Sunday, May 29, 2011

Sunday Morning Questions: Relocation Edition

So here's the deal, guys.

At the end of the week, my little household is moving from the middle of the country several hundred miles to its eastern edge. It's a big and stressful undertaking. I know I've been frazzled the last several weeks, but I'm expecting this week, and my current home, to be the epicenter of a stressquake of a magnitude never before encountered. I mean, the last time I moved this far, I was a student and all my possessions could be fit into a car.

Of course, the last time I moved this far I didn't have professional movers handling everything, so who knows? Maybe it'll be a breeze. Fingers crossed.

I'm going to try to make a few entries this week while I can, but they may be erratic. I probably won't have any internet access after midweek save through my phone, and it won't be switched on at the new place until late next week. I'm planning to re-post some very old entries while I'm gone to tide you guys over, and I'll probably also include an old entry that never was published here. I'm not a huge fan of reruns, but I know a lot of my newer readers haven't been exploring the back archive, and some of my older readers might get a kick out of knowing what old entries are my favorites.

Basically, I'm apologizing in advance for how inconsistent it's going to be around here for the next two weeks, and hope you'll stick with me and throw out the odd encouraging comment from time to time. I'd appreciate it.

Let's get to some questions, courtesy of

Would you break up with someone because of his politics?

Absolutely, if I found them abhorrent to me. But more likely I wouldn't get to the point where we'd be involved, if that were the case.

I read your blog all the time, it's smoking hot, but what confuses me is you say you are married but you have guys over quite frequently. I'm wondering what exactly is the arrangement with your spouse? Are you separated? Estranged? Divorced? Or just open?

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you'd know I've answered this question several times before. I have a creative job that allows me to structure most of my days as I please. If it pleases me to invite men over when my house is free, I may do so. I've also spoken several times of the separation I currently have from my family as we attempt to most to the east coast. My family is already there and has been for six months, while I stay behind and attempt to sell my house.

I've also addressed the latter set of questions before . . . by refusing to address it. That matter is private.

Interest post, about fans. Makes me wonder what you'd do if your shit ever hit one. Any thoughts?

Interesting that you assume I have shit that would hit a fan. Doesn't mean that you're right, though.

What is a thing you would never do during sex?

Cross-dress. (I intend no offense to those who enjoy it. It's just not a turn-on for me, personally.)

If you could have sex professionally (in any way you like), would you?

If you mean if I could have sex and get paid for it, I've done that more times that I could really count. Hell, I put a down-payment on my first house using rent-boy money.

You're hungry now! what would you like to eat?

My go-to answer for that question is always Thai noodles or pizza.

What's you favorite porn site?

I don't have a porn site that I visit on a regular or even semi-regular basis. I think that I would have to say that Twitter is my favorite porn site, because my timeline is usually rich with guys posting self-pics and links to photos they think are hot. I'm more inclined to look at those than browse porn sites.

Would you give up everything and leave everything behind to be with the person you love?

Who says I love only one person?

About your view that bottoms far outnumber tops -- do see ED playing a role in guys retiring to bottoming?

I answered this exact question for you several weeks ago. Most bottoms I've played with during my long sexual career have been rock-hard when I fuck them. They're clearly not experiencing erectile dysfunction.

chinese or mexican?

I'd probably pick Mexican. When it comes to going to a strange Chinese or Mexican restaurant, I've had mediocre food at the worst Mexican restaurants, but extraordinarily bad and inedible food at the worst Chinese places.

Wait, we are talking about food, right?

What is your perception of how people see you?

I spent too much time in my teens and twenties worrying about how people saw me, so that I could figure out how to blend in and not attract attention.

What a waste of time. Now I don't really give a rip. The only people I really care about are my loved ones, and they like me just fine.

If you had any one piece of advice for a young guy discovering and exploring his sexuality...what would it be?

You've got a limited amount of time on this planet. Too little time to waste on fear and shame, or to feel ugly and unworthy.

Instead of wasting that time, get out and meet the people you want to meet. Introduce yourself to the men you'd like to get to know, regardless of what other people think of you or them. Have the sex that you want to have, without fretting about what your friends or parents might think. It's your life. Live it.

Only please, do so without trampling on the feelings of others. We've all got to get along, here.


  1. Stop agonizing over it...change oftentimes is good and if you look at it as an adventure, a new opportunity to meet new people and see new things, to do even better things...then you'll be ok.


  2. This is a brilliant statement, "You've got a limited amount of time on this planet. Too little time to waste on fear and shame, or to feel ugly and unworthy.

    Instead of wasting that time, get out and meet the people you want to meet. Introduce yourself to the men you'd like to get to know, regardless of what other people think of you or them. Have the sex that you want to have, without fretting about what your friends or parents might think. It's your life. Live it.

    Only please, do so without trampling on the feelings of others. We've all got to get along, here. "

    I hope you don't mind me using it. It's especially poignant as I return from the funeral of a good friend who just lost his 8-year battle with cancer.

  3. The answer to the last question is why Rob is one of my favorite bloggers and people in general.

  4. Hi my friend, i know that it's going to be one crazy week for you with the moving but i'm sure everything is going to go well. We all know that you are moving and that the posts won't be there so you don't have to apologized for that, we understand very well what you are going through, a big move is not easy and it takes time so, take the time it needs and we will all wait for you cause we all love you man. I will be reading your old posts anyway cause i didn't finish reading them all. Hope that we will keep in touch during your move. I will always be there for you my sexy friend. Take care.


  5. If you are using movers it shouldn't be to stressful.

    I worst and tiring move I ever had was moving from one side of the street to the other. What could be easier, pick something up and carry it across the street. Fill a box, walk across the street and put it right away. The tiring part was you do that about a million times.

