Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sunday Morning Questions: Sucker Punch Edition

Apparently I never learn.

There was a guy last year (I was looking for the entry so I could link it, but I didn't find it) who stood me up in a pretty spectacular way when he'd contacted me on BBRT and begged me—begged—to meet him. He detailed how he wanted to service me. Told me he'd do anything for my dick. Said he'd move heaven and earth for a chance to work on my knob.

So I gave the guy my address. He told me he'd be over in half an hour, after he showered. It was a late weekend night, and I was horny as fuck and could host, so after a half-hour I sat by the front window and waited for the guy. And waited. And waited. I ended up waiting for something like over an hour for the guy, who didn't return my text messages or the one phone call I tried making. After a half-hour of chat, a half-hour of showering, and over an hour of waiting, the guy had effectively killed my evening and I went to bed frustrated and horny and mad.

Well. I guess I'm just a sucker. I didn't talk to the dude for about three months after that. When out of the blue he contacted me to ask how I was doing. I'm one of those guys who carries a grudge for-fucking-ever, sadly; it takes a good deal of assholery to get me to that point, but once I'm there . . . hoo boy. Even though an entire season had passed, I was still angry enough at the guy to blast him with the full impact of the anger I still felt at him. Surprisingly, he took it like a man. He said he'd been wrong, and then he apologized. He told me his head had been in a weird space at that time, and that there was really no excuse for what he'd done, and he wished he could make it up to me.

I didn't capitulate immediately. I still felt burned. I told the guy I appreciated his being up front with me about it, though, and thanked him for the apology. It felt a little like trying to heal a leg amputation with an application of some Chapstick, but still, it was an apology.

So last night the guy hits me up again. Asks if I'm looking for sex. Promises he won't flake out on me this time. I shrug and say, sure, come on over. I give him the address and remind him of my cell number. He says he wants to make it up to me in a big way, and asks what I want him to wear. I tell him I'm not picky, but that I like fucking guys in jocks, if he's really wanting to make me happy. Other than that, I say, surprise me. The guy tells me he's going to hop in the shower—quickly, this time—and text me when he's leaving the house to head over.

All proceeds according to plan. A few minutes pass, and then I get a text telling me he's on the way. He's in my zip code, and only about ten minutes away, so I take my computer into the office and wait.

And I wait. And I wait. And I wait for the guy who stands me up once again, in the exact same way.

This time, the waiting wasn't so annoying. I was chatting online with a couple of my readers—hi guys!—so the time passed relatively quickly. After 45 minutes, though, I texted the guy and said, So you're flaking on me again, huh? And then after an hour, I turned off the porch light and sent another message to the guy never to contact me again.

I'm a sucker, I guess. But he was so convincing. And I was so horny!

Let's get to today's roundup of questions from If you've got questions for me, ask them there.

Is there hottest guy you've ever had sex with? Or are some of them like comparing apples and oranges?

There have been as many hottest guys in my life as there are definitions of 'hot'. I've had guys of average looks who gave me the hottest sex, and guys of extremely good looks who'd given porn stars a run for their money. I've been with guys with untraditional looks who are hotter than sin, and men who, just from working hard in bed to keep things interesting, have been much hotter than some muscle studs that every guy seems to think should be the gay ideal.

My strategy in life is to have fun with the guys I'm with, and to make every encounter hot.

Have you ever called someone "Daddy" (or "Papi") when he was fucking you?

Yes, but more often I'm called daddy than the reverse.

Advice Needed: What type of a filing system do you use for your home office and how do you link your hard copy file folders in your filing cabinet with that of the files on your computer and or emails?

I have a file folder named 'household', a file folder named 'contracts,' and then everything else goes into a folder named '2011'. That's about as organized as I get.

None of my computer files correspond to my simple filing system.

Do you and your spouse have cute pet names for each other? Do you use them in public too lol?

I'm a southern boy. Therefore, "honey" for is a multi-purpose word applicable to all ages and genders, equally suitable for new relationships and old.

Clearly, I've seen your dick, and I must say (if I haven't before), impressive ;) My question(s): 1. Most risque thing you've ever done sexually? 2. Kinkiest thing you've ever done? 3. Do you like dirty talk in bed? 4. What DO you like in bed?

Thanks. Asking me what the most risque or kinkiest sexual act in which I've ever indulged, however, is like asking Lady Gaga to pick her most outrageous outfit. After a while, you shrug and say, "Oh, she's just out there."

I do talk dirty in bed, but I don't imitate porn movie talk.

I like to be spoiled in bed. I don't get a lot of that, though.

You mentioned in one of your posts that Jim may have hurt you in some way? Not sure if I missed that post or not, but will you be talking about that anytime soon? Thanks twitter follower

There will be more posts in the future finishing off that long and dreadful chapter of my history. I don't think you've missed any, but on my blog you can always find my list of keywords and click on 'Earl' to see that particular series of entries.

Would you prefer to comfort a friend/lover or be comforted?

