarily be.

And in a snap I was able to imagine the man’s life in a way I hadn’t, before. All that shyness, those hidden photos, the ask-me’s and the tentativeness—a lifetime of holding back and denying himself—predicated on worrying about men’s reactions to a couple of square inches of discoloration. “I honestly didn’t notice it,” I told him. The words sounded corny. “You know, my face gets red and dry in certain areas. Worrying about other people’s skin is not something I ordinarily do.”

The expression of gratitude he wore at my words was heartbreaking. Incredible, that something so simple as my heedlessness was going to make him feel like a real live person instead of walking monster.

“Do you feel that self-conscious about it?” I asked. His shrug told me that he did, though he might not have wanted to admit it to me. “Were you picked on in school and stuff?”

“Not by my good friends,” he said, which told a story in itself. After a moment’s quiet he added, “For years and years I used to go to New York City every couple of months for laser treatments on it, starting when I was about six. They really broke down the pigment. It’s not as bad as it used to be.”

“It’s not bad at all,” I said, matter-of-factly, “if I didn’t even notice it until you pointed it out.”

“But you see it now,” he argued.

“Yeah, because you stabbed your finger at it and told me to look,” I retorted, with a snort. I lay back down and ran my hand through his hair. “Look. Everyone’s got birthmarks. Everyone has them. That’s what you have to remember. We’ve all got shit that stains us, and that we’re afraid sets us apart. Yours is on the outside, that’s all. It’s unfortunate, but those treatments must’ve worked, because like I said, I couldn’t even see the thing.”

He thought about that for a minute. “Where’s yours?”

“Mine? They’re the black stains on my eternal soul,” I replied, without hesitation. “And trust me, laser treatments are no good for that.”

His hand reached out for mine; he squeezed my fingers tightly. “I don’t believe you,” he said, twining our hands together. “You must be the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”

I wish I believed his words, myself.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sunday Morning Questions: All Are Welcome Here Edition

I get a lot of email in the course of a week. A whole lot of email. And while I generally get around to it, sooner or later (I swear! There was actually the space of three whole days at the beginning of April when my pending-reply box was blissfully empty), sometimes it takes a little time.

I prioritize, you see. The urgent stuff and the notes that only require a quick reply get my attention almost immediately. The mails that are more personal and need longer replies tend to languish a few days. Or weeks. I apologize for it, but I like to give the emails the attention they deserve. Eventually. Since I love the email, I'm not complaining or suggesting that I'd like to get less of it. Just know that if I don't reply immediately, it's not because I tossed your missive in my virtual trashcan.

I've noticed in the last couple of weeks an email trend. I've gotten several notes from readers asking if I mind female fans. I'm surprised, a little—not that I have female fans. I've got a distinct population of those. Some of them comment regularly, even. I know that for a while I had several women readers who were themselves writers of slash fiction. And if I have to explain what slash fiction is to you people . . . well, I'm not gonna.

There's no NO GURLS ALLOWED sign on my clubhouse door. A small minority of my readers might balk at the notion that this is anything other than a boys-only enclave. Don't worry. My female fans have been pretty innocuous, and just as polite as most of my readers. You've probably not even noticed them. If you happen to be one of my female readers, I welcome you.

We could all stand to learn a little more about each other, in the end.


Do you feel like you have to, or maybe do automatically, censor your behavior and what you say around women in gay bars? Even if they're not watching you?

I cannot say I do. I don't think of women as alien creatures unacquainted with male sexuality. They know better than men what pigs we are, sometimes.

Besides, if they're in a gay bar, they're guests there. You might not want to take them in the back room with you, but you shouldn't have to censor your natural affections when they're around.


You had a great date with a guy. Is it to soon/needy to call him the next day or should you wait a day or two?

Unless he asks you to call the next day, I think waiting another day or two seems less anxious.

Of course, if he's asking you to call the next day, he might seem like the controlling and/or needy one.


Are your little sperms flowing the bounty mane or are they being stopped due to some previous surgery?

If you're asking whether I've had a vasectomy, the answer would be that I have not.


What street do you live on?

This question is nice and stalkery! Was that you shining the flashlight in my window last night?


can you say that you are living your life to its full capacity?

Who among us is? What I am doing, however, is trying to live as richly as possible, accepting experiences as they arrive, and trying to be open-minded to the possibilities. As long as I'm doing that and not running away from opportunities in fear, I think I'm doing all right.


If I asked you to think of five dicks you've had in you, what five dicks (and guys attached to them) would you think of?

1. I'd think of the first I took.
2. Earl and his meat would come immediately to mind.
3. I'd think of the Latin guy who picked me up in a mall bookstore and fucked me in his apartment.
4. I'd remember fondly the dick of a man with whom I was in love a decade ago, whose top virginity I took before he took a religious vow.
5. I'd probably lastly think about the Australian who was my last top, way too many years ago.


which one of the seven dwarfs from Snow White would you be??

Sleazy. That's one of them, isn't it?


How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Apparently I own 17 pairs of shoes. I had more, but when I learned I was moving, I gave a dozen pairs to charity that I rarely wore.

The oldest shoes I have are a pair of tan suede bucks that I got during college. They're still in excellent condition.


Have you ever slept with somone 10 years or more older than you? Over 10 years younger? (Some questions from the web now)

Yes, to both questions. And quite often. I've never really been ageist, even (or especially) when I was very young.


Lots of ppl work from home for their boss, seems sensible considering traffic jams and all. Do you think they all work the hours they claim they do? Do you trust that?

I'm not convinced they work all the hours they claim they do in the workplace. There used to be an awful lot of Freecell going on in the places I used to work.

If the work's getting done with sufficient quality, in sufficient numbers, and on time, why quibble?


If your friends were in a monogamous relationship, you are friends with both, and you find out one of them is cheating.. would you tell the other?

No. Never. The other partner probably won't think you've done them a service, either, and very likely it could damage your friendship with both parties.

But primarily, their sexual life is not your business, and it's not your call to make judgements on someone else's relationship.