Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Charming Accent

I confess: I fucked him harder when I found out it made him shout.

“Oh goodness!” Jimmy yelled at the top of his voice, as I slammed in. “Oh goodness! How are you—?! How do you—?! Oh my! Oh my goodness!”

The grandmotherly phrases seemed incongruous with the man speaking them. My partner over the weekend was in his late thirties and built like a porn model—short, muscular, and compact. His ass was the perfect back half of a peach, rounded and fuzzy. Perhaps fuzzy is the wrong word to describe the hair covering all his body save for his shaved head. Down his defined chest cascaded a waterfall of fur, dark and bristly. His back was hairy as well, which I know turns off some—though he would have looked odd without it, like some kind of shaved monkey. As I fucked him, his hairy calves tickled my knees

The guy was an out-of-towner staying at one of the nicer hotels in the area. I’d plotted our encounter to be one of those dark hotel-room trespasses that I typically enjoy. I’d ordered Jimmy to pull the privacy drapes, crack the door, and be naked on the bed with his hole up, ready for eating. Instead of all that, I’d found his door shut. He answered it dressed in an eyesore of an orange robe and little leather slippers, while I practically had to squint to keep the sun from bleaching my eyesight completely through the open windows. And yet I found him charming enough that I didn’t mind how blatantly he’d ignored my suggestions.

It was probably because of his voice. “Oh my goodness!” he exclaimed, after I’d filled him up. He flopped down on his back and panted, eyes wide. “My god!” How can I say it politely? When Jimmy talked, he sounded like a cartoon. He resembled so much every foreign animated character that ever appeared in The Simpsons that whenever his lips moved, I wanted to lift the sheets or check behind the shower curtain to see if Hank Azaria was hiding somewhere, voicing him. “Oh my goodness gracious! That was wonderful indeed!”

Trying not to grin, I lay down beside him. “You have a charming accent,” I said.

“Oh!” he said, delighted. Most men I know have not a lot of tonal range when they speak. They’ve got the ordinary monotone, and a lower, gruffer sex voice. Jimmy, however, was the coloratura of speaking. He could growl with the best of them, but when he was delighted, even the one syllable of Oh! ran up two octaves and down again, sprinkled with trills and mordents. “You are the best of the best. I am Persian. You know what is Persian?”

The sentence’s odd construction made me want to answer carpets?, but I realized what he was asking. “Persian. Iranian.”

His nose wrinkled. “Yes, Persian. You have been with Persian man before?” I had to admit I had. “You make the babies in him like you make the babies in me?”

I liked Jimmy the Persian at his most flirtatious. “I did,” I said, pressing his forehead to mine. I grabbed onto his inordinately hairy legs and pulled one up, so that my still-hard dick nudged against his hole. “But I’m going to make more in you.”

“What is this?” he said, in his lilting cartoon voice. “We are doing this twice? We are doing this twice? Oh my goodness!” His head lolled back when I entered him, and we began fucking again until I made more babies in him.

I have to admit, I really liked Jimmy. He did everything I liked, and then some. He kissed well and his mouth tasted good. He ate my armpits, and chewed on my nipples. After the second fuck, he went down between the sheets and sucked my dick clean, straight out of his hole. Then he sucked on my balls and ate my ass for what seemed like an hour, before grabbing my feet and sucking their toes, heels and balls. Through it all I gasped and prayed that it wouldn’t end too soon. It’s not often that I find someone who ungrudgingly gives me such pleasure. When he finished with my feet and began softly kissing my eyebrows and massaging my scalp with the very tips of his fingers, I realized it was truly head-to-foot service.

“You’re amazing,” I murmured.

“No!” he protested. “You are the amazing one! This is how I treat someone as amazing as you! You are worth more than millions of coins to me!”

It had to be the sweetest compliment I’ve received in a while, primarily because I’d never heard anything like. I rolled him over and began munch on his hole again, which made him squeal in registers that only dogs could hear. When I parted his legs and pulled myself up between them, he gasped in surprise, “Three times? We are doing this three times? Oh my goodness!”

Jimmy was so charming that after I’d pumped the third load into him, I stuck around for several minutes and helped him out with a map of the area so that he could go shopping before heading back to his home in Ontario. He tried to press me into letting him take me to breakfast (“You are too skinny! You need to be eating more! I will fatten you up!”), but I ended up kissing him lingeringly in the hotel room doorway and leaving. It was the most reluctant departure I’d made in weeks.

I got the following message from Jimmy, Monday:

i just arrive at home, i went to that shopping mall u told
me and shopped too many thing, was good place to get good
price 40%. had californian pizza too, miss you sexy, my
trip was wonderful finishing being with u and knowing how
sexy gentle and hot you are...
u made my trip worh like billionz of $$$
i m glad i met u Robb
take care of your sexy body, i m far away can't take care
of you and lick you from toes to head...
c u

Even when he emails, he has the most charming accent.


  1. My morning coffee is now your blog. :-)

    My dream is to someday be an entry... the one where you describe taking the bareback cherry of a teacher whose ass takes all your daddy sperm....

  2. Teacher,

    Let's work on that post together.