I've discovered over the last twenty-odd years that my primary instincts are to take care of other people, to provide comfort in times of stress and need. It's instinctive, and a reflex in my nature.

Sometimes, however, I wish that I were comforted more.

Have you ever in some not-gay-friendly public place ever held hands with a man? kissed him? put your arm around his waist? laid your arm across his shoulder?

I've held hands with guys in a movie theater, in the dark, but that's about it. It's a shame that Iv'e edited simple expressions of male-to-male affection from my unthinking repertoire.

Have you or your brother ever shared the same fuck? Or better yet has caught you in action?

My brother and I have many times been with the same guy.

There was never an option to be 'caught', however, given that our age difference is wide enough that he had already long left home by the time I was hitting my teens.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 5 years to become extremely attractive?

My beauty is already nearly unbearable. How about I take another five years of life expectancy just to dim my pulchritude down to merely extremely attractive?


  1. My beauty is already nearly unbearable.

    So true, dear friend. A beauty of piercing intensity, transfixing. And I, like a Red Admiral, intoxicated by it and ready to be mounted for your collection.

  2. RedPhillip,

    Nice one. I had to look up to see if the Red Admiral was really a butterfly, though.

  3. Hy my friend,
    How can somebody do a thing like that. I don't understand it, when you say you on your way and that you never show, that's wrong and twice, man that guy didn't know what he's missing. I'm glad that you don't wan't to see him again. I could never do that to someone and if i can't go, i contact that person and at least tell him that i can't make it. Me too i'm piss off when people do that to me so i understand you very much my sexy friend.


  4. I give you credit for giving the guy a second change of a meeting, but what a looser in life someone is who gets off on standing people up. That's the only reason it could be for him doing it the second time.

  5. Yves,

    Some guys just have no social skills, right?

  6. cyberi4a,

    When I think about how many times he seemed to act as if he were getting ready to head over—the notes I got as he picked out his clothing, the email after his shower, the text message when he allegedly left—all I can conclude is that he's one twisted fuck.

    (And secretly I hope he reads this entry so he knows how other people think he's a dickwad, too.)

  7. You're right my friend. The only thing they care is themselves and not the other person.
    Your a nice person and i don't like people doing thing like that to you. You deserve better than that.


  8. "...begged me—begged—to meet him. He detailed how he wanted to service me."

    Two things I hate are begging bottoms/cocksuckers of the sycophantic variety, and people who detail sex ahead of time. If either of these happen, I reply with, "I'm no longer interested."

    I get of the thrill of the unknown and spontaneity more than anything, and planning it kills it for me. And in my experience, the more I guy is all ooh baby this, and ooh baby that, the more likely it'll be a dud. One guy was saying, "...and I'll suck you like this, and you'll moan like that." All I could say is, "...the hell I will. Bye now."

    Another thing I hate is, "I'll be over, but I have to shower first." Um, no, you should have thought about that.

    I wouldn't have given you suitor round one let alone round to.


  9. Man, flakes never change. I got stood up today by a guy who had the nerve to STILL BE ONLINE when we were supposed to be hooking up. I had figured he was a flake long before that, but it still bugged me that he didn't even try to pretend.

    Never had a guy pretend he was coming over though...That's...going pretty far. I kinda hope he is reading this too.


  10. I have to agree with Seph with regard to scripters. It does seem to me that bottoms more than tops tend to have more or less elaborate scenarios they hope to realize with me as the (or one) participant. Viz. the seemingly endless requests one gets to organize 3-ways and more-ways and gang bangs - most often with man writing this script the only bottom. Hella annoying.

    Actually I find most any pre-scripted sex boring and intrusive. The exception I make is when I know my partner(s) would enjoy a given scene and within that parameter I can give reign to the inspiration of the moment. Kind of like what I anticipate it will be like for and with you, Mr Steed, when you are bound, blindfolded and used for our mutual pleasure.

  11. RedPhillip...thanks for overlooking my multiple typos...Seph

  12. Seph,

    I will never, never meet up with someone who has a big ol' cybersex script of how he wants a scene to go down. When I said he detailed what I want to do to me, he basically said that he wanted to make out, suck me, rim me, and ride my big dick. It wasn't elaborate or the kind of thing where he was obviously jacking off while telling me.

    I shouldn't have given him a second chance (obviously!), but he seemed so sincere in his apology about the first time that I did it anyway. Idiot me.

  13. Ace,

    This guy, the first time around, ended up online when he was supposed to be at my place. I know, right? You've got to wonder what games this guy is playing with others.

  14. RedPhillip,

    I said above that I don't like the guys with scripted scenarios in mind, either. There's a little bit of a difference, though, between you knowing a fantasy of mine, and me sitting down and postponing having sex by talking about my fantasy when I could actually be in my car on the way over to your place!

    Those gang-bang fantasy bottoms: shudder.

  15. "Apparently I never learn." No, it's not that, it's that you forgive and are willing to give someone another chance. I simply wish we could bring Karmic balance into play at times like these. If only it were swift justice. But, as we all know: his loss!