    I would rather move hundreds of miles then 30

  6. What Exploring Jack quoted, when you answered it in your formspring originally, I actually wrote it down so I could look at those words for strength and courage. I'm so used to guys rejecting me because I'm too old and fat, and my hair isn't right, my clothes are plain, oy vey the list goes on an on.

    But I read your words to myself, and I finally thought, Why not go for the guys who I think won't be interested in me? So I did, and I've met some new guys, hot guys who I thought would never be interested in me in a million years, and holy hell, I actually had sex with some of them, which is totally new for me lol.

    I really want to say thank you for your words, coming from you I know it is always wise advice, don't shrug off this compliment because it's true, you know, you are so careful and thoughtful with your words to everybody here, young and old (like me). I'm looking forward to exploring my new bravery more and more. I'm feeling more attractive now too.

    (Re: your move, I'm sure you will find a new network of fb's and friends very very quickly, because I can only see your beard and your smile but those are very hot indeed, yessir.)

  7. Raulito,

    I'm not agonizing. I'm looking forward to a new chapter. To pretend that moving week isn't going to be stressful, though, would simply be living in denial.

  8. Jack,

    Thanks. I'm glad it resonated with you. Use it any way you'd like, though some attribution would be nice. :-)

  9. Eduard,

    Thank you for that statement, and for your faith in me.

  10. Yves,

    I'll be around on Twitter. Probably a lot. It's something I can do on my phone and still feel linked in.

  11. Cyberi4a,

    Yeah, at least with movers I won't have to worry about lifting all those boxes of books. Again. The big issue is that I've accumulated an adulthood of material possessions since I moved to this state, and there just seems to be SO MUCH OF IT.

  12. 7:50 Anonymous,

    I'm inexpressibly touched by your testimony. I really don't think (and this isn't me shrugging off your praise, honest!) that I'm saying anything that hasn't been expressed before. But it always seems to me that there are so many men and women out there who spend all their lives worried about stuff that, in the very long perspective, doesn't matter. They let fear prevent them from doing the things they want, because they worry they'll fail, or get a rejection, or embarrass themselves.

    I've been like this myself for long stretches of my life, and I regret the time I wasted doing it. So get out there, I say, and live life. Squander it on fun stuff. Meet new people. Strike up conversations with strangers you'll never see again, just for the hell of it. Hell, it's never too late.

    So I'm glad you tapped in to that universal truth, and stepped out of your self-constructed shell. You seem all the happier for it, and that makes me very, very happy in return.

    Much love to you.

  13. May all the spirits of good fortune, energy, patience, and seredipidous out-of-the-blue moments of joyful surprise travel with you as you make this move! They're never fun, they're always easier in some ways and harder in others than you anticipate, and - best of all - they are all ultimately OVER and things start to settle down again. Like all the rest of your Readers, I'll miss your regular presence until you can return - but anybody with any sense at all understands that you are BUSY for a while with lots of things beyond your generous work on this blog. I look forward to seeing you back next week - or the week after - or whenever it is you can be here. Meanwhile, enjoy the trip and know that lots of people are out here in blog-world wishing you well (and wishing they could help to carry some of those boxes and tote some of that furniture and assist you in.....any way you'd like.......). GOOD LUCK!!!

  14. I love your advice - wish I would have read that when I was 17 and not 47; but there is still life to live.

    If you plan to do reruns, I'd highly encourage the story of when you were a young man mowing the yard for the nice southern gentleman. You caught a glimpse of him hiding behind the curtains taking note of your sweaty body and pleasuring himself. I think newer readers will genuinely appreciate the skill of your writing style as well as the boner inducing events that followed. I also think the one where you went from bottom to top. Was that "The Fulcrum"? Those are both worthy of reruns!

    Best of luck in your move. Having spent a lifetime in the military moving numerous times, I always expect something to get lost or broken. It's a bonus when you get there and the only things broken are things you should have tossed out anyway.

  15. "About your view that bottoms far outnumber tops -- do see ED playing a role in guys retiring to bottoming?"

    I wonder if an some cases that isn't true though. Just because I guy can get hard when getting boned don't always mean he'll be able to get it up when the roles are reversed. Performance anxiety springs to mind.


  16. Moving is always very stressful, but you will be fresh meat in your new area and should get lots of quality ass!
    BTW, like anonymous, you have had a big impact on my sex life. I was a guy who just got blown (a lot) by many guys. I always turned the ass down as I would only fuck with a condom, and I hate using them. Your adventures inspired me to go for the raw ass and OMG, I love it. Beautiful young guys whom I have rimmed and then fucked silly. They basically never ask for a condom, or if I say that I don't like to fuck with one, they let me have them raw.

  17. "Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day to day living that wears you out"...Chekhov

    Mate, it takes a real man with genuine courage to expose himself emotionally as you've done on this blog, on various occassions. I hope you get the opportunity to reflect on the responses you're receiving most recently relative to what you've posted in the past and your readers' responses at that time...

    There is so much warmth and care surrounding you. I hope you have a period of time to just BE, riding the momentum of this signicant change that's taken centre stage of your life...and then, make a conscious effort to REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE so that you can ascend on your latest adventure or forgotten passion...even if that means being a bit 'selfish' for a while, until you feel grounded and driven to unleash all that pent-up emotion on that very, very fortunate bottom, that first fuck in your new life.

    All the best to you and your safe and be EXCEPTIONALLY kind to yourself, now more than ever.

    "Everything we do is unimportant but it is important that we do it"....mahatma Gandhi