  3. I look forward to it. I'll even moan with my French accent while you fuck me.... ;-)

  4. I love a super hairy guy. I have a fuck buddy who's hairy like an ape, and I love running my hands through the hair on his back when I'm fucking him doggy-style. There's something so basic, so animal and right about mating with a furry man. And since I love the feeling of hair rubbing against my chest while I'm fucking, and I also love running my hands through chest hair when I'm fucking, a double-sided guy is just the ticket!

  5. That was both the filthiest and sweetest blog entry I've ever read. Like your other poster, I, too, hope to be an entry one day and hope to be spoken of half as fondly.

  6. Oh my goodness, I needed that giggle this morning! Hank Azaria, indeed.

    Thanks for the morning infusion of blog (I know you are busy with the house) - it always makes for a better start to my day.

  7. That was so sweet! I loved this entry! Were for some it might just be there morning news/blog/coffee, for me it is my afternoon meal/food/prayers! ;-)
    I am very delighted to see you serve all races, all ages, all variaty of men, super naughty to super sweet and you seemingly enjoy them all and respect them equally as I like to be respected! :-)
    Just as the first commentary (teacherluvscum) says, I fantasize about being also an entry... "(...) one where you describe taking the bareback cherry of a teacher whose ass takes all your daddy sperm...."
    A primary school teacher here from Holland, that would definitely also squeal and talk in an accent... for you to find out and describe in your own magical and thrilling words...

    Keep up the good work!

  8. I am addicted to your blog!!! Your posts are so good in so many ways, just like I bet having your dick inside would be so wonderful in a myriad of ways. :)

    Yet another great post of yours. Thanks for writing them. I think you said you'd be moving to the east coast. I'm in NY so maybe I can see that 8" up close and personal. ;)


  9. the "coloratura of speaking"? That really made my day. Hi, sorry for not commenting for quite a while.

    anonymous tony

  10. There seems to be a lot of teachers who are fans of your blog (myself included). And we all want you to teach us a long, hard lesson on being bred!

    Great post! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

  11. That's was the funniest and sexiest and most loving post about "anonymous" sex I've ever read. :)

  12. @luvs2suk: Perhaps all you teachers want Robb to be your "Headmaster".

    I too used to play with a Persian guy, but he was the top. He captivated me then and I think of him still. Very sexy, well hung and oh-so furry!!!

  13. I am smooth and dont have accent I hope thats not an impediment to having all of your babies . . . .

  14. "I am beside myself with glee. Look--here I am, and here I am again." I'm confident you don't need any help with all those willing teachers; but, if you decide you want some help, count me in. :)

  15. Apparently, where The Breeder is concerned, PTA now stands for Pounding Teachers' Asses!

  16. I've always been reticent about bb, but something about The Breeder just makes me want to fling my legs back, have him spit in my hole and plow away.... I would DEFINITELY be honoured to have him take my BB cherry.

    The thought of his cum running out of my ass during class....

  17. you're one of the most fun, lively, and load inducing blogs I've ever read. Thanks for fucking but thanks even more for writing about it.

  18. Hehe ... Hot, funny, dirty - a good read, Thanks mate :)

  19. The extended musical metaphor was very well done. I might expect one whose taste runs from show tunes to Schumann to know what coloratura and trills are; but mordents are even more . . . baroque!

    Now: Was "[h]is ass . . . the perfect back half of a PEACE [emphasis added], rounded and fuzzy," or was it that of a PEACH, however rare? (You need'nt publish this comment.)

    Your Most Humble Servant,
    Anonicus II

  20. I love this. I wish I was closer to do this to you. And he is right. Thank you for my first smile of the morning. :)

  21. There should be a line of hairy male fuck dolls that yelp "oh my goodness!" I'd buy one.

  22. Fella,

    I love the term 'double-sided guy.' Hilarious. I'm with you, man.

  23. Anonymous,

    Filthy and sweet is just what I aim for. I'm glad I'm hitting the target.

  24. Esteban,

    Nothing has made me want to visit Holland more than your comment on this entry. I wish I were winging my way over right now.

  25. Scott,

    I'll be close to NY. Maybe you will see it up close and personal. A guy can hope, anyway.

  26. Anonymous Tony,

    I'd missed you! You should speak up more often. And thank you very much. I'm glad to have entertained you.

  27. Luv2suk,

    It is interesting how many teachers read and comment on my blog. Since I occasionally teach myself, maybe it's a case of like calling to like.

  28. Master D,

    High praise, coming from your fingertips. Thank you very much.

  29. PDQ,

    Headmaster. Heh-heh-heh. That did make me laugh.

  30. Johnny,

    Trust me, my babies would enjoy being made in you!

  31. mtlpussyboi,

    Thanks for that! I hope to keep earning your high praise.

  32. Franz,

    Thanks, my friend. I'm glad I can balance funny with dirty for you. :-)

  33. Anonicus II,

    I hope you keep your Latinate nickname. It made me laugh aloud.

    I can well-temper a clavier with the best of 'em, so you know.

  34. Writer,

    If only I could've seen that smile. Thank you.

  35. Mark,

    If you want to write up a business plan and start looking for investors, I'm in!

  36. Gentle Breeder:

    You can well-temper a clavier! Perhaps you can also Tell-a-mahn, Scar-Lottie and Ram-Oh! So it seems.

    Anonicus II

  37. Anonicus II,

    I can pack-el-ball, too. And a Perk o' lay? Si!

    (That was bad.)